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BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza!
    #3875591 -

So tommorrow (Sunday morning) I'll be embarking on a road trip across the united states... from socal... to dallas... to new jersey... to washington DC... when I get back to socal... it's another road trip to San fran.. so for the next month I'll be all over the fucking place.. It's BrAiNapalooza... coming to a town near you. I'll bring my camera and throw up some reports and pics as soon as I can get access to a starbucks and a scanner...


Soo... I'm gonna use this post here as my own personal blog to fill you in on all the juicy bars and truck stop highlights for the next 4 weeks seeing as how I won't be in my normal IRC mode.

TALEY HO!

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3875599 -

Hey man if you're in Colorado drop me a line. I'm working on an amateur bukkake film but I need a star!

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: Ythan]
    #3875647 -

We're heading south of CO I think... I can be your "Man on the field" though... looking for asian strip joints across the south

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: Ythan]
    #3875759 -

lol.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3875784 -

Sounds great! Have a good time, but I'm sure you will. :laugh:
If you find yourself 'twixt Nashville and Knoxville, gimmme a hollar.

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: Le_Canard]
    #3898086 -

Jesus ToiletDuk... I ended up in memphis, knoxville and nashville and I all I have to say dude is.. Why the fuck haven't you killed yourself yet?

AIGHT GUYS... I'm in DC right now.. downtown chillin in a starbucks... luggin around my sidebag, suitcast, and guitar... fun shit in the city... thank god we have a subway here at least.

So I left cali 7pm Sunday night.. made it to DC wednesday night (thurs morning)... 3 days and some change... not bad

400 MILES:

Phoenix. Sorry vamp, doob, that I didn't have time to swing in. It was late as shit and we were trying to make good time. I am convinced that there is a physical gateway between HELL and EARTH... and that it is in Phoenix. Driving through that city as night is creepy. Not only does it have more steam coming up from the earth than any city I've ever been in, but there was this huge fukcing array of red lights wAYYYY up in the sky (40-50 stories or so) blinking. I couldn't even see a building that was holding them up in the air. Someone care to fill me in on what this is?

ended up crashing in Tuscon.

800 MILES: El Paso texas... two words... SHIT HOLE... Mayhbe that's one word. 8 more words... THIS TOWN WOULD BENEFIT FROM A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST. I've been to some shitty cities in my day... hell.. i was born in SE Wash DC... but EL PASO... without a doubt is the most god forsaken city I've ever been to. In fact... I've never touched a gun before... but after leaving this city (after almost having the hand of satan suck us into the 9th circle of hell) I decided that maybe it's time to buy a gun.. so I can keep it with me at all times and when I meet someone that tells me that they're from Elpaso... I'll shoot them in the face immediately.. to put them out of their misery and to keep them from spreading their elpaso-ness to other parts of the country

Mile 1600: Just outside of Texarkana, TX... Got pulled over by the Texas Highway Patrol.. aka the THIPS (that's chips.. with a gay lisp). I was so jacked on ephedrine when I got pulled over, I ended up babbling and rambling on to the cop so much, I think he let me go with a warning just because I annoyed the shit out of him. He seemed really confused when I was trying to explain that I was driving my roommate's girlfriend's car from Socal to Jersey because her dog was too neurotic to handle a road trip.

TEXAS SUCKS my friends. If you are from TEXAS or TENNESEE, KIILL YOURSELF NOW! Please for the love of God... do us all a favor... and take your own life right after taking out as many texans or tennesee-ans as you can.

I was really relieved to get the fuck out of texas.. not just becase it sucked balls in general... but because of the weird looks we were getting, actually being two people with an IQ over 50 in the state.

TWO MORE WORDS: EASY RIDER.... If you've seen the ending... well... yea... you know why I wanted to get thr fuck outta that state.

Oh yea... we ended up crashing in Midland, TX.. home of the current prez, G dub... I would have defaced a landmark there, but all I saw was a cactus and a petroleum museum... I figured this city was bad enough as it was... didn't need to do anything else to it.

Mile 1700: Little Rock. We started cutting through and my roommate (who I was following) took an exit. I thought maybe we were lost and turning around. (Keep in mind that he's a libertarian that hates Bill Clinton.. I'm not a big fan of him either). We finally stop in front of the brand new Bill Clinton memorial library at 1am. I knew exactly why. We both hopped out of our cars and I proceeded to PISS on the sign. He snapped a picture of it (which I will post later on), hopped back in our cars and took the fuck off.

MILE 2000: East Memphis.... Condoms in the candy machine next to the reece's pieces... hmmm.. interesting

Mile 2450: Finally made it through Tennesee. See comments above in response to ToiletDuk. Other than that... All I'll say is that I saw more schwasticas cutting through this state than I've seen in my life. Maybe we can convince al queda that Tennessee is the new financial capitol of the states... maybe stop by a long john silvers in opryland and mail osama the placemat or something.. u dunno... just a thought.


Finally made it to DC last nite. Fun fun times... Time to go drinking tonight. I had some more literally aesthetic stuff that I've been keeping in my head the whole trip... I'll try to remember what it is and post it later... I've been running around on the subway all day since waking up. I finally get a chance to crash at a buddy's place tonight and smoke a bowl for the first time in 2.5 months....

I'll keep these blogs a' comin' later on this week.

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3899637 -

mmmm honey brown beer... how i miss it... before i left the midwest I was concerned that budweiser and miller had destroyed their competition... than I got back back civilization and realized that it was allllll just a bad dream

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3899700 -

yeah, Memphis/Little Rock are shitholes. I can confirm the El Paso comment after passing through last year to go to Tempe.

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3899709 -

Welcome to DC! The museums and monuments are really boring. Although if you've never seen them they could be mildly entertaining.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: dblaney]
    #3901785 -

Actually I'm originally from the DC/Baltimore area. I moved to socal 2 years ago.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3910789 -

mmm dundalk... urban white trash capitol of the united states....

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3910986 -

Haha, Dundalk...

In that case...welcome back! :cool:

Did you miss the "Baltimore Problem" and all that fun-ness?


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3911162 -

Should pop by SC/NC and hit up a Mellow Mushroom eatery or whatever they are, they seem quite cool from the looks of it though.

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: DannyT]
    #3912518 -

I wish I could hit the carolina's.. I'll be out here till Wed morning. if only I had more time.

Baltimore PROBLEM? heh... yea i kinda miss baltimore. I have a job interview in downtown DC and Baltimore. If I was offered both... I'm not sure which one I'd pick.

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Re: BrAiN's Cross Country Extraviganza! [Re: BrAiN]
    #3916005 -

Back in DC again... living in and out of starbuck's... as much as I hate the place... they're fucking convenient... kinda like a crack dealer

anyways... I parked downtown and decided to walk a few blocks to the hirschorn modern gallery of art.

I passed by the white house... the beating heart of our government... and smoked a BIG FAT MUTHAFUCKIN D00000B as I walked in front. It was a symbolic demonstration of independence. As I walked past, there was a sticker on the street sign at the corner of the block which read 'George W Bush caused 9-11'. Only in america :wink:

I didn't realize how high I was until I made it to the very first floor of the modern gallery. If any of you guys are in the DC area now.. GO TO THE HIRSCHORN before they mess around with their gallery anymore. All 3 levels are wide open and packed with some of the coolest shit. Aside from the Calders, Warholls, Picasso's n shit in there... there's some really fuckin crazy stuff... There's some really wacked shit in the basement level from this London chicked named CATHY DE MONDRAUX ... Her pieces were enough to make any man turn gay if they stared long enough.. One of her pieces was a giant copper structure protruding from the floor with a giant vaginal opening about 15 feet across with giant rusty metal spikes that looked like freddy kreugar claws tearing the gap even wider... (chills down his spine). Crazy stuff man.

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