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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them
    #3063450 - 08/28/04 11:05 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a test. The first step of the test was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."


this guy has been dating a girl for about a year and he asks her to marry him. she says yes and a few days later the girls hot younger sister calls him up to help plan how to get the bride to be to a suprise wedding shower. when he gets there she pulls him inside sits him on the couch and tells him she has always thought he was hot. she says that she would love to fuck him just once before the wedding and never have to speak of it again. she walks up the stairs toward the bedroom and says if you want to do it follow me if not thats fine too. as soon as she gets out of site he runs out the front door. when he gets outside he sees the girls dad. the dad gives him a big hug and says now that you passed this test you can marry my daughter. the moral of the story is................................
always keep your condoms in the car


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OfflineUncleMike
Visionary
Male

Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 964
Loc: S.W. Virginia
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: crusher101]
    #3064447 - 08/29/04 07:30 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

HaHaHa thanks I need that.


--------------------
Live each day like it will be your last, tomorrow my never come.
SporeSmart


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: UncleMike]
    #3065548 - 08/29/04 04:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

anytime


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
Female User Gallery

Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet Flag
Last seen: 8 months, 23 days
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: crusher101]
    #3067267 - 08/30/04 12:51 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

hahahah
That's cool!
Thanks man. :thumbup:


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineTyger
PeAcE

Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 412
Loc: My house (Canada)
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: crusher101]
    #3067879 - 08/30/04 04:42 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

lol


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Offlinecosmicray
Emaho!

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 76
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: crusher101]
    #3069592 - 08/30/04 04:34 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office, completely naked and wrapped in Saran Wrap. The doctor looks up and says, "I can see your nuts."


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Invisiblemyndreach
philosopher
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 2,368
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: crusher101]
    #3069684 - 08/30/04 05:01 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

a guy is in a doctor's office and the psychiatrist asks the guy what the problem is...

"Well dr. my penis is orange"

"Well are you changing any soaps you use? "

"No."

"Have you started eating any new foods?"

"No."

"Change your excersise habits"

"No...no...no...all I've been doing is sitting around eating cheet-O's and watching porn all day."

***********************************************

Three nun's die and go to heaven and meet St.Peter at the gates of heaven. He tells them they must cleanse any parts of their bodies that have been involved in sexual activity during their lives before they can enter Heaven.

The first one walks up and says, "I touched a man's penis once", and then washes her hands in the holy water.

The second nun walks up, and suddenly the third nun pushes the second aside and runs up.

"Sister, sister," St. Peter says, "You must wait your turn!"

The third nun replies, "Fuck that! I'm rinsing my mouth out before she sticks her ass in it!"


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: myndreach]
    #3069743 - 08/30/04 05:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

cool ... maybe this can be a joke thread sticky keep thos jokes coming


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
Female User Gallery

Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet Flag
Last seen: 8 months, 23 days
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: crusher101]
    #3071041 - 08/30/04 10:49 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks for this thread!!
I could always use the laughs.
BTW....check your ratings!  :wink:


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: just giving some laughs to ppl that may need them [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3071043 - 08/30/04 10:50 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

whooo hoooo thx desiree


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