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Outrageous accusations made against me
    #29671076 -

My ex made a long list of outrageous claims against me to the police, it's a civil matter so there's no criminal anything involved and I don't have to admit or deny anything to have the matter resolved.

I'm insulted as alî fuck though, the list is absolutely insane. I don't think I've met a person who has actually done what this list claims I've done, it's truly psychopathic.

She is a major depressive paranoiac with CPTSD, and for all my years of helping her and saving her from suicide attempts and trying to help her work through counselling and come back to society this is what I get.

Fucken hell :facepalm:


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner]
    #29671697 -

Man, what a shitty thing to do to someone. Maybe she’s lost her marbles and doesn’t know fiction from reality, or why would she be motivated to do this?


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Mickalopagus]
    #29671705 -

Her motivation is our relationship is ending and she doesn't have the social skills to do it right, plus paranoia, plus CPTSD, plus XYZ complexes, plus wonky social skills.

She has been scrambling for her marbles for years. I've supported her through years of agrophobia and multiple suicide attempts.

I should have ripped this shit out at the roots years ago but I'm too kind for my own well being.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner]
    #29671714 -

Best of luck we have all been there. There is no winning with a crazy paranoid people. When I was deal with an ex gf would like you had manic then depression episodes where she hid in the attic. The police were called by her because she didn't feel safe, told them I put people in the walls to mess with her, that I drugged your with meth so she couldn't sleep for days,  that I killed and ate her dog in front of her even though the dog was alive and well  right next to her.  Police did take her away to the ward a few times and she did get better enough to get a job , but I left around the last time she went to ward.

You can't save everyone.


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The better guide to grow mushrooms.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8553541

Beware the power of one.  The power of two. The power of many.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: vicepope]
    #29671718 -

Yeah it's so hard man. For a week or so before this police stuff came when I'd come home from work she'd run to the bedroom. I thought this was just normal end of relationship stuff. Then she tells the police she's hiding in the bedroom from my violence, and scared to lock the door in case I smash it down.

I was just like "yeah, she needs space" no need to go there.

Parallel universes hey.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner]
    #29672692 -

Persistent low mood now. I have to deal with so much stuff. My one good friend has tapped out on me and says he can't help as support in any way cause it's effecting his own mental health, my other friends are far away or work FIFO.

Very alone.

The irony is that even if this shit didn't happen I'd still be in that place just very miserable. This is the hard road, but one that has a possible happy end, the other was just destroying me as a person.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner]
    #29672891 -

Northerner, you are not alone. I went through something very similar that was very challenging. I don't know your situation but these type of things can escalate pretty rapidly. I recommend taking care of yourself. Do some counseling and soul searching. I'm sure that you have things you are accountable for and you need to process them. It sounds like you are in the early stages of this and she is pointing towards domestic violence. That can easily become a significant challenge even if it is not true. Research DV to understand what it is and what you can be charged for. I have seen people punch walls or smash electronics and they get charged with DV without touching a partner. You are the only one in control of yourself and your actions. Treat her with respect but be firm with your boundaries and respect hers. Even if you do not feel you are abusive, recognize the situation and it's not safe for you to be around her if she claims this. It's ending and you just need to focus on how to do this safely, respectfully, and logically work through the hurdles.

I repeat, find a counselor that you can connect with to process your emotions and give you a healthy perspective. This is very valuable as a sanity check and to work through all of your emotions and thoughts.

The last piece of advice is to take each day one day at a time. Don't get caught up in what next month looks like or next year. Plan for what you can do but sometimes you will only be able to focus on getting through each day and each hurdle. You'll probably have some progressively more challenging days and days that you give up hope. Find a loved one that will take care of you. Respect your friends and family if they don't have the full capacity to process everything. That's valid depending on the circumstances but they will be there for you in other ways. Sometimes just having a meal together or a phone call to talk about nothing is a lifesaver. It does get better once you get through the challenge. You will find love again, heal, recover, and even hopefully forgive if you do it right.

Edited by I am the frog (09/19/26 10:40 AM)

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: I am the frog]
    #29672914 -

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me.

I've researched it fairly heavily already and can't see any angle where I have actually commited DV, but that doesn't matter. There's no charges either, it's a civil matter.

The reality is though it's completely unsafe for me to go anywhere near her, or even speak to her. I won't be speaking to her again, communication only through text messages and never about "us", only about the matters that need sorting to remove her permanently from my finances and life.

The truth doesn't matter anymore, only the fact that I need to get her out of my life in every way as soon as possible. My youngest kids turn 18 next month, then I'll be looking at ways to get her out of my house. I worry about my kids though. She's not a carer and they are vulnerable. It's important I get back in regular daily contact with them.

Thanks for all your other advice as well, much of it I've enacted and you're echoing what I've been told before. It's good to have it all reconfirmed again.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner] * 1
    #29673677 -

Can I get her number, she sounds like a good time

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: AlChemicalResearch] * 1
    #29674949 -

Today this feels like it's one of the best things that's happened to me in years. My stress levels are lower than they have been since I can remember. Not living with toxic manipulative shit for just 2 weeks has changed my world.

I slept 8 hours for two nights in a row, and had a 4 hour nap in between. That's more sleep than I used to get in a week. :feelsgoodman:


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner]
    #29675064 -

Northerner said:
Today this feels like it's one of the best things that's happened to me in years. My stress levels are lower than they have been since I can remember. Not living with toxic manipulative shit for just 2 weeks has changed my world.

I slept 8 hours for two nights in a row, and had a 4 hour nap in between. That's more sleep than I used to get in a week. :feelsgoodman:


Welcome back to the fold. This is why I always advise men dealing with kind of mental distress form there partners to just leave. People are forced to be better people when they are forced to be independent and responsible for there own living.

The ex gf that pulled the same shit on me learned to be independent and still has manic/depression episodes but is happier being alone in her apartment then dealing with people.  The world is better for it.


--------------------
The better guide to grow mushrooms.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8553541

Beware the power of one.  The power of two. The power of many.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: vicepope]
    #29675236 -

The sense of betrayal. By family, and so called friends, burns.

I'm not sure I've ever felt like this before. It makes me want to fight or fuck or something, it's truly en encompassing.

Roller coaster.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner]
    #29675821 -

yah crazy how the weight can be lifted from your psyche once you free yourself from whatever shackles are holding ya down.

congrats dude!


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Northerner] * 1
    #29679408 -

Homophobia is a protective mechanism against birthrate collapse because men and women are, strictly speaking, not compatible.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29680227 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Homophobia is a protective mechanism against birthrate collapse because men and women are, strictly speaking, not compatible.


Wtf are you talking about.


--------------------
The better guide to grow mushrooms.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8553541

Beware the power of one.  The power of two. The power of many.

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: vicepope]
    #29682120 -

Exactly what I said. No bisexual man would ever voluntarily date a woman without fear of ostracism making him do it and according to Kinsey about 30% of people are at least a little bit Bi.

The whole deal is just so insanely miserable. Even the happy straight couples I know still have the chick trigger some kind of crisis at least once a day just because she's bored or doesn't feel tingly enough.

Most of the medicalized terminology that's used just boils down to "being female and bored".

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Re: Outrageous accusations made against me [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29682141 -

You're hella switched on bro. I told him as much.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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