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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: Going to Bed Together when in a Relationship [Re: See_Ya_207]
    #28995657 -

Love to stay up - same kinds of things as OP!  It's 'me time'.

After work, it's dinner and conversation time until she goes to bed.  When she goes to bed (early for me - pre 10pm), she wants to just go to sleep.

Fortunately, she is generally okay with me staying up - just doesn't like it when it winds up being really late.

GL to you!

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Re: Going to Bed Together when in a Relationship [Re: drizztbandit] * 1
    #28995669 -

I wonder how much of it is concern/angst over you plugging into the Borg.

Sorry, but "you know, have a drink, smoke, stare at a screen" is not a healthy "way to relax" every single night in my book. It sounds like shitty adolescent habits metastasized into adulthood. If it's about getting shit done, you could just go to bed and get up earlier. I understand online communities and video games as hobbies/pursuits that people like to engage in (I'm posting here, after all), but don't try to play it off like "that's just how I unwind." The reality is that you're consistently choosing these activities over touching/laying next to your significant other.

I'd probably say something like "Well, if you want me to come to bed earlier, then give me a reason to" combined with a lewd grope. Sounds barbaric and perhaps like I'd be playing on emotional insecurities to try to get laid, but I guarantee that there's at least some sexual insecurities in the mix there. Seriously, you gotta at least let her know that snuggling up against her ass with a semi-wood is at least as compelling to you as video games.


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Edited by B Traven (10/22/24 02:40 PM)

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Re: Going to Bed Together when in a Relationship [Re: B Traven] * 1
    #28996561 -

Thanks for posting this, didn't realize this was a common struggle. I consider myself well adjusted, and have great relationship. My partner usually falls asleep on the couch within eye-shot and that's enough for her. I :cool: her everyday though, so we get max intimacy points.
OP, I would compromise, but if she can't compromise, I would leave. No way in hell you need to sleep with her every night; but maybe she needs you to? If so, I think you should think about general compatibility... would you end this relationship over this?

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Re: Going to Bed Together when in a Relationship [Re: Roflspammer]
    #28996605 -

This is a major reason I don't want a significant other.  Imagine having to accommodate their peccadillos and make stupid compromises.  What if they said they could only fall asleep with you balancing a python on your face? It's an exaggerated example but you get my point.  I don't want people and their weird quirks making demands on me.


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Everybody is welcome to email me.

Edited by Joh.Ke (10/23/24 03:34 AM)

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Re: Going to Bed Together when in a Relationship [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #28996608 -

Cyclohexylamine said:
Quote:
this is what i used to do.

id lay with my girl and then when she fell asleep id quietly go about my thing so that i wouldnt wake her...

i used to LOVE sitting here at the comp and turning around to see her sweet little face sound asleep on my bed...knowing that i could just walk over there and start kissing her and hold her ANY time i wanted...


Yeah best feeling in the world.
Especially on a winter night when its like snowing outside, and its warm inside and you just look over.


Your government wants to take that away from you.


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Everybody is welcome to email me.

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Community > Sexuality and Relationships
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