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How to best deal with projection?
    #25962837 -

Wiki - Psychological Projection

I would absolutely love to hear from anyone who has a lot of experience in dealing with this phenomenon, or who can perhaps suggest any good resources/reading materials that would help someone when confronted with this.

Have you dealt with it/experienced it? If so, what was being projected? In my case, it seems very much that attack is being projected onto me by someone who is extremely frequently attacking.

An absolute headfuck to deal with, that's for sure.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #25962850 -

Cheating and being lazy were the two biggest ones I'd dealt with. And "running away", avoiding problems.


Once you know what to look for you realize a lot of people project. I'd go so far as to say most people do. It's easier to spot traits of negative aspects in a person if you've personally experienced them.







Also have seen a lot of projections about cheating. Sometimes this is a conscious deflection, sometimes the person expects you to be as terrible as they are, and sometimes it's true projection.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25963426 -

Carl Jung's ideas of "the shadow" come to mind. I've read it long ago but basically says that you must embrace your dark side to avoid projecting it everywhere.

also related

:yinyang2:

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25963724 -

Projection is a coping mechanism for low low low low low low low self-esteem and self-confidence, imo.


Make you look worse, so they don't look as bad.


Someone treated them like dog shit and projected themselves all over them probably and the pattern of behavior continues.  IF the projections lead to anger and violence, I would walk away.  They need reprogramming at that point.

If it is projection in every day situations, they probably aren't even aware they are doing it and processing may be benefit you.

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25963830 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
Wiki - Psychological Projection

I would absolutely love to hear from anyone who has a lot of experience in dealing with this phenomenon, or who can perhaps suggest any good resources/reading materials that would help someone when confronted with this.

Have you dealt with it/experienced it? If so, what was being projected? In my case, it seems very much that attack is being projected onto me by someone who is extremely frequently attacking.

An absolute headfuck to deal with, that's for sure.



i suppose i find myself fortunate.  possibly it's because i don't spend much time with many people, and those that i do are generally aware of themselves and their words/actions.  most of us have gone through the same general line(s) of personal growth/development in regards to how we interact with others.  but i don't encounter people projecting upon me.  as well, i try to be aware of when i do it too. 


i'd say i do it most when i'm online (shroomery, specifically, P&S or politics) and the human connection is removed from the equation, especially the cues such as movement (eyes, hands, etc...) or vocal cues.

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 2
    #25964358 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
Wiki - Psychological Projection

I would absolutely love to hear from anyone who has a lot of experience in dealing with this phenomenon, or who can perhaps suggest any good resources/reading materials that would help someone when confronted with this.

Have you dealt with it/experienced it? If so, what was being projected? In my case, it seems very much that attack is being projected onto me by someone who is extremely frequently attacking.

An absolute headfuck to deal with, that's for sure.


No one is completely immune to projection. It isn't just something people w low self esteem do. Reading what Carl Jung writes about embracing the shadow side could certainly be helpful. Eckhart Tolle also touches on it, but both of them are more for personal development/awareness than offering solutions on dealing w those who project on you.

I've found the best thing to do when confronted by someone's projections is to simply say, "I don't think this is really about me" & refuse to engage. Let the other person have some time to think it over. Instinct is to get defensive, throw things back at the person but that will just make things worse. Projection has the ability to make someone feel damn crazy, so it's best to take some space when accused. Don't fall into the trap.

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Gr8tful]
    #25971851 -

I know all about projection.. you’ve been following my story JSB. I project too sometimes unknowingly, sometimes fully aware. It’s a fear based tactic to take the attention off yourself and push it onto whoever else. It’s part of the ego and should be brought to awareness in order to be dismissed.

My gf projected her insecurities on to me by saying I was cheating, when in reality it was her own self doing what she said I was. It’s a fucked thing to do, but some people (including myself sometimes) just don’t want to own up to their shit.


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TEKs I Like

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: MadHatter333] * 1
    #25976548 -

What's going on, JSB? 

People that do this to the extreme, in an unrelenting and purely unreasonable way, are of a low maturity level if they can't comprehend what's really happening.  Ime....

Do you think this person that this is in regards to is capable of understanding these concepts?


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This was an experiment.

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #25976591 -

CookieCrumbs said:
Cheating and being lazy were the two biggest ones I'd dealt with. And "running away", avoiding problems.


Once you know what to look for you realize a lot of people project. I'd go so far as to say most people do. It's easier to spot traits of negative aspects in a person if you've personally experienced them.

Also have seen a lot of projections about cheating. Sometimes this is a conscious deflection, sometimes the person expects you to be as terrible as they are, and sometimes it's true projection.


Were you the one cheating or the one being cheated on? Curious because of my situation.


--------------------

TEKs I Like

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: DoneKildatReason]
    #25977289 -

DoneKildatReason said:
What's going on, JSB? 

People that do this to the extreme, in an unrelenting and purely unreasonable way, are of a low maturity level if they can't comprehend what's really happening.  Ime....

Do you think this person that this is in regards to is capable of understanding these concepts?


Dealing with a female who can be extremely immature. She has a good heart, but will often push away or run away and then accuse me of those things. Will strop or argue or insult and then accuse me of those things. Etc.

She started attending therapy yesterday and has begun to accept/admit her issues, so I think my perseverance is paying off.

Fuck me it's bloody difficult at times though. The good side to all this is it has shown me how reactive I can be, so I have something to work on too.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25977833 -

There's a narcissist in my life who constantly prrojects.  Everything mentioned here is true to the core-

My tactic for projection is deflection, call it out (imo people have no idea) and give it back. Nothing is more draining than accepting and internalizing another's mess. Don't get sucked into that black hole!

Glad to hear she's in therapy, that should resolve in itself.


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From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #25977889 -

Oh nice!  The fact that she's in therapy is more than my kids mom would do. .... Damn I miss her.
Yes that's very good that she's at least willing to try something.  Very difficult indeed. That's cool you can recognize your own shortcomings in this too!  That's just as difficult to do sometimes as it is to deal with those of others.


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This was an experiment.

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Re: How to best deal with projection? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25979217 -

Projecting mostly comes from insecurities about the past and present experiences. Most common one is projecting that the other person is cheating on them cause "thats what guys/gals do" mentality.

Sometimes its the person projecting the behaviour is the one who has that behaviour. For example, a person projecting that the other person is angry all the time when in fact they are frequently angry themselves.

I believe its tied to low self-awareness and hypocritical-type behaviour as well as not wanting to deal with their own issues constructively.

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