Auto-SummaryThe author recently experienced a traumatic event involving three individuals, including themselves and their partner Sara. After consuming a substance and engaging in a sexual encounter, Sara degraded Nick, leading to a violent altercation where he was physically assaulted. Despite the emotional turmoil, the group decided to continue exploring their unconventional relationship. The author is torn between feelings of acceptance and the fear of potential consequences, including the possibility of legal repercussions. They are questioning whether this unconventional relationship is right for them, given their past beliefs and the drastic change in their life circumstances.
Okay, so, I haven't updated this in a while because I have been really depressed. It's taken me some time to process what has taken place. I couldn't decide if I wanted to talk about this or not. I have literally just been sitting in my apartment, lights off, blinds drawn, no TV or internet or anything, just spending every minute stressing about letting go of everything I have believed is right all my entire life.
I know it probably wasn't a good idea but the three of us all kept in contact. Nick and I actually hung out a couple times, just him and I, and I told him everything that I had realized by exploring this on DXM. He was really super cool about the whole thing and said that because I was important to Sara I was important to him, and he wanted to hang out and see if we could work through the anger I had towards him.
I know it sounds weird. It feels weird. But they are looking at this as the three of us are in a committed relationship, and they've chosen to stick by me while we work on my anger issues. Of course all of it needed to stay safe. He wasn't going to trust me to not pummel him until he had seen a lot of progress.
What we came up with was this. We would start with something that involved no hitting of any sort. Since that's where things really went wrong in the first place this made a lot of sense to me. I really wanted to do this because of my feelings for Sara. We started again with dinner like we had before and this time Sara was in between us. She put her hands on the table and her ass in my face and told Nick that I was going to fuck her and he was going to watch so he could learn how to please her because he was pathetic. He said no way he would sit still for this and this time she smacked him. She hauled off and backhanded him so hard I cringed. I started freaking out a little, like a panic attack, and my hands were cold and sweaty and stuff, but I held it together and had time to get my breathing under control while Sara tied him to the ottoman. The whole time she was telling him horrible shit about how pathetic he was in bed and stuff and he seemed to be loving it.
Things went really good for a couple of hours and it was amazing. I came in her and she got on all fours and made him lick it out of her while she sucked my dick and all sorts of porn movie sex shit. I mean, it was the kind of shit you see in porn, literally, and my mind was blown. We were all rolling hard and shit was great and just out of control and I wound up basically fucking Nick in the ass more or less against his will.
What happened was Sara had the chair pulled right up to the ottoman and was having Nick go down on her while I watched. She was degrading him and looking me right in the eyes. It was hot as fuck and I am standing there behind Nick jerking off for Sara and she's eating it up. She wraps her legs around his head and is holding his face into her pussy and she starts looking up at me and just snarling "fuck him. I want to watch my man get fucked in the ass" and shit. I mean, just over and over and over and before I knew it I'm fucking him in the ass, and he's squirming and fighting and I keep looking up at Sara and she's egging it on and saying stuff to him like he's her cock whore and she knows he loves being fucked in the ass and all this. I thought this was all part of their game. Turns out it was not.
I'll skip the rest of the details but basically when we are done he's literally crying and when she unties him he stands up and bitch slaps her so hard she takes a knee and screams "YOU FUCKING BITCH" at her and runs upstairs naked and locks himself in their bedroom and threatens to call the cops on her and me for raping him. All this other shit happens too but basically I freak the fuck out and leave and have no idea if I'm going to jail or what the fuck happened.
I talk to Sara the next day and she tells me everything, that none of this was planned out with him ahead of time and everything is cool now. Like, so cool that Nick has gotten over "his whole homophobia thing" as she put it and that he says if it turns her on that much he'll take it up the ass from dudes. And they want me to come over that night. I didn't do it, because in addition to being worried about going to jail for the rest of my natural life I'm flipping out because I had sex with a dude for the first time ever and I was totally not OK with this just like a week ago, and I'm not even sure how that wound up happening or how I feel about it.
They both blew my phone up all weekend and I feel like I have to give them some sort of answer soon because they won't drop it. Even fucking Nick is calling me now saying shit like they consider me part of their marriage, like all three of us are married, and there's no shame in he and I fucking because we're bound to each other through Sara so it isn't even actually gay. I just don't know what the fuck to do. I mean, yeah, the smart answer is get far the fuck away from these nut jobs as fast as I can but the truth is, I'm just as fucked up as those two are and I'm asking myself if I might be missing out on the one chance I might have in life to have a meaningful relationship with a person or people who accept that I'm not perfect. This isn't anything like the type of relationships I grew up thinking were normal but who fucking cares? Aren't we past that social inhibition shit in the 21st century? If I want to be part of a three person marriage isn't that my right to choose that? I mean, what logical argument is there that this is "wrong?"
It's just so different than where I was a month ago my head is spinning. Mind = blown. I feel like my life has been upended and I can't even think clearly. I just need this decision to be over however it turns out.
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JacksonMetaller 
Dr.Dankhead 
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I had that sig years ago when i first signed up. It doesn't show on my screen anymore, but that's funny to hear it's still there. Anyways, i've posted my reasonings, and stuck to defending one thing which is the OP as a person against overly harsh criticism, not his actions. I don't condone beating people and never did. If you can't grasp that it's not my fault. Anyways, there is one point you've made that I do agree on... That arguing with you is pointless. So that's all I have on the matter.
**need a check up?**
**im a Doctor**
Then Nick is like 
come here little boy...lol.
