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Not sure how to handle this situation
    #21102269 -

So, for about two months now, I've had this FWB situation with a lady from work. She's engaged but lives 1000 miles from her fiancé, and both he and she have this arrangement. They are each allowed to find one person to bang since they are so far apart.

It's been cool, she's really hot and good in bed, and we've been having fun with it. She's kinky as fuck, wanting to try new stuff all the time and laughing about "Do you think I should do THIS on my honeymoon?" sort of jokes. She's been perfectly clear that it won't continue once she's married, that this is just something fun she's getting out of her system before she devotes her life to being a good wife.

The wedding is getting closer, and the level of kinkiness has been at an all-time high and I said something to her last night like "Gee I sure will miss this when you're married." She kind of acted funny for a second and then said that maybe we could keep doing this even after she is married. I asked if her fiancé was going to keep banging whoever, was this going to be an open marriage or what, and she said well not exactly.

I didn't go into any more detail with her about this yet. I needed some time to process all this so I just grinned at her and started doing stuff to her again. I'm not sure what she means by "not exactly" - I get the feeling that she doesn't expect that he will be faithful to her, and doesn't plan to be faithful to him, but that they aren't going to be out in the open about all that.

If they were being upfront with each other about it being open I'd be fine with that. This situation is just weird though. It's like, "we both know we are going to cheat but we won't talk about it". It sounds like a mess but at the same time I would hate to give up the sex if her husband isn't being faithful to her anyway, and she's just going to wind up banging some other guy anyway... I mean, what's the point, at that point?

Looking for other perspectives. Pros/Cons?

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21102282 -

Ride 'er 'til the end, my friend.

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. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21102331 -

.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21104314 -

Find out what the fuck "not exactly" means.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #21104990 -

Anonymous said:
marriage, :burke:

Why bother?


Taxes and children credit and such

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #21105426 -

You could also interpret her comment as he being faithful and her cheating. That's what I got from it. Sounds like you want to derail their marriage when you make comments to her like those. Anyway, have fun


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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Black_Sunset] * 3
    #21105443 -

have you actually talked with this fiance?.... I have a feeling he isn't banging anyone else....:shrug:


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Peace Pot Micro-Dot God Loves You High or Not!!!
In order to grow old and wise, you must once have been young and dumb!

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #3] * 1
    #21110047 -

Anonymous said:
Find out what the fuck "not exactly" means.


This sounded like a good idea so I asked her about it at work today. I guess now the answer made it even more confusing.  Well not confusing. It freaks me out a little.

She wants me to meet her fiancé and if we get along okay, I guess I'm supposed to fuck her while he watches. From the threads here I see that a lot of guys apparently think it would be hot to watch their girlfriends fuck a guy, but man, what if she was your wife? Wouldn't that make it different?

She said he's into this sort of thing. IF he agrees to it, meaning I'm his type or whatever, I'd come over for dinner or some shit and afterwards, I'm supposed to look at him and degrade him and tell him I'm going to fuck his wife. I'm supposed to do this in front of her, and she'll look at him and ask him to defend her honor, and I'm supposed to degrade him some more and start molesting her. At some point he'll object and I'm supposed to slap his face and tie him up. Then I'd fuck her right in front of him and she'd spend the whole time looking at him and telling him how much better I was than him. After I come in her he'd suck my cum out of her.

I'm a flaming heterosexual. I'm homophobically heterosexual, and this makes me uncomfortable on so many levels. First of all there's the fact that touching or not, I'd be having a MFM three way which is awkward for me in the first place. But then, the end, I guess I'm supposed to hold him by the hair and shove his face into her and degrade him and call him fag and stuff while he sucks my load out of her. I don't know about that.

No offense to any gay guys here, I'm not judging. Just not my thing.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #1] * 4
    #21110136 -

You are an objectively bad human being if you do this.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #21112772 -

That's what I'd consider a standard cuckolding scenario and has usually nothing to do with homosexuality.
Apparently quite a few guys are into that.
It's about the humiliation of the beta male by the alpha male, they get off on the degradation.

So it's not a question of your sexual orientation but of your dominance. They'd probably agree on no male on male touching as this is not the central aspect of that kink.

I guess it takes some mildly sadistic tendencies to do shit like that, but I wouldn't see any problem if it's fun for all involved.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21113363 -

OP, to each is their own, but do you really think this could be a good idea or benevolent in any way? I mean, slapping him in the face?! It sounds like they just want you to indulge their worst nightmare, which is secretly their most fetishized dream.

If you aren't 100% absolutely into this, don't do it.

Maybe she was just trying to scare you away :shrug:

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Chakra Shock]
    #21115345 -

OP.... I see a DP in your friends future.:wink:


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Chakra Shock]
    #21115359 -

Chakra Shock said:
Maybe she was just trying to scare you away :shrug:


I strongly considered this possibility. I don't think that's the case though. I told her today that I wasn't sure that was something I could be down with - I mean, we're being kinky as fuck right now, but in a fun, not dark kind of way. This.... is dark. Intriguing but dark.

Anyway when I told her I wasn't sure she said why don't I just come over for dinner some night this week and meet him before I make any decisions. His classes wrapped up in December, so he is moving back here this week. I'm going over tonight to knock the bottom out of it once or twice more because I am pretty sure that once he gets moved in, there will be no more fun times with her. At least not her and me alone.

Is there anybody here who is into this cuckholding shit that can help me learn more about this? Etiquette and that sort of stuff? I mean, how am I supposed to learn where the lines are if I decide to go through with this?

I'm still weirded out about another guy having my cum in his mouth even if he isn't mouthing the tap, so to speak. It's just weird.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21115439 -

Anonymous said:
I'm a flaming heterosexual.


How boring :tongue:

But in all seriousness man, just do what makes you comfortable. I don't see you haven't much to lose in this situation. There is really nothing "gay" about it if that's what you're worried about. Other than him eating your cum, but it's not like you're engaging that. Idk man, just listen to your penis. I bet your penis has a lot of wisdom you're holding back from here.

Anyways there is no etiquette for this beyond asking what's acceptable in this particular instance of this particular relationship. And again... with the cum thing... I understand somethings are weird... but i turned into a pansexual from challenging those "weird" things in my mind. You might not and that's acceptable, but consider how much of this might just be anxiety of perception. Ie you're worried about an image you perceive to be you that is totally 100% not gay and everything about you rides on that fact. Are you sure you're absolutely not into it? Or are you afraid to discover this isn't your identity? I'm only bringing this up because your involvement in the "gay" stuff is so minimal it's hardly worth mentioning. It's like some homeless man collecting your cum rags out of the trash. The dudes not touching on you. The dudes not interested in you. You ejaculated some molecules back into the environment. They are no longer yours, and some dude ate them. Doesn't sound that gay on your part to me. You're going to be fucking his wife. That's as  :highfive: as it gets

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21115767 -

Drop it while its hot man. Make sure toleave her before she leaves you so she stuck with the husband she probably doesn't want anyway because if she was really in love him and him only she wouldn't be fucking your brains out.


Bang her one good last time and just be like " I cant do this anymore" hope your marriage works out great.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: jboredone]
    #21116132 -

Anonymous said:
She's been perfectly clear that it won't continue once she's married, that this is just something fun she's getting out of her system before she devotes her life to being a good wife.

She said that maybe we could keep doing this even after she is married. I asked if her fiancé was going to keep banging whoever, was this going to be an open marriage or what, and she said well not exactly.


LOL this marriage is totally doomed to fail. She's totally a slut and is gonna cheat on her husband so much. I hope he'll enjoy raising kids that aren't even his. :rolleyes:

jboredone said:
have you actually talked with this fiance?.... I have a feeling he isn't banging anyone else....:shrug:


:rofl: Yeah I think Jbore is right, this bitch is straight cheating on her fiance.

Edited by gref (01/13/15 06:54 PM)

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: gref]
    #21118201 -

Well I just got back and sure enough, she told me that her fiancée will be back in town tomorrow, so she probably won't be able to have me come back to her place anymore. I said "So this is it then," and she said "Well um, does that mean you don't even wanna meet {fiancée}?"

I asked a lot of questions.

Have they done this before?
Yes. In fact she was with someone else when she met her fiancée, and she met him in a 3-way. When her old BF dumped her, she started dating this guy and fell in love.

Would there be any male on male contact?
Her reply made me suspicious... "Not if you're not OK with that." Yeah, but he'd like for there to be. Hrm.

This isn't damaging to their relationship in any way?
She feels that there is no strong correlation between emotional love and physical sex. She has sex with fiancé because she loves him; she has sex with other guys because she loves sex.

Is he really aware you're doing this and is he really fucking someone else, too?
She showed me some pics he sent her. Apparently, she gets off on watching him fuck chicks too. He's been sending her pics and videos of him and the FWB he has... and she really, really got excited watching them. In fact she attacked me about a minute into proving to me he is OK with all this.

OK so you are going to have an open marriage then?
No. They are not going to fuck around with other people after marriage UNLESS the spouse is in on it too. She considers this not to be open because if it was truly open, either of them could do whatever with whomever, but that's not the case. She said "Make no mistake about this, I love him and I don't love you. We're fucking because you're better than a vibrator and I'm better than a fleshlight. But I won't die for you." OK then.

How do I know I'm not crossing a line? How far is too far?
There will be safe words. Well, a safe word for "Stop, too far" and a different one for "I'm reaching my limit." She said he should be bleeding from the nose after I backhand him, so it is unlikely that I'll get to the "too far" word. Really. Again, hrm.


I was probably not going through with this up till the point that she jumped me while showing me the vids of him fucking some chick. We've been having great sex anyway but DAMN she was a FUCKING ANIMAL after that. It was like she was trying to get revenge on him for fucking her, and then it hit me.... that's why they dig this.

Freaky ass revenge sex!

She will probably wind up watching him fuck some other chick too. Then, when it's her turn, she'll get the thrill of watching him watch her as she gets revenge on him for fucking the other chick. It finally dawned on me that all this is pretty fucking hot if you look at it that way.

So, I still have some reservations about this, but I'm kind of getting into it now too. I agreed to have dinner with them this week, anyway. No harm in pursuing this a little longer.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21118445 -

lol wow!  So you don't desire love or a soul mate type person for yourself?

Just in it for the sex?

Pretty sure this girl just likes to fuck two guys at the same time. And this is defiantly where this is leading.:lol:

I was never really into the two guys one girl thing:shrug: But I have had a cheating relationship where the girl was still sleeping with someone else. So I can relate.

It was honestly relieving in a way because I didn't have to be the boyfriend. I was just a sex toy. But my feelings eventually got caught up in the mix.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #21118830 -

Godspeed anon #1, I salute thee.

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Re: Not sure how to handle this situation [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #21123215 -

Anonymous said:
lol wow!  So you don't desire love or a soul mate type person for yourself?

Just in it for the sex?



In this case, I'm just in it for the sex, and sure, I'd love to meet a nice girl and fall in love and all that. I've been trying to do that very thing, I just haven't yet.

So should I not have sex since I'm not in love?

That's like a man starving to death refusing to eat a hamburger unless it comes with fries!

Speaking of food I'm having dinner there tomorrow and meeting the fiancé. Still haven't decided if I'm doing this or not, but, I see no harm in having dinner.

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