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Girlfriend Abused As A Child (change in title)
    #19569730 -

Alright I'm really shocked and disturbed right now.
My girlfriend, who is one of the sweetest girls I ever met, was raped or molested when she was 10 or 11.
Last night she told me that. She said the memory came back to her and she was extremely sad. I think being very tired triggered the memory and it was hard for her to escape it. She went to bed and woke up much cheerier in the morning.
I'm there for her support. Is there much I can do besides being a loving and positive boyfriend to help her heal from the past?

Edited by Anonymous (02/23/14 12:27 PM)

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #19570122 -

I think that every person that goes through what your girlfriend went through handles it differently and needs different things form those people around them. While it was a horrible thing that happened, some people can effectively suppress this, knowing that they are not to blame and the person that did it, is a rotten piece of shit. Other people however, get locked into this cycle of guilt, remorse and fear that can absolutely ruin their lives despite the best efforts of all those around them to be helpful and supportive. If it seems like there is a significant potential for this to adversely effect your girlfriend I think a good place to start would be to suggest that she seek out professional help (counseling). It's also important to note, that if your relationship becomes serious with this girl, and she struggles with these traumatic events, these struggles become yours as well. If she is the right girl for you, this won't matter. Best of luck to her and you both.


--------------------
"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

"The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante


:kratom:

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: pslyke]
    #19570171 -

Thanks so much for the advice.
I believe it really brings her down about once a week. When I'm around her usually she is very happy. I'll do my best and I think we can overcome this for the most part.
She's the one. I know she is. I've never met anyone so caring and compatible for me.
..
Its such a shame this world has such a dark side to it.

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19570216 -

My sister went through the same thing, it completely destroyed her mentally. The most you can do is be there for her and if it starts to become an issue for her, recomend therapy. Just make sure she knows she's not alone.

Edit: I say "start to become and issue" that probably isn't the right choice of words. It's obviously an issue already. I meant if it gets her down on a regular basis.


--------------------
:leaf:

Edited by ChasingBliss (02/15/14 02:24 PM)

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19570238 -

Anonymous said:
Thanks so much for the advice.
I believe it really brings her down about once a week. When I'm around her usually she is very happy. I'll do my best and I think we can overcome this for the most part.
She's the one. I know she is. I've never met anyone so caring and compatible for me.
..
Its such a shame this world has such a dark side to it.


Unfortunately  know of way too many females that this has happened to. I can't help but to feel extreme sadness for their plight. :feelsbadman:

Personally I think the guys that commit these horrible acts should be castrated


--------------------
The more you know, the less you need.
May as well be here we are as where we are.


                               
                  <img src="https://files.shroomery.org/smileys/imagine.gif" alt=":imagine:" title=":imagine:"/>                                   

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Noble]
    #19570866 -

I was molested at the age of 3. If she's comfortable, she will talk to you about it. Chances are, making her feel different or talking to her about it will make her uncomfortable. I'm a guy though so it could be different. Shes happy with you, I can assure that. If she ever wants to talk about it more, get her on some shrooms and listen, don't ask. The time I did some shrooms with my girlfriend, the best time on shrooms, I was very open about it and I haven't been the same since, in the best ways. You're a good dude, and I appreciate that. Keep doing what you're doing, because you're doing the right thing. Even if it's nothing.

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #19571826 -

I have to say that honestly, talking about a person being molested while they're high on mushrooms, is possible one of the worst ideas I have ever heard of. Absolutely do not do that, OP. Just awful, awful advice. Horrendous.


--------------------
R.I.P Rod Beck

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: robbyberto]
    #19571955 -

I said to do some shrooms with her and let her talk. You're suggesting that he never does shrooms with his girlfriend ever in his life. People use psychedelics for healing purposes all the time. You know what I think is horrible advice? Your's, because you didn't think about it. Why? Because it might be a bad trip? Oh no, they might grow closer and have a life changing experience.

If you don't know about the subject, you should promptly fuck off with telling me what advice of mine is valid.

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #19571985 -

I am saying even if she bring it up while tripping he should change the subject. Yes, bad trips, people should try to avoid them. Crazy stuff.


--------------------
R.I.P Rod Beck

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #19571995 -

She would flip out on shrooms.
Shes a very fragile creature.
Anyways try to play nice guys, no need for more bad vibes in this thread.

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19572106 -

She's fragile so that's a good reason for herself to avoid dealing with her issues? A bad trip is the end of the world? :rolleyes:

Do what you want. You wanted advice, and you got it from the right person. Take it or leave it.

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19572111 -

Dude I hate to say this, and it's probably gonna bring more bad vibes, but you need to find a new girlfriend. I know that you care about her and I really don't know any easy way to do it, but you don't want to spend the rest of you're life with a "fragile" person.

Honestly it's hard for me to say something like that because I've been in the same situation, but for real man, there's a lot of women out there. In ten years, you're not going to feel like taking care of a woman that's been damaged by rape and molestation.

Unless she's an extremely upbeat person with no other issues at all, I don't know any other way to say it. You're never going to fix her. Move on. Sorry:frown:

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Big_Dave]
    #19572115 -

Just about all the girls I've talked to say they've been raped I greet them to a blank stare but if it's the truth I say comfort her with your arms wrapped around her. Speak on it, talk about it get it out in the air. Things like this are a bridge for better relations.

Edited by Fragment (02/15/14 09:50 PM)

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #19572123 -

Anonymous said:
She's fragile so that's a good reason for herself to avoid dealing with her issues? A bad trip is the end of the world? :rolleyes:

Do what you want. You wanted advice, and you got it from the right person. Take it or leave it.


:stonedjerk:


--------------------
R.I.P Rod Beck

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Big_Dave]
    #19574103 -

Lol I'm not leaving her. This is part of her life but 95% of the time she is upbeat. Shes one of the most pleasant girls I've ever spent time with.
..
I guess I shouldn't expect too much from the replies. Its the shroomery after all :rolleyes:

Edited by Anonymous (02/16/14 10:00 AM)

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19574107 -

I think that I gave you very sound advice. She should be sober when talking about this considering that her memory of it is not totally clear.


--------------------
R.I.P Rod Beck

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Fragment]
    #19574114 -

Fragment I do comfort her as much as possible. :thumbup:
I'll let her talk about it when she feels the time is right. These things take patience.

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: robbyberto]
    #19574119 -

What advice did you give?

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: pslyke]
    #19574124 -

pslyke said:
I think that every person that goes through what your girlfriend went through handles it differently and needs different things form those people around them. While it was a horrible thing that happened, some people can effectively suppress this, knowing that they are not to blame and the person that did it, is a rotten piece of shit. Other people however, get locked into this cycle of guilt, remorse and fear that can absolutely ruin their lives despite the best efforts of all those around them to be helpful and supportive. If it seems like there is a significant potential for this to adversely effect your girlfriend I think a good place to start would be to suggest that she seek out professional help (counseling). It's also important to note, that if your relationship becomes serious with this girl, and she struggles with these traumatic events, these struggles become yours as well. If she is the right girl for you, this won't matter. Best of luck to her and you both.


Thanks so much for this post:hug:

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Re: Girlfriend Molested/Raped as a Child [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19574139 -

Anonymous said:
Fragment I do comfort her as much as possible. :thumbup:
I'll let her talk about it when she feels the time is right. These things take patience.


Sounds good to me make sure you update the thread.

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