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Is Cheating Moral?
    #19513250 -

I recently just broke up with a girl whom I've been dating for over 2 and half years. Yes, as you can tell by the title, I've cheated on her before...and not just once :smirk:  Is it bad that I don't feel guilty for never telling her, even if we're not together anymore?

This is the way I think of it....my philosophy teacher had this idea of the "moral/happy scale", where 0 would be the unhappy side and 10 being the happiest possible.  Since I got what I wanted from another girl's sex (causing me and my "mistress" to be happy) and I never told my (ex) gf about it (happy at the time), wouldn't this be technically be considered moral?  Me getting a sexual pleasure and my gf never knowing would result in a 10 on the happy scale for everybody in the end...


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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App] * 1
    #19513291 -

events of the present effect the present of the future. :wizard: Your ex may have been happy when you cheated on her, but if that would be a big deal to her, when she finds out, will she be happy? Expand on your timescales, and you will see the bigger pictures.

Therefore, no it was not a morale thing to "cheat"... because your girlfriend and you had already decided that you wouldn't explore other partners sexually... otherwise you wouldn't be calling it cheating.

If your relationship had been founded on different principles or understandings, then it wouldn't be immoral... i've "cheated" before too and i had to own up to it as being a shitty thing to do to someone, but after a while she forgave me and I have forgiven myself. Just control your desires next time, there's a lesson to learn here.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App] * 1
    #19513311 -

D-App said:
I recently just broke up with a girl whom I've been dating for over 2 and half years. Yes, as you can tell by the title, I've cheated on her before...and not just once :smirk:  Is it bad that I don't feel guilty for never telling her, even if we're not together anymore?

This is the way I think of it....my philosophy teacher had this idea of the "moral/happy scale", where 0 would be the unhappy side and 10 being the happiest possible.  Since I got what I wanted from another girl's sex (causing me and my "mistress" to be happy) and I never told my (ex) gf about it (happy at the time), wouldn't this be technically be considered moral?  Me getting a sexual pleasure and my gf never knowing would result in a 10 on the happy scale for everybody in the end...


Uhhh... no. Just because you derived pleasure from it doesn't make it moral. That is like saying that me beating the shit out of a newborn baby is moral, because it makes me feel good when I'm having a bad day.

There's nothing wrong or immoral about having tons of sex with other people, however what YOU did was immoral. In the future, do not play with other people's emotions if you have no intent on being faithful to them or settling down with them. You need to make your intentions clear from the very beginning, if that's what you want.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19513326 -

Beating the shit out of a baby is nowhere comparable to this situation...the baby would definitely be on the low end of the scale. Since my gf never knew, and I got what I wanted from another girl, we were ALL on the high end of the "moral" scale.


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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App]
    #19513337 -

D-App said:
Beating the shit out of a baby is nowhere comparable to this situation...the baby would definitely be on the low end of the scale. Since my gf never knew, and I got what I wanted from another girl, we were ALL on the high end of the "moral" scale.


Um...... no. If I steal money from somebody's bank account, and they don't realize I ever stole money from their bank account, this does not make it "moral."

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19513369 -

How can you not realize there is missing money in your bank account?


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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App]
    #19513406 -

D-App said:
How can you not realize there is missing money in your bank account?


Tons of people who make lots of money don't realize it. If somebody has tens of thousands of dollars in the bank account and I only steal a couple hundred, there's a pretty good chance they might not notice.

My best friend has rich parents, he stole 7 grand from their bank account to buy crack with it, and they didn't even notice. Doesnt make it moral by any means.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Crystal G] * 2
    #19513418 -

You might be a psychopath OP.  I don't know how you can possibly rationalize your actions the way you are.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App] * 1
    #19513548 -

Being a part of a mutual commitment to only have intimate relations with one person, and then going on and breaking that commitment, would be like, not moral.


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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #19513647 -

Fuck you guys are bad at analogies.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: EdibleStereos]
    #19513674 -

EdibleStereos said:
Fuck you guys are bad at analogies.


Fuck off, why don't you come up with a better one? I used the baby and bank account analogies because he mentioned FEELING GOOD and THE LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AMONG THE VICTIM to justify his actions.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App]
    #19513677 -

OP, I do not consider it moral to be having sex behind your partners back. There are plenty of ways to hurt your partner beyond them happening to find out about it. I think a big reason beyond morality would be passing an STD to your partner that you caught having sex with another woman. And the kind of woman willing to sleep with another girls boyfriend/husband is the type of girl who would have an STD, and even lie about not having one.

Also you have to ask yourself, How would I feel knowing she was cheating on me? I knew some people who would tell me they screwed around on their wives and said the same thing how its ok cause theyll never know. When I asked them this question they were like, "Fuck that! I would leave that bitch if i knew she was cheating on me."  So is that a double standard for you OP? Or would you be OK knowing your girl was fucking other dudes while you were at work or something. And if you were ok with it, why not have that agreement from the beginning that this was an open relationship.

Communication man. Ive been in a relationship for like 2 and a half years. I cant think of a single lie ive told her, and I am not worried that she would lie to me. We both have an agreement that we will tell each other if we do end up sleeping with someone else. That helps us understand as a couple that things can happen, and if they do, well at the very least be upfront about it so the other can make a decision if they want to continue in the relationship.


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Mickalopagus]
    #19513689 -

Yeah just because they don't know it happened doesn't make it moral.

You and your teacher have an idiotic idea of morality.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Kthoolhu]
    #19513762 -

Well, like I said, we're not together anymore so the karma kinda took its tool there. I know I don't deserve her after doing that, but I really can't take any relationships seriously. My mentality towards love is that it is nothing but a flaw (except for loving your family of course). I'm 20 years old, I'm not married, I'm gonna do whatever makes me happy in the long run.  I think the problem is that I'm young and I'm horny as shit...


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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App]
    #19513776 -

D-App said:
Well, like I said, we're not together anymore so the karma kinda took its tool there. I know I don't deserve her after doing that, but I really can't take any relationships seriously. My mentality towards love is that it is nothing but a flaw (except for loving your family of course). I'm 20 years old, I'm not married, I'm gonna do whatever makes me happy in the long run.  I think the problem is that I'm young and I'm horny as shit...


That is perfectly fine to be like that, just don't string somebody along and make false promises you are never going to keep. If you want to have fun stay single and have all the fun that you want. You are just at the perfect age to be sleeping around like a ho and nobody will judge you or think twice of it.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: D-App] * 1
    #19513895 -

D-App said:
I recently just broke up with a girl whom I've been dating for over 2 and half years. Yes, as you can tell by the title, I've cheated on her before...and not just once :smirk:  Is it bad that I don't feel guilty for never telling her, even if we're not together anymore?

This is the way I think of it....my philosophy teacher had this idea of the "moral/happy scale", where 0 would be the unhappy side and 10 being the happiest possible.  Since I got what I wanted from another girl's sex (causing me and my "mistress" to be happy) and I never told my (ex) gf about it (happy at the time), wouldn't this be technically be considered moral?  Me getting a sexual pleasure and my gf never knowing would result in a 10 on the happy scale for everybody in the end...


You're trying to use a 14 year old boy's version of consequentialism to justify what you did. I assume it's too obvious to point out that if you start gauging all of your moral decisions on consequentialism, you can justify literaly anything. If the holocaust had succeeded in its goal of eradicating the Jews, and we were to know that the total amount of future violence and strife involving Jewish people would eventually mount up to more suffering than occured in the holocaust, then the holocaust was morally justifiable by your conceptions.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #19514523 -

If you can't restrain your self then you shouldn't commit to a monogamous relationship. If you're honest about your intentions of no desire to be in a serious relationship, it won't turn of as many women as you think from sex.
It's jerks like you who give women emotional baggage that future men will have to help them overcome.

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #19514537 -

Anonymous said:
If you can't restrain your self then you shouldn't commit to a monogamous relationship. If you're honest about your intentions of no desire to be in a serious relationship, it won't turn of as many women as you think from sex.


Exactly. There's nothing wrong with being in a polyamorous or "swinger" type relationship, as long as your partner knows about it and consents to it beforehand. A lot more people get turned on by that idea than you would expect or think. You're just 20 years old OP, and just barely an adult, so you don't realize how much diversity and sexual freedom adult relationships can potentially have.

So, your philosophy teacher talks about what constitutes morality. Well, I would personally make this argument for being in an "open" or polyamorous or polysexual relationship, and why it is still a moral act (as opposed to cheating), even though virtually you are committing the exact same act. The difference is that with cheating, your partner has no involvement or knowledge or does not consent to it.

That is the moral difference between being in an "open relationship," and simply being unfaithful.

I mean saying that it's moral simply because the person doesn't know about it doesn't make it moral by any means. If somebody drugs you, and you pass out, and they anally rape you while you are passed out, and you wake up not realizing you were raped, does that make their acts moral? :freshwtf: If I steal money from somebody's bank account, and they don't ever realize I withdrew money from their account, does that make my actions moral?

You asked a specific question, which is whether cheating is MORAL or not. No, cheating is many things, but one thing it is definitely NOT is moral or ethical.

Quote:
It's jerks like you who give women emotional baggage that future men will have to help them overcome.


+1

Edited by Crystal G (02/03/14 05:32 AM)

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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19514694 -

Cheating will cause emotional distress only if your partner finds out.

If you can ensure this won't happen, and if you practice safer sex then yes, cheating is moral.


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Re: Is Cheating Moral? [Re: sukhavati12]
    #19514706 -

sukhavati12 said:
Cheating will cause emotional distress only if your partner finds out.

If you can ensure this won't happen, and if you practice safer sex then yes, cheating is moral.


So if I steal money from somebody's bank account and they never realize that I withdrew money from their account, that is moral?
If I drug somebody and butt-rape them while they are unconscious, and they don't ever wake up and realize that I raped them in their sleep, that is moral?

Level 50 Mushroom Shaman :lol::flowstone:

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