To be honest, you sound like a hope filled type of person. as long as you survive, keep living it up, and enjoy life while you still can. the majority of people and maybe you yourself seems to know how to stay confident and strong , ready for what the future holds.
If you fall prey to fatal symptoms that death holds, then enjoy every moment like it may be your last. you have the ability to want to live, yet are comfortable with death. what can stop you from happiness?
I've been in many gun point situations and dangerous and deadly altercations. ive even got hit by a car on my bike , while crossing the street, he was exiting out the highway, and was going 60mph, and didnt hit break . just a good old hit and run that left permanent scars, yet no death. I want death. because i cannot understand life, I cannot understand happiness. all I know is misery. so, hope this advice was a bit helpful
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