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sexual awkwardity.
    #12876361 -

the other day me and my girl (with whom I haven't been for that long) were just fooling around, and she let me finger her. After this, she undid my belt and started giving me a handjob.

My enthrallment quickly turned to terror though, when I realised she sucked at it. Big time. She pulled WAY to hard, and only touched the shaft of my penis, which as you may know isnt very sensitive at all. Slowly but surely my penis turned limp in her hand. The thing is; we were doing it all in silence, as her friends were sleeping really close by, about a meter away.

So I couldn't exactly tell her the limpness was her fault for sucking at giving handjobs; so she probably thinks I have an erectile disorder or something! All in all quite the awkward situation, and not really something I can bring up later in conversation;

remember that handjob you gave me the other day, when my dick turned limp? That was your vault, for sucking at giving handjobs.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12876374 -

you need to get your back hand on then tell her to get some practice on the mail man or something till she does it right!!! lol. na seriously just stick it in her vagina

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12876377 -

give her a break Liberace, she isn't going to be as good at it as you are. Tell her, or better yet, show her how to do it and she will be doing it like a pro in no time

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #12876380 -

Yeah imma just dshsb to proof my point.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12876472 -

Are you not comfortable enough with your relationship to say a simple 'it doesn't feel good this way, try this instead'?

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #12876488 -

Anonymous #4 said:
Are you not comfortable enough with your relationship to say a simple 'it doesn't feel good this way, try this instead'?



read my post fool, we couldnt really talk about it out loud, her friends were sitting a metre away listening to music whilst we were doing our business unnoticed by them under a blanket. it was quite cosy.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12876497 -

Read your post, was talking about next time you get a handjob. And it is something you can bring up in later conversation just not in the context of getting a goddamn coffee at starbucks or anything

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #12876500 -

Anonymous #4 said:
Read your post, was talking about next time you get a handjob. And it is something you can bring up in later conversation just not in the context of getting a goddamn coffee at starbucks or anything



why must the conversational tone on the shroomery always be so snidey and unpleasant?

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12876512 -

My bad, been pretty tired since I stayed up all night and kind of cranky so I went on the anonymous board where it says if your feelings were easily hurt, don't post (not implying that yours were.) I'll leave now, sorry if I derailed your thread too much. Like Rachel in The Dark Knight said, if you lose your faith in me, keep your faith in people

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12877204 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Anonymous #4 said:
Read your post, was talking about next time you get a handjob. And it is something you can bring up in later conversation just not in the context of getting a goddamn coffee at starbucks or anything



why must the conversational tone on the shroomery always be so snidey and unpleasant?



thats because number 4 has a pole up his ass.
Anyways, just dshsb like u said earlier to prove urself.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12877727 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Anonymous #4 said:
Are you not comfortable enough with your relationship to say a simple 'it doesn't feel good this way, try this instead'?



read my post fool, we couldnt really talk about it out loud, her friends were sitting a metre away listening to music whilst we were doing our business unnoticed by them under a blanket. it was quite cosy.




FUCKING WHISPER
"NOT SO HARD"

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU 15 JESUS CHRIST GET OFF THIS FUCKING SITE NOW


ps:  yeah you are fucking 15, get off this fucking site now, i'm going to call your mother and have words about what you and that floozy have been up to

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12881830 -

I remember onetime a girl tried to give me one and she squeezed my shaft like a gorilla reaching for a banana. It was not the least bit pleasurable.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #12884104 -

Anonymous #7 said:
I remember onetime a girl tried to give me one and she squeezed my shaft like a gorilla reaching for a banana. It was not the least bit pleasurable.



did you not tell her about?

When it happened to me I was also a little stoned, and didn't want to offender.
I'm a fool like that when I'm stoned sometimes.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #12884144 -

Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU 15 JESUS CHRIST GET OFF THIS FUCKING SITE NOW


ps:  yeah you are fucking 15, get off this fucking site now, i'm going to call your mother and have words about what you and that floozy have been up to



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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #12884174 -

Anonymous #6 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU 15 JESUS CHRIST GET OFF THIS FUCKING SITE NOW


ps:  yeah you are fucking 15, get off this fucking site now, i'm going to call your mother and have words about what you and that floozy have been up to





anonymous gangstas!

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12884185 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Anonymous #6 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU 15 JESUS CHRIST GET OFF THIS FUCKING SITE NOW


ps:  yeah you are fucking 15, get off this fucking site now, i'm going to call your mother and have words about what you and that floozy have been up to





anonymous gangstas!



damn right mayng

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #12884193 -

Anonymous #8 said:
Anonymous #1 said:
Anonymous #6 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU 15 JESUS CHRIST GET OFF THIS FUCKING SITE NOW


ps:  yeah you are fucking 15, get off this fucking site now, i'm going to call your mother and have words about what you and that floozy have been up to





anonymous gangstas!



damn right mayng



They be flabbin them lips but they aint sayin anythang.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12884239 -

Dude when my girl gave me a handjob and it kinda hurt I grabbed her hand and guided it with my hand around hers.

She then learned how to give me a handjob

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #12884562 -

Anonymous #9 said:
Dude when my girl gave me a handjob and it kinda hurt I grabbed her hand and guided it with my hand around hers.

She then learned how to give me a handjob



thats the thing to do i suppose.

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Re: sexual awkwardity. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12884652 -

seriously a handie under a blanket as you're hanging out with friends and you're too excited and scared to whisper "slower"

is exactly the sort of thing that happens when you're 15

so you're either underage, or the saddest little virgin that couldn't

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