If you want to be recharged and deal with this - it is going to take work. The path is not orgasmic sex though. If your sex life is dead, but you still both masturbate, you need to avoid and or limit that as well. Become in tune with each others minds and bodies. After such coldness, you will have to both be willingly to try again. Loving touch, the desire to nurture and give is felt in the mind and once you wear done mental barriers you will rediscover feelings of warm and comfort through each other.
Check into karezza and other sexual techniques if it ever returns to a sex life between you two. Also check out http://www.reuniting.info/ It has a lot of cool things. Once you understand the reason why you feel this way, it is easier to overcome and make something positive out of it.
Love simply doesn't happen. Horny and lust and love all get confused in relationships. When following mother nature one will fall into the trap of fizzling out and get a desire to drift. Once things have cooled to this point where you feel more like friends that lovers, you have an uphill, but worthwhile battle. You do have one benefit, if you feel like friends you are ahead of a lot of people that only have one thing in common-fucking each other. The best couples either are or become best friends. Hot steamy sex, just isn't a reality for couples forever, for eventually something gives neurochemically.
Talk to her, take the first step. Clearly you had some reason to be the father of her child, rekindle the drive and set a real example for your son. You don't want him to see a father that can't hold together a relationship with his mother. If you can get to the point of getting the real love back into the relationship, he will pick up on that. The whole family will become happier, and one day you can tell him as a young man the key to success. Few parents now in days give "the talk", even fewer give the right talk. A happy life with a partner is so much more than grinding genitalia.
Everything is simply a mind game, it is all chemical. Understand it all, and use it. You don't have to be unhappy, and you don't have to search for other women.
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