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gonna start going to AA meetings
    #11578428 -

Since I started drinking five years ago, the number of days I've gone without a single drink fills up maybe three months tops. I try to rationalize to myself that I'm not REALLY out of control, since I don't blackout or drink myself to sleep often, but I'm getting sick of the constant anxiety and need to prove that to myself while I continue to put away at least a few beers (usually of the 7% IPA variety) every night. That isn't control, it's denial. My body and mind are just going to keep getting shittier and harder to live in at this rate unless I take concerted action, and I've seen from experience that I need outside help to do this.

I'm going to miss getting twisted at parties most of all, but I don't really think it's worth it anymore. And I've always been of the opinion that weed and psychedelics are superior, anyway.

The first responder is probably just going to call me a pussy but I felt like sharing because I've been turning this over in my mind for a few months and I think I've come to a good decision.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11578477 -

congrats good luck.

alcohol in moderation is the key.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11578485 -

like said, congratulations
you're going in a positive direction

i would give you 5 shrooms but..anonymous..

anyways good luck on your present and future!

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #11578733 -

The hard part now is not talking myself right back out of it before I even start... which is why I'm posting this, and telling my friends about it. Makes the decision feel more "real."

Thanks for the good words, guys, I really appreciate it. It's been hard convincing myself that this decision does not represent weakness on my part.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #11578758 -

Anonymous #2 said:
congrats good luck.

alcohol in moderation is the key.


That's not what they're gonna tell him in AA.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11578760 -

if anything it makes you stronger

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #11578774 -

Nope, they're going to tell me never, ever drink no matter what. And that's what I need. :shrug:

Maybe I can learn moderation down the road, but I certainly don't know it now. I can't convince myself that "two or three strong beers a night on average" represents moderation anymore. That's the most moderation I've been able to manage for a long time, and even right now I'm in a much harder-drinking phase than that. Alcoholism is fucking thick in my genes, and behaviorally I learned it from my mother. The cards are pretty stacked against me unless I get help.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11578884 -

For a real alcoholic or drug addict its impossible to learn moderation.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #11578999 -

come to OTD, we love booze.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #11579102 -

Anonymous #4 said:
Anonymous #2 said:
congrats good luck.

alcohol in moderation is the key.


That's not what they're gonna tell him in AA.


exactly why AA fails

remember moderation and youll be fine

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #11579130 -

Moderation works. For a few days at most. I have mad alcohol tolerance by now. I can't even remember what the spins feels like.

I don't think I can do moderation right now, it always turns into something worse. :shrug:

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11579253 -

And don't get me wrong, I know moderation is best, but I literally cannot do it. You have no idea how much I envy the vast majority of my friends who are able to drink themselves stupid at parties and not have a hair of the dog or even drink again until the next party. It's like they don't even want to. It's a completely foreign sentiment for me. I am simply not one of those people, and if it's possible to learn that type of common-sense then I still think I'm probably going to need help to do it.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11579287 -

i'm like that
i only drink when there's something worth drinking for

mainly weekend parties or gatherings if you will

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #11579297 -

Yeah, I only drink when I feel like it. Which is all the time.

Moderation is easy if you don't have that want. Seems like most people don't. You guys have no idea how fucking lucky you are.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11579327 -

Please don't tell a forum full of drug users that they don't understand addiction. :rolleyes:

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11579330 -

ibogaine

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #11579413 -

Anonymous #4 said:
Please don't tell a forum full of drug users that they don't understand addiction. :rolleyes:


You've got me there. I'm just responding to the people who tell me to drink in moderation. Like I said before, drinking in moderation has a 100% failure rate within the context of my life. It doesn't really matter to me if you think that represents a lack of willpower on my part or something, because I'm just trying to think practically here. For me, it's going to take more than the moderation that you guys seem to have figured out so well.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #11579469 -

Anonymous #2 said:
ibogaine


Now there is a great idea. I have no idea where I'd even start looking for it, though.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11579544 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Anonymous #2 said:
ibogaine


Now there is a great idea. I have no idea where I'd even start looking for it, though.


If you find out, let me know. I've always imagined that I'll only have the opportunity to do that if I go to Africa or something.

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Re: gonna start going to AA meetings [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #11579745 -

Have you ever looked at the 12 steps of AA?

Quote:
  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.



If you buy into that shit than it's not much wonder why you got "addicted" to alcohol in the first place.

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