12 hours...

I've gone "shrooming" about 3 times now, the first time I took two friends, bought 2 1/8ths... which in alaska is 100 dollars, and split 'em between the two of us that paid and our friend we wanted to have with us... drank some orange juice, and proceeded to experience a level 2, 5 hour trip, which was definately good... the next week, I ate the rest of the bag with a sober friend of mine and walked around town... one of the most beautiful experiences of my entire life occurred afterwards, at his girlfriends life, when i listened to "you are so beautiful" alone in they're empty living room infront of their boombox.

My friend, growing envious, demanded I later shroom with him. We each bought bags ( a difficult task in semi-rural AK ) and about a week later we went to a friends house who sold pot and was always throwing a party. it was about 10-11 at night, and we smoked some pot, drank a beer with some friends, and snuck into the bathroom with our orange juice...

disregarding the warning made by our seller, we consumed the entire 1/8th of an oz. These were good shrooms, as we had been informed, and we were only reccomended to take 1/2 the bag or at most 2/3.

We stayed around a little longer, we had driven there, but had no intention of staying all night... and to our surprise we were requested outside... a friend of ours just got back from anchorage with a fresh load of marijuana and proceeded to abduct us into his bronco. we moved out to a well known retreat by the water and smoked about 10 bowls, between the 4 people in the bronco. by the 8th bowl, i was lost in my reflection in the window, and when i looked at my partner, i saw this completely boggled look on his face...

I laughed.
for a very, very long time.

Our ride, not yet knowing we were on shrooms, now discovers the fact, and decides it would be fun to fuck with us... he's drunk, and really stoned, and i turn my head for a moment... when i turn it back, i see him reaching into the divider box that splits the passenger seats, i hear a lighter, and then really really fast he throws this firecracker on the ground in the back seat.

Now my tripping buddy, is a 2hundred and 40pound 6'2" ball of mass, and i've never seen anybody move that fast... ever. the guy was outside the car, over the passenger seat (with a passenger in it) from the back seat behind the driver before i could even blink. i was subject to almost shitting my pants when i realized a firecracker was going off. to make a long story short, we then did 90 miles an hour through the middle of town because Behhh... the drunk guy driving us, was determined to screw with us. i've lived in this town my entire life, and there's a stop sign at the end of the road we were on. I looked to my right out the window, and saw the sign, but it wasnt where it was supposed to be... so i looked away for a minute, and it was chasing the front of the car, like 4 feet infront of it the entire time... it finally stopped when we reached it, and stayed where it was supposed to. we got out at the drug dealers house.

our friends we left there were really bored, and everyone in the house was pissed we were tripping... (i thought all of this was extremely funny) mushrooms arent easy to find here... so we left. Ben, my friend tripping with me, decided to drive...
not a good idea.

this is where the shit hit the fan. all i remember about the drive, is that i was immensely paranoid, the road was bending down at both sides, and curved up in the middle, all of the 1-2 story houses got taller as we got closer, and it was VERY dark out. i dont know how fast we were going, the trip seemed to take about three hours... even though his house was less than a mile away.

We arrive at bens house, 2 drunk people in the car, one guy named steve, who is... very... very... very different, and a foreign exchange student named Dew, whom we thought it would be funny to party with... it was...

I get out of the car, feel very disoriented, but at the same time i'm trying to be quiet as to not wake his parents, i wander into bens room without stopping, a gallon of orange juice in my hand, and find a spot on the bed, dew and steve sit next to the bed (its a small room) and ben goes in to tell his mom n dad he's home... he's in there for a while, later i learn he tried to walk towards the door, and it kept getting farther and farther away, so he eventually RAN at it, and caught the bastard)

I was surprised to hear when ben got back, that his mother knew he was on something, and guessed mushrooms when he walked in the door. this was a bummer, but it was really funny at the same time. it was 1am.
I make myself comfortable, and start feeling sort of ... very.. thin.. weak almost.. and ben is laying next to me on the bed, with another set of blankets, I'm playing with the ceiling... Its a sort of frosted ceiling, and i realize that everything in his room is frosted, in fact, its frozen, with little crystals all over it. Dew is playing with a beer, and later i learn a video camera. dew is a goofy looking tai kid when he's drunk, and he keeps saying things i cant understand, in english. I was told later i kept repeating "where am i, i'm right here, yes i am, i'm RIGHT here... where are we? were're right here..." on and on, i never shut up.
I'm laughing, a lot.
i stop, and look around again, this time i happen to look at my arm, which is laying over the blanket and on my chest, my arm is at least 5times the size it normally is, and i say something to steve about it, "holy shit my arm..." i'm told its the same as its always been, and after that moment I incorperate "where am i, i'm right here, goddamn arm, bad arm, thats a bad arm, traitor arm... i'm right here, where am i.."

after the arm incident, that damn arm is like a magnet, i cant look at anything else, i try, but i gotta look at the arm. i try to move it, but when i tell my muscle to pull my arm under the covers... my muscle moves, and my bones dont follow, they float around in my arm and make sick bone noises. GOD DAMN ARM. so i'm a little scared... i dont like the arm, i dont like the bones, i try to not move at all. I start forgetting how to breathe, ben took off to the kitchen and I keep thinking "ben, ben come here, are you cool dude?" every few minutes I have to STOP thinking about whatever i'm lost in, wether its bens mother's choice in carpet, the picture of the pretty girl on bens wall maybe being satan in disguise, which i later found out steve agreed with me on, and proceeded to call autumn dell the devil, all night long... and was angry at himself because he wanted to fuck the devil... (autumn dell was the girl in the picture)

it started to twist and distort, it grew horns, which i thought was great, steve was going off, the laughing started again, all in a period of about 2 minutes after I realized I was fucking up with the breathing thing...

ben walks into his room, everybody stops talking, looks right at me, and says "i'm fine mike" and gets into his bed.
...
i guess he was in the bathroom or kitchen doing whatever, and something in his head kept asking him if he was ok, he realized it was coming from me, but not until he walked in the room and saw me.

the breathing thing got worse, i couldn't remember how to do it, and when i stopped thinking about it, i'd stop breathing. i would gasp for air every minute or so in long huge breaths, or so i'm told, and attempt to hold it in for some reason. afterwards i remember feeling as though i needed more air, and it just wasnt ever enough, but i'd forget immediately.
i told ben i wanted some milk, and that if i tried to move to get some my bones wouldnt come with me. we had been told milk would kill our trip, and i was scared. ben went to the kitchen, and we had no milk. in the morning, milk was EVERYWHERE. on the table, in the cupboard in powder form, 2 gallons in the fridge... ben swears on his life he looked everywhere to no avail.

for some reason, i leapt out of bed, my bones came! but my arm felt like a damn anvil, that fucking traitor, and i walked sideways under a heavy load to the bathroom to throw up.
I couldnt throw up, i got on my knees on the floor and stared into the toilet. the water was moving towards my face, up and down, my forehead felt like there were coals nesting on it, but when i touched it they went away, only to come back again in a minute. i laid back on the floor, and felt comfortable, everything... EVERYTHING was moving, all over me, the entire room was waving, like it was all fake, and it was trying to show me that it didnt matter... that nothing mattered, i could see through the outside wall, it was faintly shadowed in bathroom but i watched the grass be frozen outside and the fence rip itself out of the ground and twist towards the sky.

the whole time i was happy because the ground i was laying on WASNT moving, and it assured me i was tripping.. i had been very confused and was believing this stuff, i had lost contact with reality i was sure of it. I then sat up, looked down at the floor where i was laying, and the motherfucker was moving all over the place, in and out, waving back and forth. so much for that idea... nothing is real, nothing but the grass outside. i got up, somehow, and looked in the mirror. i remember that i looked like a bald eagle might look if it was a biped with wing/arms, and i cocked my head from side to side, watching the birdlike motions.
i spit in the sink, and got lost in the swirling for what seemed to be like thirty minutes, i have no idea how long i was in the bathroom, but i thought i was going to puke again and i felt HORRIBLE all at once. for no reason.
i lay on the floor of the bathroom, trying to breathe, wondering what would happen if the floor stopped holding me up, forgetting all about that god damn arm of mine, and went on whispering nonsense, all i distinctly remember saying was "ben, ben come here, i need milk, i need milk, this isnt right" i was convinced nothing was real, the house, the fence, the mirror, the people in the room down from me...
five seconds later, ben opens the door and said "whats wrong, i'm right here"
i get up, go and lay down again, they turn on the black light, and i trip HARD. i cant explain, i was completely lost in dew and steve, ben was unresponsive laying between me and the wall, which was speaking to me, in very very very low tones, like a big bass guitar. saying things i had to promise not to say to anybody else. Dew let me play with his camera, he destroyed the tape before i got to see it the next day, on orders of ben. i regret not taking it out and keeping it myself, I would have had him keep it.

i continue tripping, i dont fal asleep, ben gets out of bed at like 11 the next day, i'm still laughing. he walks out, his mother is a native nurse, she makes me get up, looks in bens eyes and says something like "your o.k. now to drive" and she looks at me for a minute, gets really confused, looks again, and says "holy shit your still stoned."
i am made to stay in the living room for another hour or so, by the time noon comes around, she checks me again, and tells me i'm ok.
i was tripping for a little over 12 hours, and had effects all through that day, level 1 or so, while iw as at home...
...
i thought for sure i was going to die, the breathing thing took up most of my time... but the funny deal was, i appreciated it... after that day i stopped drinking, smoking pot, caffine pills, even soda. i to this day have drank soda 1 time, that was to try vanilla coke, and it was only a sip. just water for me, ever since. I dont ever have problems with anybody, and i live a very very happy life. every day is great, its been since april, and its september now. though, i come to this place now, considering shrooming again with friends, re-reading precautions and suggestions, and i realize that this time, everything is going to be just fine.
i suggest mushrooms to everybody, at least one time in your life, some people hallucinate a lot, some people think thoughts they cant ever really understand, some people understand thoughts they never even knew they had, some people have a horrible time...
but at the end of the thing, regardless, you come out of it with this mental... calm... i wasnt even expecting. you love everybody, none of this menial bullshit matters anymore, and, I at least, realize most of the turmoil the masses go through every day, is caused by themselves, unconsciously, and it can ALL be avoided. its so simple.

Mike-