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Yankee Candle, phone call - loss of ego

My friend L and I decide to do shrooms.

My friend L and I decide to do shrooms. He's never done that before, I've done them a few times. We both have decent histories of drug use other than shrooms.

The shrooms I had were good. And I mean it. It was much better than the usual stuff - just an 8th fucked us up. I'm thinking we probably had psilocybe cyanescens. First, we smoked some good pot, using a pipe L had made himself (druggies make good woodworkers, don't you think?). Then, we had decided to drink a little, but not a lot, but we eventually decided against it, because it was L's first time, and he didn't want to bug out. We ate the shrooms. I ate about 2 grams, he ate about 1. And things started getting good.

The first obvious visual was really weird - the ceiling looked like an open book, with a fold in-between. It was so warped, that I felt I could just reach and turn a page of the "ceiling book". The walls started brething, and their breathing was synchronized with mine. The light was so warped, I swear I saw a "sword of light" coming from the window. Everything seemed to flow - wherever I looked, I saw rivers of circly little patterns, with patterns inside them. I felt the early surge of euphoria. Then I started running around for some reason. My senses were already fucked up - as it always happens when I'm tripping, my sense of touch was influenced the most. When I touched something, I couldn't feel it for about 2 seconds. So I started running around, hitting the walls all around, and cracking up. Then I was trying to hold up one of the Yankee Candle things - you know, the candle in the glass bottle things - And it slipped out of my hand and broke.

Now this is when I realized I was extremely fucked up - I could not comprehend what I had done. L was less fucked up, and he kept reassuring me things were all right, but I just kept repeating "I broke some glass, I broke some glass", and I kept asking him questions like "Is it really bad?" I seriously did not know what I had done. Then I forgot about it for a while, and lied down. The euphoria was great. We were both laughing as hard as we could. Then the phone rang - this is where things got REALLY weird. We didn't pick it up. About 15 minutes later, I saw the message light flashing. I played the message, but I couldn't comprehend a word of what it said. The deal is - apparently, I was the one calling my home number from my cell, and I left a strange message, but I couldn't recognize my own voice. We couldn't figure out who had left the message until we sobered up. The thing is - I have absolutely no recollection of leaving that message. I also have no recollection of whole periods of time.

Then we went up to my room. The visuals were getting creepy. Everything I looked at was right out of Rembrandt painting. My friend's face was made of dots of color that weren't supposed to be there. Light was playing tricks. I couldn't move my body. I just kept repeating "who left the message?", "I broke some glass", and "Fuck. I'm fucked". I could't say anything else. I'm making it sound bad, but I was feeling awesome at the time. I was feeling a completel surge of Euphoria. I peeked on my bed, with my eyes closed. I have no recollection of what happened - all I know is that I couldn't see anything, the Bob Marley we were playing was creeping me out, and I was on my bed. Then, I realized I didn't know who I was - I just didn't. I kept asking my L "who am I?". He had the same problem, so he was repeating his home address. At one point, we went into my sister's room to look at the mirror - I had completely forgotten who I was. I kept reminding me of who I was bit by bit - but I was still not sure about my personality, or my history.

Another thing I remember is that I completely displaced. I felt I was in Europe. I kept telling L that the trip felt "Very European". At one point, I kept saying things like "I'm in Belgium, I'm in Switzerland..." Even though I haven't been to all those place. My home - typically American - looked very European to my eyes. It was weird as hell. Then I displaced to another part of the world, where I lived up until a couple of years ago, and I saw all my old friends again.

Anyway, we kepts hallucinating like hell. L saw negative photos all over the place, then chased an invisible butterfly.

Then, in the weirdest of places, my sister's room, we started sobering up - and that's my favorite part of the trip - when you're not really fucked up or hallucinating, but you feel this surge of euphoria. I kept saying things like "this is all that's ever been. There is no other time". My friend kept checking the time, but I couldn't comprehend time at that point - I was too fucked. Then I looked at the clock and realized we'd been tripping for 3 hours, which I absolutely couldn't believe. We spend another couple of hours descending, during which we were still very fucked up, and watched some weird wrestling cartoon on TV. Then we got a ride downtown, smoked a few cigarettes, and ate a large pizza and some candy.

Pretty good day, if I may say so.

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