Short Reflection

The waves mirrored my breathing—uneven, rhythmic, pulling and crashing. I walked barefoot for a while, then sat by a dune, headphones in, listening to deep theta waves.

As twilight came, I dropped inward. My sense of self shattered into sea foam. Waves of emotion crashed over me, one after another. Each sob was a release.  It was like breaking off pieces that were weighing me down. Shame, guilt, habits of pretending—I let them all go like stones flung into the ocean.

But it wasn’t easy. At times it was necessary to do an extra effort, like I was hugging myself tight, hoping I wouldn’t just spill out all over the place. I wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked, breathing into the center of my being.

I emerged cold but held. My partner met me with tea and warmth. The moon rose. I slept deeply that night, feeling not healed exactly, but wholly rearranged.