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Full Immersion
Took 2grams
7am Small meal
915am Consumed about 2 grams dry
930am Suddenly sleepy and mildly nauseous.
1045am Started feeling about the same as if mildly buzzed from alcohol
11am Overwhelming urge to visit nearby fast food. Managed to order the food without problems. Ate inside and left. Felt the urge to randomly laugh a few times while eating and while walking out.
1118am Safely back inside my bedroom. Noticed nerves were jittering and not following mental commands very well. Tiny bit of visual feedback. Something like tiny horizontal lines of rainbow colored asterisk symbols **** but they were rolling forward.
1120am Put on my CPAP machine and closed my eyes...
It was like I had been dipping my toes in water, then suddenly went under the surface and realized how deep and colorful the ocean was beneath me. Tremendous difference between having my eyes open vs closed.
Realized I was rubbing my legs back and forth on each other for no other reason than the sensations. Thought about how it was like snakes sliding over each other. Randomly This took me straight to the base of a statue that was covered in stone snakes. Every one of them was rectangular with rounded edges. The snakes were definitely stone, but energy was flowing through them. Mayan pictographs were flowing over the surface of the snakes and the lines of text all flowed up towards to the top of the statue. I was too consumed with focus on the base of the statue to even think about looking at the top. No sense of negativity from the snakes. Random sounds in the background of didgeridoos.
1135am Came up for air.
No other way to describe it. Opened my eyes and realized the things I was vaguely aware of in the room were many times smaller. My mind was making everything larger and closer. Controlling my arms and legs was maybe 20% effective. Even then it was like pulling puppet strings.
Decided to crank up the bedroom heat.
Closed eyes. Mind was still halfway focused on Australian Aboriginal content so I heard their mumbling voices as I went deeper. For the smallest flicker of time I felt a connection to literal trees and saw them as historians and simultaneously hedonists. Every year they spread their pollen into the void for any and all living beings, but they still have a purpose in their daily lives. They record tremendous information in their trunks for conditions every year. Quickly shifted my focus. My POV became paralyzed and I could barely wiggle my hands below the wrist. My head felt tremendously far from my hands, then I realized I was a Queen ant and the hands were other ant workers.
1146am Came up for air.
Spent a lot of time processing all this with my eyes open. Thought about sharing this experience with my partner.
1215pm Closed my eyes.
Thought about snakes some more, but this time my legs turned into snakes and suddenly were covered in chrome with machine parts sticking out. Disturbed because the flesh into metal thing didn't feel right.
1218pm Came up for air. Did some reading and thinking. Was just starting to realize that closing my eyes would send me right back down another adventure. Thought about how controlling this experience was like controlling a tsunami. Once you're in, you're not controlling anything.
Consciously chose to not close eyes for a while.
1246pm Got hungry for sweets. Went to store. Barely managed to choose something, purchase it, and make it back to bedroom.
Closed eyes and suddenly was guided by an ant elder. He addressed my concern that I wasn't accomplishing enough. He showed me a massive ant colony from the perspective of an ant. "It doesn't matter who was the leader while we built the colony. It only mattered if you contributed to building it." I could see a tiny sliver of the colony glow yellow. It represented all the labor done by the lifetime of a single ant.
1252pm Came up for air.
1pm Realized the strength of the trip was diminishing. Realized I could use the CPAP while covering my face with pillows and completely block out all sense distractions. WENT DEEP into blackness. I don't remember what happened it was so different from the earlier parts of the day.
2pm Took off CPAP and decided to do this again sometime.
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