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My journey with amanita muscaria

Amanita Trip Report

So I just wanted to put this on the public record. I would be open to input. But I feel like this is just the thing that happened. So I’m gonna write it down.

I was always deeply fascinated with psychedelics. Ever since I was a small child. So early this year when I was hit with a car and woke up in an ambulance. I was told that I should’ve died. But I didn’t. A lot of people get to know the moment before they die and make peace. Maybe see their life flash before their eyes or feel regret, or acceptance.
I didn’t get to have any of that. I just woke up in pain and saw the bicycle helmet I was wearing, smashed to pieces. Then I just had to come home. 
Took me a couple weeks afterwards to realize how none of the things I hoped to accomplish had happened. Feels like I’ve always been waiting to do something. But never got around to it. And then some dumbass almost murdered me. So I decided to start exploring psychedelics. I happen to live in a place where mushrooms recently became legal. To a point where you can buy a candy bar with it in there now at the store. Which I did.  This was a mixture of psilocybin mushrooms, and lions mane for whatever reason. If somebody wants to tell me why lions mane is showing up in all of the recipes now, I’d love to know. 

I had a fantastic trip. I went into this grow tent that doesn’t have its light set up yet. And there was an object offered from the void to me that I reached out and tried to touch. That’s how realistic the visuals were.  And then I had to go out into the den and talk to my friend and hear about how everyone’s planning on moving and how I would need to find roommates and that kind of ruined the trip. What saved it was I ended up covering up my eyes, listening to some music and just enjoying the visuals. It was truly an excellent trip. I went inside myself, forgave myself for things that I never did wrong. I gave myself empathy where I had not before. It was such a good trip that I really wanted to do it again. 

But I knew that the tolerance level for mushrooms takes a while to go away. Somewhere between seven and 14 days.  so after I have done that mushroom trip. I wanted to do another but without having a lessened experience. Which reminded me of the first psychedelic mushroom that people ever played with. The amanita muscaria. 
This is the mushroom that made me want psychedelics for most of my life. It used a different receptor in the brain so zero tolerance would hold me back, I was ready. So I went online. I found a reputable vendor. At least I thought that.

I bought a bag of salvia divinorum, a bag of amanita muscaria, a bag of hostilis root bark, and a bag of syrian rue. So I have done a lifetime of research on this topic. I always decided that the best way to do this would be to grind up the mushrooms, put them in pill caps, and swallow them. Knowing the exact Gram amount that I am about to consume. Having bypassed all of my stomach. And then releasing in my lower intestine where the chemicals would just be readily absorbed. I wanted to avoid the nausea. 

So I started out with 5 g. Which let me Tell ya, is a lot of pill caps. About 22. So I ate all those on an empty stomach didn’t have anything for breakfast. Didn’t want anything to lessen this. I waited three hours. Nothing happened. 

So I did another 2 1/2 g. I was a bit concerned. Because people had always told me this exact mistake. And how it usually led to a PTSD nightmare trip. But I hadn’t been experiencing anything. So I was ready. And I was going to accept the consequences. 

Another 2 1/2 hours have gone by and nothing is happening. At this point I am almost positive that the stuff that I bought is trash. Probably been sitting on the shelf for years. The people have no idea that those chemicals do not remain viable after a certain point even when in a dried mushroom.  “I got probably expired shit.” Also, I start questioning my method. What if this isn’t like other mushrooms? What if this is absorbed in the upper intestine and not the lower one? 

Questioning myself, I decide let’s go old-school. I don’t give a crap about the gut rot at this point. So I go in to the kitchen. I take all of the rest of the mushrooms and grind them, put them into some water and boil them for about  Three minutes. Pouring out the tea. And dumping mushroom bits into the tea. I drink 2 cups of this tea. Chewing the contents on the bottom and swallowing it as well. Things began to happen almost immediately after drinking the tea. But not in the ways that I wanted.

So I began to feel like there was some thing trying to overlay on top of my vision. Not the visuals that I wanted, and I don’t think it is anything like anyone else has ever experienced on these. You know when you look at a really bright light? And when the light is turned off, you can still see it’s outline. So that starts happening, but it’s like blindness not distortion. I have lost the ability to read quickly. Like it takes a ton of effort to just stare at the words on the tv. Nothings being distorted. It’s just like my vision is being edited in a way.

 There is a sensation in your head. But it is not what the psilocybin was doing. Which I would describe as a sense of euphoria and wonder. If anyone here has ever taken a fat hit of salvia. Without moving it feels like you’re being slid across the room and your head keeps trying to catch up to you so it keeps slamming into you. That’s the best description I can give it. it’s like there’s a whole string of yourselves, and you keep bouncing back into yourself, trying to connect back to the original one. So it feels almost like there’s a constant slamming into your head. It’s not physically painful, but it feels like that. That’s the best I can describe it. That’s what these feel like. That is not the thing that people enjoy about salvia. They like the visuals. Which is why I was in this place. I had described to me beautiful stained glass visuals. That’s what I had expected when starting this trip.

Things got progressively worse from here. I tried using my phone. Which is used a lot. I looked down at the message I was trying to type. And it was just riddled with spelling errors. So I go back and I really focus this time. I could watch my finger just twitch a little bit and missed the button. That’s concerning…

The twitch got worse. So much so that I almost dropped things that I was trying to carry back to table. Started hitting into the table pretty hard with my knee multiple times. I decided this is something they were telling me could happen. It actually does inebriate you. Same receptors as alcohol. So I’ve decided I’m not gonna move anymore and I’m going to just close my eyes and hope that this visual is actually happening, just not with eyes open. 

Well, when I close my eyes, I get zero visuals, but the twitch is completely gone. Some thing I was seeing and not perceiving was causing me to twitch. Imagine when you’re falling asleep. Then all of a sudden every muscle tenses in your body and you jerk around for a second. As if you were actually physically falling asleep. That is, I think, what was happening. I’ve been told that people will go into a damn near coma sleep after taking these. I have taken well more than 10 g by this point. I decided to start playing far cry blood dragon. 

That lasted for maybe 30 minutes before I got completely lost in a tiny base. I could not find any of the four gigantic door ways to let me out. That’s when I realized, that I am too far gone to be able to do almost anything. 

I am still having zero visuals at this point. The twitch is full-blown. It is night time now. So my friend left. I realize that I could possibly die if all this stuff actually wasn’t being activated this whole time and decides to while I’m sleeping. You could go into actual coma if you take too much. So I warn my other roommate. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, call 911.”

This goes on for several more hours. I go into my room. It’s a very dark room because I like to grow things. It was late enough that the lights were out. I figured this would be the perfect place to just ride this out. I may not have visuals, but perhaps I can get the other effect that I really enjoy. Getting to go inside of yourself. Really contemplate the big thoughts, make decisions, goals for yourself.

So I laid down literally thinking that sentence. 

And then,
nothing, like literally nothing.

I have never been able to actually completely clear my mind  unless I am deeply attempting meditation. Even then, some stupid shit always crops up. Not this time. This was the fucking abyss. There was absolutely nothing. I had zero thoughts at all. I started to realize that I didn’t like absolutely nothing. So I decided I’m gonna go and watch something and maybe that will at least give my mind some thing to fucking do. 

So I go out and decide to watch a movie that I put into our watchlist. The toxic avenger, which I thought would be campy and kind of funny. It’s a campy 80s horror movie. Not a silly movie. This dude smashes peoples heads with his bare hands, he ripped somebody’s rib cage open. Progressively doing some of the most violent shit I’ve ever seen. Plus it’s all practical effects. Which is hitting me pretty hard right now. The other roommate came out and suggested that I not watch that anymore. Because I honestly couldn’t have the idea myself at that point.  I then decided to start watching Harley Quinn the cartoon. And I watched that until, thankfully, I went to bed. 

Woke up the next morning when I always do. No after effects at all. When I look back on it honestly. Is that what a heart attack would be like?  At one point during the trip I needed to convince myself that this is because of the drugs. The twitch won’t last forever. Because it was scaring me. I guess after such a terrible journey. The salvia didn’t seem so bad anymore. Couple days later I ended up actually getting my first real trip on salvia. Got to hang out with a couple of goofy black-and-white cartoons. They told me a joke or something. It was really funny but I forgot what it was.

 That only lasted five minutes.  
It was in every way a better, more visual, and nicer experience than an entire day that I spent trying to trip on amanita muscaria. So I guess I just wanna know if I was right. I hope these mushrooms were trash. I wanna hear from somebody else who has had an experience like mine. Or I want a confirmation that I was sold garbage mushrooms, and they didn’t work the way they were supposed to at all. Either way, I gotta say I feel better just having this written down. 

Would not do again. If I did, I would pick them myself dry them myself, and make my own tea. I can honestly say that was my first bad trip. I also know now while I’m dieting to try and prepare myself for the ayahuasca. That I don’t want to be anywhere near that Goddamn house when I trip. I live under an airport. The level of noise even at night is completely insane. There’s a dude with a motorcycle that likes to drive by at 2:30 in the morning sometimes. I just really want to take my mushrooms that I’m growing. Because they won’t be the same trip. I’m sure of it. If you actually made it through that giant wall of text, let me know what you think. Did I get fucked? Did you have the same nightmare experience as me? Message me and let me know.

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