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Quality of Life
History : I'm 25 Years old and 2 years ago I had a one time Grand Mal Seizure, was never diagnosed. I was put into an induced coma for a month. Doctors told my family I was going to be brain dead. Well, I came to and took weeks to relearn to walk. I lost 80lbs (mostly muscle mass). I lost a lot of my cognitive function and still struggle with memories short and long term. Psilocybin cubensis helps me recall lost memories and seems to improve short-term memory retention. I realized that I suppressed pretty much any suffering I experienced, which I link to the seizure but who really knows? Never mourned a death until very recently. Psilocybin cubensis helped me mourne the death of my grandmother and grandfather who raised me until their passing in 2004. This is when I started heavily using cannabis, all day every day. I now know at the time it helped me not feel. This is also when I dropped out of school (10th grade) I had all a's ands b's but struggled making or keeping friends. Mourned the death of my father who heavily used drugs and never played a role in my life. He was homeless across the country for most of his until 2010-2012 when he returned to meet my sister's first child. I've endured plenty of other stresses along the way prior to my seizure. Being homeless myself, squatting in a rental without water or electricity. In the recent years 2012-2017 I've perfected a trade general contracting, siding, windows & doors, roofing to name a few. I've wanted to open my own business in that line of work but now feel it's too basic and want to aim higher. I would love to teach health, so I can help myself learn and stay mentally sharp and regain IQ I feel I've lost chasing a high (cannabis) I didn't even enjoy.
Dosage: I microdosed for about a week .2 - .5 dried grams taking large quantities occasionally 3-7 dried grams, ground finely and stirred into cold tea or juice once or twice a week. (Chewing whole mushrooms I feel they swell in my gut and make me nauseous, grinding them I don't feel nauseous at all.) Every "trip" was an amazing experience. I didn't experience any open eye visuals, and very faint closed eye kaleidoscope patterns. Felt as if even my 7 dried gram trip was mild compared to most peoples reactions. Even a few close friends tripped balls taking a similar amount. I felt rather sober compared to him. I don't necessarily want a bad trip so I havnt went up to 10-12 dried grams, yet.
Psilocybin cubensis cured my depression, anxiety, helped me quit smoking cannabis (heavy user both smoking and ingesting for 15 years). Im not anti cannabis but it deffinatly made me super reserved and not high it was a low for me. Now have an amazing outlook on life and clarity is my top priority. Trying to eat healthier and partake in a more healthy lifestyle. I want to educate people on health and the psyche, maybe one day becoming a doctor. I actually dream now, and like to believe I'm no longer a vessel headed down the dark path that my previous ego craved so badly. Most importantly I learned not to cling onto anything in this world, impermanence.
I also no longer suffer from frequent (almost daily) severe migraine headaches that were near debilitating.
Would love to hear any and all feedback. Destru@gmail.com
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