Okay so I'm on the tail end of one of the craziest experiences that I have ever had (still having). I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place or if there is a better way to give a backstory, but I just need to get this out there now, and if it's wrong, I'll fix it when I'm sober.
The story actually starts off about 3 months ago when I decided that I wanted to try magic mushrooms. I had smoked weed quite frequently and was a daily smoker at one point in my life. But I had never tried any traditional psychedelics. Now, not to be the arrogant type, I thoroughly did my research, looked at the appropriate dosage given my height and weight, and decided to give it a go.
I purchased 3.5 grams of mushrooms from a group of friends that I had previously known to habitually use psychedelics. I set aside a weekend, told my best friend that I wanted to trip, we went for a hike and....nothing.
Now I had decided to go the cautious route, and only consume what I believe to be about a gram or so of mushrooms (I had no scale so I could be wrong). Now, when I say nothing, I mean I might have felt a slight stoning effect, maybe colors were slightly brighter? The experiential intensity could be equated to maybe taking a few hits off of some decent weed.
Now on to today, what you really want to read about. I had kept the remainder of that bag of mushrooms for about 2 months or so. I never felt the calling to really do them again, until recently. I wanted to have a fuller, more intense trip, and boy, did I get what I was fucking looking for.
Now backstory, I had just confessed my love for a girl about a week ago, who although maybe loves me as a friend, did not share the same feelings. Now, she had known that I liked her for maybe a month before last week, and what prompted my confession was her admitting to me that she had feelings for another guy. Shitty set.
So I decided, fuck it, I'll take these shrooms and, maybe not have the best time, but come out of it with a new outlook on things. I made sure that I felt like I had gotten over the initial hump of depression, and we were off.
Except one problem, my sitter, the same one from before, had to leave early at around 7 PM. I had planned on taking them at like 4 PM and staying out until midnight at least. Now, I had to take them at around 2 PM to even stand a chance of being sober by the time I had to be around people who wouldn't necessarily agree with my drug use. Shitty setting.
So my friend and I drive out to a nature spot, and I eat the rest of the shrooms at 2 o'clock (What I estimate to be about 2.5 grams). We walk around for a bit and I'm not really feeling much. We ran out of water, so decide that we'll take a quick ride down to a nearby gas station, get some gas and pick up a couple water bottles.
We get to the gas station, and my friend gets out to pump the gas, and that's when it started to hit me. It's not pleasurable nor is it unpleasant. It just is, and that's different from my previous drug use.
So I'm feeling a little nervous with it's onset, but I tell myself that I'll be fine and I manage to compose myself enough to go into the store and buy some water, with my friends help of course. So its coming on harder and harder, and I start to realize that the nature of this trip will be heavily influenced by the setting.
So now I'm coming up in a car, and I tell my friend that we need to find someplace out in nature, so that I could walk around and sit for a bit. At this point, I'm definitely feeling it, but I'm still a functional human being.
The visuals started to become fairly intense. I began to see patterns in everything, shapes warping, and fractals on my friends face. But this was not the most interesting nor intense part of my trip.
My mood became extremely susceptible to my environment. I could be having a great experience one moment, then the wind picks up slightly, and I'm having a very difficult one. So my friend and I find a nice place to sit on the top of this hill, surrounded by nature, but also overlooked the city. Now I began to feel very thoughtful. I started pacing back and forth talking to my friend about how I felt like I was looking on the outside of human experience and the universe in.
Eventually, it got to the point where I started to cry, not because I felt sad, but because how powerful the experience was. I felt like I had just encountered absolute truth, but I didn't fully understand it yet. I started talking about how I loved the people in my life, my family, my friends, everyone and how I felt as though I had been unappreciative of them all in the past.
This was when the trip started to become a little bit more difficult. I was thinking about how people interact with each other and how we talk. I began to think about my parents, and what separates drug users from non drug users. The experience gained a whole new level of intensity as I begged my friend to hold me while I tried to figure out what to do with myself.
I put my head down and decided that I would try to sleep. When I closed my eyes, I went to a whole new world, filled with nothing but intense emotions and intense tactile experiences. I then tried to get up to walk, but I was so fucked up, I could barely stand. The fractal patterns and visual anomalies were becoming ever more apparent as I slowly lost the ability to discern hallucinations from reality.
I started to think about needing an ambulance because I felt as though I was going to die, although I knew that I wasn't, so I was able to keep calm, and just remind myself that I took something and that I wasn't going to feel like this forever.
After feeling that way for about an hour or so, we decided to start trying to walk to maybe distract myself. Luckily, I found that I could stand, and the more I walked, the better I felt. The experience started to become more positive.
My friend and I came across a school, and decided to walk through it. At this point, the experience was beginning to feel more bearable and at times even pleasurable. I began to laugh a little, and I could finally see what it was this substance was trying to tell me.
My friend and I walked around for a bit, then drove around for a little while after that. So that was what I consider to be my first magic mushroom trip. It was ridiculously intense. It was difficult at times but I wouldn't really consider it a "bad trip". I'm glad that I embarked on this adventure. I feel like it has taught me a lot about myself and about my life. I don't think I'll be doing this ever again.