Let me begin with the reason behind this journey. The last month has been a bizarre paradox of improving my life yet feeling more and more depresed. This had led me to seeking psylicibin. Money was an issue bit I managed to aquire enough for a half slice. The day of taking the single 2 gram mushroom (he gave me 2 grams because it was what one shroom weighed.) I only ate a very light breakfast that day, of two eggs and a gkass of milk, and was going to take the mushroom at 8 o clock at night. At 7:30pm I began the soaking process of mushroom and fresh lime juice as I was told this would make it come on faster and be more intense. I did an intention the moment before consuming, geared towards changing my depression then drank the lime juice concoction.
Within 20 minutes I was aware that my motor skills were being influenced, and put on an icuros that was an hour and a half long. This hour and a half was a very child-like enjoyment, bringinh my mind to the bizarreness of the way humas act (one concept that stuck to me was "humans think they are so intelligent, yet you have no way to describe this") I felt very at ease and experienced a lot of "head vibrations". Being underneath a soft blanket brought me back to the comfort of a womb and I found myself chanting with the icuros as powerful waves of visuals transpired.
When the icuros came to an end I lie there feeling incredible and light, but then my body began to shift and I felt an overwhelming urge to shit. Upon going to the bathroom I expelled everything that was inside my bowels repetitively until absolutely everything was out. This happens over the course of two hours with lying face down experiencing discomfort in between. During these two hours I felt as though I was living as a mentally handicapped person does, overstimulated yet unable to perform normal everyday tasks. I would know what steps needed to happen for the fan to come on without the light when I flipped the switch, but the actions were slow. I realize that what a person is able to do with they're body is not a direct reflection of the mind within. This leads me to the importance of compassion and love.
When this chapter of the journey was over I wanted something familiar so i put on Aesop Rocks new album " impossible kid". I stood with my blanket over me listening and singing along feeling child-like bliss again. But began to feel discomfort again like I needed the icuros once more. I put this on as the trip calmed down and found that my sense of time returned and realized it was 1 a.m. I fell asleep and woke up with greater awareness for compassion, mainly towards myself and realized that life is truly never ending, and upon death we continue to experience, only in an alternative consciousness. This last idea has made me rethink my depression and decide to fight until nature takes me naturally.