Back again with another trip report, this one a little more light-hearted than the one I posted a few years ago, if you read that one. If not, you should give a lookie when you have the time.
This report will be detailed, as i am a descriptive writer (I hope) and is pretty funny/interesting for anyone who is interested in the concept. Also, I give up on using capitals i's halfway through as im writing on google docs and don't wanna press shift every time! Apologies in advance. Also, i know lots of words turn people off, but please take the time to read this! I promise youll find enjoyment in it.(PS: Please leave comments! I love feedback!)
As stated in the title, this report is about the time I spent Shabbos dinner (A Jewish custom on friday nights) with my family on roughly 5-5.5 grams of P. Cubensis. This happened about 3 years ago, but it is still fresh in my mind. I will be using Timestamps up until the point I lost perception of time.
A bit of background~
My Dad's side of the family, the religious side, was unknowing of my use of psychedelics at the time. I was finishing up my senior year of high school, and finals were in full swing. This was an important time in my life, for the results of my finals would greatly affect what college I would get into. For those of you that dont know, Shabbos dinner is a Jewish custom, partaking on Friday night, the eve of shabbos, that consists of prayers and blessings and of course, food. I myself am not religious, but I respect my house, my religion, and my house rules enough to participate and enjoy the customs. So lets get into it!
9:00 AM, Friday Morning- I got ready to go to school for my very last two finals. I showed up an hour early, and decided to pay my boss a quick visit, who is a very close friend of mine that worked at the school. I did this because I knew I probably wouldn't see her for a while during the summer, and she genuinely meant so much to me as a friend.
Her and I had gone to many shows together (String cheese Incident, Phish, Leftover Salmon, Infamous Stringdusters) and amongst those shows, much MDMA and Marijuana was consumed.
9:30- I stopped by her office, and to my surprise, she had a gift waiting for me! I was unsure what it was, but she hesitated to give it to me before saying "Dont eat the whole thing!". Assuming it was a Marijuana cookie or something, I pondered the idea of eating it before my finals. (I was an avid pot user at the time, and felt comfortable doing this, despite how stupid it was). However, for some odd reason, I chose to save it for the evening as a celebratory reward.
Fast forward- 5:00 PM: Finals came to a conclusion, along with highschool, and I was feeling good about it! I had my best friend with me at the time, as he often came over on friday nights and stayed for the weekend when he was done with work. I told him I had a weed chocolate, and asked if he wanted to split it, but he said I should have the whole thing in celebration for school ending. Not heeding my Boss's advice, I ate the whole thing.
5:30 PM: I started to feel the chocolate...but it was a little off. I asked my friend, "Hey dude, do you ever get a mind-fuck off of weed?" to which he responded "Ya sometimes man, if I smoke or eat alot." Soooo, I thought nothing of it, and continued to enjoy this supposed weed chocolate.
At this point my friend and I decided to go to the park across from my house and hang out/watch the sun go down, as we were both fairly stoned. (He smoked some prior to coming over). We left the house, walked across the street, and sat down in the large, green, grassy field of the park. It was summer time, so the plants were in full bloom and things looked o-so pretty.
5:45 PM: I still felt like I was just on some really strong weed chocolates. But the mind-fuck, so I call it, began to get much more intense. Nonetheless, I still accepted this as marijuana and nothing more.
5 minutes later, after lying down, i noticed i was acting a little....odd. My movements were a little laggy, and i kept feeling the sudden urge to lie down in the grass. This process continued of me getting up, lying down, getting up, lying down, until my friend finally questioned my activities.
I gave him a look, and he said my pupils were saucer size. I immediately began to question the chocolate that i just ate.
I lied down, and began to ponder if i just ate a psychedelic or not. As this thought occurred, i looked behind me while laying down and noticed a lone dandelion in the breeze. This dandelion felt very powerful, and stood out from the heaps of grass surrounding it. I felt my vision concave inwards towards the weed (flower?) and it started to sway in the wind. "Yup" i thought, "Im tripping"
This thought did not scare me, until i realized that i had shabbos dinner, with my family, in about 45 minutes!
I looked up at the sky, and the clouds changed through infinite colors, inwards, outwards, blending with the sky behind it. My frame of vision would often be consumed by the colors and i would lose sight altogether, and only the colors would occupy my minds eye. My internal monologue seemed to be at a pause, until the thought of dinner came back into my mind.
6:00 PM: After some classic psychedelic debauchery, i knew i had to go home and adapt to the setting. We walked into my house and went to the basement, and i told my friend i was definitely tripping on a psychedelic. He did not believe me. He thought i was just wicked high. I didnt try to force it, as i really didnt care what he thought. All i knew was that i had to get my shit together in the next 30 minutes, which was a problem as i began to peak.
My dad came home from synagogue, and mentioned that dinner would be in 25 minutes. So, to prepare, my friend and i went to my room to hang out and just be a part of the newfound setting.
I lied down, face flat on the bed, and closed my eyes. I began to see double helix patterns (DNA), and a curved grid like design like that of graph paper, but the crosses were more diagonal and it was shifting outwards. The DNA strands circled around the grid, there were two of them to be exact, and the grid began to pulse in and out.
This was accompanied by more patterning and swirls, until my blissful moment of silence (supposedly, i layed like this for about 10 minutes) was broken by my father asking to talk to me, alone. I immediately felt a sense of dread.
My friend left the room, and my dad shut the door. Uh-oh. "He knows im tripping. O god. This is it. Its all over". But to my surprise, he said something else...
"Son, i have a request. A homeless man from synagogue needs dinner and a place to stay tonight. Hell be over in 10 minutes. Im wondering if he can spend the night in your bed"
My heart settled, and a huge sense of relief came over me, but i was still extremely nervous and felt very scared. I responded hastily and told him "Absolutely, i can sleep in the basement with my friend" and hurried out of the room back downstairs.
As i told my friend the news, he responded with a polite nod. This newfound company made me very nervous though, as an unfamiliar face would NOT help with the already dire situation at hand.
???? PM: *knock, knock*, it was time for dinner. I walked upstairs and met with the guest of the evening. I shook his hand and noticed mine was covered in sweat. My face was flustered, my pupils were large, and i knew this would be bad.
The man, to give you a bit of an idea, was clearly homeless and not well educated, with a bit of a stutter when he talked. My dad then lead him to the table, and my friend and i joined them.
So, there i was, at the table with my dad, best friend, step mother, and a man i had never been acquainted with. My dad began with the starting prayers. I looked at my step mothers face to my right, and her wrinkles began to fall of her face on to her shoulders. I did not like this. I felt a sense of chaos, as my father sang the introductory prayers and everyone sat in silence, while i was sweating and moving around anxiously.
I looked at the table, and all the plates neatly stacked on eachother began to swirl around and melt. After about 30 seconds of staring at them, i thought my plate was going to fall off the table! I quickly jolted my hand towards the plate which made a large thumping noise, causing my dad to stop praying. Everyone was looking at me. My heart stopped, as the plate stood there, still swirling, but far from the edge of the table. I hastily responded "Sorry, almost dropped my fork!" and my dad continued the prayers.
Dear god, was my heart beating. Shit was getting really intense. Everyone's faces were contorting and i was losing control of my sanity. My dads singing pierced my heart with every hebrew word, and the outlander at the edge of the table appeared very ominous.
After what felt like FOREVER my dad finally finished the prayers. We did the customs, and it was time for actual dinner. Conversation began. Questions were asked to our guest, what he was doing, where he had been, etc. etc.
I was overcome with emotion and really was losing my shit. I felt like i was on a rollercoaster of chaos and nothing made sense. I kept thinking "They know, they know, im totally 100% sure they know" and was just waiting for the words to be said. My dad then asked to get the soda out of the fridge.
( This part is weird, bare with me) Our guest was black, you should know for this part of the report. We had grape and orange soda in the fridge, and unknowingly, i put the grape soda extra close to him. I immediately realized what i did, and thought i was being super super, blatantly racist. I got nervous about this and sat down.
In order to make up for what i did, i engaged him in conversation. "So, (guests name) do you like chicken? We have tons of chicken tonight, im sure youll like it."--------Pause----- i think i just said a racist comment. At this point, i believed him to think that i was throwing racist queues at him, and that he was quite frustrated with me. But he responded in a light manner, politely, but i was still extremely nervous.
The past two events left me very unsettled, and i really was losing it in my head. My dad then asked, " So, (guests name) i heard you were in community college. What do you study?" I was really freaking out at this point, and felt like i was going to burst. He replied, with a stutter, "Sociology" and the worst imaginable thing happened.
I was so overwhelmed, and couldn't contain it anymore, and let out a huge burst of laughter. Im talking, LOUD and very apparent. I stopped laughing, and everyone looked at me. Deep stares of anger from my father, disappointment from my step mother, and confusion from my friend. At that point my friend realized i was tripping, and saved my ass by saying "Sorry, i told him something funny. That was inappropriate"
Luckily, that changed up the vibe a bit. I apologized and the conversation continued. I was filled with regret and fear, and i felt a nice purge coming along. A deep squeeze in my stomach, probably from a combination of the drugs and the fear, caused me to run to the bathroom. I tried to throw up, but couldn't. I lied on the floor in pain, freaking out about the events that had transpired this evening. I looked at my face in the mirror, and i was sweating so hard and extremely flustered. Colors were morphing, shapes were twisting, emotions running wild. I washed my face, and decided it was time to go back out to the war-zone.
As i sat back down, i stared at the golden cup on my table (for wine, in the Jewish custom). I saw a reflection of myself and the background behind me, and felt as if i was transported to another dimension. I was looking through a window, a reflection of time and space. Reality became unrealistic, and i questioned perception as a whole. I stared at the cup for a long time, before correcting myself and perking up a bit.
The main course was out, and i absolutely could not eat. Yet somehow, i forced the chicken down my throat. It was so odd, like rubber brushing the roof of my mouth. I felt the strands of flesh get caught in my teeth, and the juice from the chicken filled my tastebuds with disgust. I continued chewing, and it was a "whole thing". The process of chewing and swallowing, caused so many thoughts in my mind, and it felt as if hours had passed, though it had only been 5 minutes or so of eating.
My step moms face looked sad to me, as her wrinkles still fell on to her shoulders, creating swirls and patterns as they touched the sharp bone poking out from her dress. The guest, who had been talking this whole time, looked like a creature from Where The Wild Things Are. My friend, was staring at me anxiously, hoping i wouldn't pull another stunt like before. My dad, stayed engaged with our guest, and his white beard grew across his face in a sinister fashion.
After about an hour and half of more awkwardness, psychedelic patterning, profound experiences, and immense fear...i finally came down a bit. Dinner had ended, and i immediately rushed downstairs with my friend.
Thought loops occured. "Did they know?", "How obvious was it?", "Did i offend our guest?", "How long have i, and how long will i, be tripping?". Over and over again, these thoughts ran through my skull like a machine gun.
My friend told me how the evening appeared to him, and it didn't sound as bad as i thought, but i was still in a panic. I went back to the bathroom (To throw up) but ended up lying on the floor, staring at the diagonal squares of black and white linoleum tiles. They shifted and changed endlessly, creating intricate patterns and shifting colors. Back to the basement i went.
My friend fell asleep, and i looked at the time. 10:30. I layed in my bed in solitude, pondering and reflecting the events that occurred that night. I texted my boss to figure out what was in the heart shaped chocolate she gave me, and to no surprise, it was about 5 grams of mushrooms. I drifted off into a psychedelic sleep, filled with CEV's and all the sort.
I awoke the next day to our guest gone, and my parents sitting reading the paper as usual. I interrogated them to figure out how the night went (Cautiously of course) and everything was normal! Nothing was too bad, besides me laughing after that guy said he was a sociology major, but otherwise everything was fine from their perspective.
I walked away, relieved, excited, happy, and contempt. I wouldn't take this experience back for the world, as in all honesty, it was a lot of fun. Despite how chaotic things got. I learned alot, believe it or not, and the mushrooms were super good!
In any case, thank you so much for taking the time to read my lengthy story, i really appreciate it as it took about 2 hours to write. Much love, and best of luck to everyone out there.