There was 10 of us on shrooms (7 guys: A, D, JC, J, T, L, JM and 4 girls including myself: C, GG, G) and we had one supervisor (B). (I'll be calling everyone by first initials)
We were at my friend C's house which is a huge beautiful house, perfect for 10 of us to trip hard on shrooms. We were all 17-18 at the time and we were nearing the end of grade 12.
I had 3.5g and most of the guys and C had 3g, I'm a small girl but I thought to myself I'm gonna go all in or nothing. So everyone ate them and went to the basement. Me and G were
struggling with the taste so we were the
last people sitting in the kitchen.
At this point I had already started to feel
a tingling sensation in my head, kinda like m. I finished up everything and
popped some tums because I was already feeling extremely nauseous and then me and G finished up and went downstairs to
the basement to join everyone.
I sat in between JC and D and everyone was
slowly starting to feel it. The colouring of the room started to get a bit
brighter and the lights seemed to get brighter, but the things that was the
most noticeable for me was my vision got a bit blurry, not in a bad way. I looked
at my hands and I thought they were shaking a lot so I’m like lets capture this
on video as I thought it would be interesting to see an outside perspective the
so I filmed my hand and then D who was looking around smiling
cause I wanted to show his pupils, I also showed JC's pupils in the
video. In the background everyone was taking about how they noticed it kicking
I look over at the other couch (it is yellow with a blue flower pattern)
and it seemed to be throbbing and everyone sitting on it looked very
cartoonish. There was loud music playing and I remember just sitting there with
this tingling sensation going through my body and this honestly felt so nice.
It was just such a happy powerful tingling feeling that would move up and down
I was talking to JC and we were un-controllably laughing. We made up
some saying that we thought was so clever. It was instead of rolling on m, it
was venturing into the forest, cause shrooms are natural. We thought this was
the cleverest thing.
I noticed how all the guys looked fatter and I’m like I
don’t want to see them this way so I focused on the girls who looked completely
cartoonish. Probably 20 min into sitting into the basement I felt like there
was water on my legs and I’m like oh no did I pee myself. So I got up and
stumbled to the bathroom. I went pee and I didn’t pee myself so I realized it
was probably just my mind messing with me.
I went to the kitchen and L and
A were in there eating my sushi from the fridge. I was like no that’s my
sushi, but I want some. So I took a piece and sat down with them. I put it into
my mouth and started chewing. That was the weirdest sensation I have ever felt.
I could feel every single texture of every single particle in that sushi. It
seemed too complex and I felt like I was killing a living thing so I had to
spit it out.
I talked with L and A for a bit. Then we all went into
C's living room, a couple of the other guys were in there and we were all
sitting around talking. I kept thinking at how weird we would all look to an
outside viewer cause our conversations were so weird. I looked at my phone
cause someone texted me and my phone looked like doodle jump it was so
cartoonish, but looked so round and aesthetic.I remember listening to john
talk specifically and his voice had an echo and it skipped like a broken record and had weird
auditory effects to it.
After a while I went back downstairs to the couches, I
stood there for a bit cause everyone was waving their hands. I tried this and I
saw that I could see the (I’m not sure what to call it) but I could see the
trail of where my hand had been almost like if you have a sparkler in the dark
and how you can write letters out with it quickly. Anyways everyone started
trying this and everyone was laughing so hard. I go to sit down on the yellow
couch because no one was sitting there anymore and I observe the room.
and J I think it was were playing ping pong and everyone looked so happy
talking and laughing and I realized how happy I was and I smiled cause I was
with all my fave people and I was just content with life. I decide to lie
down cause at this point I’m real high. I laid down on this couch and I could see
the people across from me and G was smiling and B was just laughing at
how high everyone was.
I laid there and just listened and looked around. This
is where the room got really messed up and C's house started fading away. I
didn’t feel like I was in her basement anymore. I could see the couch opposite
from me with everyone on it but the scenery behind me kept changing with
different perspectives in C's house so I kept thinking we were in different
The ground kinda became a white blue colour and I noticed that everyone
was a different colour. I remember A being very purple. T, GG and
someone else came back and they asked if they could sit on the couch too cause
I was taking up a lot of room. At that point I had kinda stopped liking the couch cause
it was scaring me how the room kept changing. So I sat on the ground below it
with my knees leaning on the table. I could feel T and GG behind me cause
I was leaning on them but I didn’t really notice or care.
I started watching
the room. I made eye contact with C and we both knew each others feelings
instantly. This is when the room completely faded away the couch across the
room was gone. I could still sort of see the people and their auras and faces
but everything else was kind a blur. It was very bright almost like a light
blue colour and there were random objects moving around (like teacups, chess
pieces, orb things and weird shit like that).
This is when I started forgetting
who I was. I saw all these objects but I had no clue what they were and I
didn’t know where I was either. I had completely forgotten about earth being a
thing and I was in a limbo world. The ground below me started fading away and
this was on my peripheral vision and if I looked down I was flying over a
beautiful white open space.
All of a sudden I realized how high I was and how
I didn’t understand what was happening and the world suddenly faded from being
light happy colours to a dark blue grey. I noticed this right away and I
started panicking and I was scared of falling into a bad trip. I started
spiralling away and down and then I took control.
I made a unhappy face and
then I decided in my mind no and made a happy face. This automatically brought
me back into the light. Then D said its only been half an hour or something
and in my mind I freaked cause I didn’t really like what was happening to me
and what I had just been through had felt like a couple hours.
This whole time
I was trying so hard to control my bodily fluids and I realized that if I let
go I would pee myself. I didn’t understand how my body worked anymore and once
again I had felt like I peed myself and this time I was too high to check if
I did. I thought to myself that everyone was going to laugh at me if I did and
its going to be so embarrassing. I also decided I didn’t like sitting there
watching objects fly around me like I was in a surreal painting so I decided I
would go upstairs to the bathroom.
I knew that bathrooms were associated with
peeing so I went in and shut the door. Once I was in there I had forgotten what
peeing was. I sat on the toilet and tried to pee, but I didn’t know how. I had
to pee but I couldn’t control my body because I didn’t know if it existed
anymore. I could hear everyone talking in the basement below me and I thought
to myself wow that’s very loud, what if I didn’t actually go upstairs and I’m
still down there and I pulled my pants down to pee on the couch. So I stood up
and left the bathroom quickly.
I went back downstairs but I realized I didn’t
really want to be there. And then I walked back upstairs and GG joined me.
My phone was in my hand and I had noticed at how heavy it was. I thought about
phones and realized how pointless it was. I thought how it restricts us from
living our lives. I decided to go put my phone in my bag so I could explore and
live in the moment. I remember walking back to where GG was by the front
door and thinking about how phones were used for calling people and the idea
was so foreign. I was thinking who do I need to call everyone lives here I
don’t need to call people. I then remembered my family and I’m like wait they
are who I could call.
I mentioned family to gabby and she was like omg we have
parents. This was the strangest idea. Okay this next three hours of the trip I
was so messed up that like I cant piece together what happened in what order but I
will just write down snippets.
So for the majority of the time I was just
walking around. I was too scared to sit down again because I didn’t want to
fall into a bad trip again. I would walk around rooms sometimes with people
sometimes not. Mostly I would explore with people. The one thing that I kept
repeating to myself is “I don’t get it” and “I don’t understand” because I just
didn’t know what I was, who I was, where I was or what anything was. I didn’t
know I was human, I didn’t understand my body and if I tried to look at my
hands for example I couldn’t see them. They didn’t exist.
Swallowing was the
strangest feeling in the world as my saliva was very thick. Any bodily
processes that usually would be normal were the strangest thing.
I was asking
very deep questions and trying to understand life. I didn’t understand the
world. Before the trip C's number
one rule was don’t go outside because I’m turning the alarm on. If you hear the
alarm run to the closest bathroom and hide, because this means that my mom came
home. At one point when I was exploring the house alone, this was when most
people were still in the basement the alarm when off. I immediately freaked out because this meant C's mom had returned. I sprinted down the
stairs to the basement and ran into the
bathroom. Shortly after everyone else came in. none of us knew what happened
and we were all freaking out.
We were asking each other what this meant and if
it meant that C's mom came home or what. I remember thinking to myself, if
C's mom did come home and she found me and all of us like this she would
freak. There would be no possible way to control all of us and we were still
all only at the beginning of the trip and it would be a long and insane process. I could hear C screaming up stairs and I was petrified. I
remember hearing knocking at the door cause we had locked it and I was
horrified it was going to be C's mom finding us.
We opened the door and it
was JM. He told us that everything was okay and that someone had just opened
one of the doors and C's mom didn’t come home. Everyone was so happy and we
sat and laughed in the bathroom for a bit. A and JC were looking under the
house and explaining how the house is built on a structure and were all like cool.
Thinking about things like going out,
Facebook, school, relationships were all so weird to me. I remember thinking
about facebook this thing that is in the air and that is almost a maze of
people and words amazed me and confused me. I thought about teens going out
rituals, getting drunk, awkward encounters and not having real conversations to
be the stupidest thing ever. Thinking about structured things like school, this
place that we go to all day to learn was pointless.
I really learned how
nothing actually matters. And how my life is nothing compared to the world.
When I thought about relationships and sex I thought about why and I didn’t see
the point. The whole trip I tried not to say anything to anyone about my
personal life because I was so scared of saying something too personal. Whenever I
started thinking about stuff like that I remember I would have to try so hard
to change what I was thinking about so I wouldn’t say anything.
I also remember
whenever I would think about university and leaving or things like money I
automatically associated it with negativity and would have to think of
something new. I would walk around room to room exploring. Most of the time it
was with GG, JM and then A, JC and T.
C's first floor where the
entrance was my favorite place. When I walked in there, there was a green mist
and it was calm. The marble floor had a 3D kaleidoscope pattern in it and the
ceiling was high up. The colouring in the room was warm and comforting, the
mirror was gold and I remember looking into the mirror thinking about how round
my face was my hair was fun to play with. Just running my hands through it or
flipping it or twirling it was the most amazing sensation.
I remember looking
into the mirror and with my hair and especially with GG's the strands were separately
so pretty and they almost had a life of their own. When ever I would encounter
someone I would yell their names and run up to them. I would either say
something like “I haven’t seen you in so long” or like “I forgot about you” it
was like they were all my family.
C's fancy dining room was the prettiest
room out of them all. It was a light blue with a lot of mirrored and silver surfaces.
The décor was beautiful and it was so nice just to walk around and around. The
kitchen was very symmetrical and reminded me of a painting that I cant find but
I know i've seen before.
Me and GG stayed in C's bathroom on the first
floor on a couple occasions. The first time we were trying to pee. I came into
the bathroom having the sensation of having to pee but once I got in I didn’t
know what pee was or how to pee.
Pretty much everything I did I asked what it
was. I didn’t know what any objects were. Like I would say something like a
lamp and I would ask what it was, cause I really had no clue. I just had no
idea what was happening.
Another time we were in the bathroom, me and GG just stared at ourselves in the mirror, GG was convinced her face was
turning into a rat but I found her face fun to look at. Another time we turned
the tap on and put our hands under the running water. GG was trying to
almost climb into the sink and we both believed that the water was overflowing
and filling up the room. The sensation of the water on my hands was amazing.
There were times in the middle of the trip where scary things would happen. I
would feel like a sharp thing pressing against my skin and I kept seeing blood
on my hands and then I would have to check my body for any cuts and I could
never find any.
Another time in the bathroom there was peeling paint. I touched
some and I was convinced that they were little beetles crawling and they
crawled onto my hands.
Another time when I went down into the basement I saw
pills, needles, alcohol bottles and knives all laying around. I knew this was not
good so I tried to ignore it and block it out of my mind.
Another time we were
all sitting down somewhere. I don’t remember where but I was convinced that I
was sitting in a pile of broken glass and that there was glass in my hands. And
the scary thing was I thought that I was hallucinating that I was fine but in
real life I was actually doing something dangerous and hurting my self or
something. So I asked B if I was doing anything dangerous and she said no
so I believed her.
I remember sometimes walking up the stairs was the most
difficult thing ever and time went by very slowly. The vines in the windows in
the staircase looked like electronic designs and I remember really thinking
that was cool.
B at one point took me on a walk. She held my hand and
walked me around. Holding her hand was the strangest thing ever I couldn’t tell
if I was holding on to her or myself and apparently my quote was “the world isn’t
a place so am I holding you or me right now”. That’s the kinda weird stuff I would
I didn’t know what anything was and I was convinced that I was in a
different farther out universe and that I was almost the observer or a god of
some sort and I was looking down on all these different things. I thought I was
watching the creation of objects or something and I honestly didn’t know what
the earth was, I thought B was just some entity that was guiding me around
this world trying to teach me. B was walking me around pointing at things being like this is a painting, this is a bed etc. and she was bringing me to
the third floor and I remember it being really bright up there and I asked her
“is upstairs dying?” cause I honestly thought maybe I died on this drug and
this is me going to the afterworld.
B brought me to a tick tack toe game
and told me to play. I just picked up pieces and placed them randomly apparently. B
said she was scared for me because I would be looking around and then all of a
sudden focus on something that she couldn’t see, but I was looking at this
thing very intensely but there was not anything there.
There was one point where I was with
T and we were looking over the balcony and it was the coolest thing. It felt
like we were so high up.
Some times I would look at people and their eyebrows
would slide off their faces or their eyes would be mouths.
C's brothers room was
scary. The dark blue and red colours really tripped me out and I didn’t like the feeling in the room. I was
in there with JM at some point and there were fish on the wall and he said:
“that fish is angry at me, and that one is grumpy” he was speaking to these
fish like having a conversation with them.
Something similar is In the bathroom
I turned on the fan and GG went no turn that off it’s an grumpy old man I
don’t want him here.
Me and GG were together most of the time because we
both really liked the feeling in the front hall. Everyone else really liked the
basement, but I didn’t like it. The whole time me and GG kept saying we need
to do our art project (because we brought art supplies) and every time we would start to make our way to do it we
would get distracted with something else.
I remember thinking about time and
not understanding what it was and a image of a clock would be floating around.
I thought time doesn’t exist where I live as I thought I lived in this world I
was in. someone would say something about parents or something or owning a dog
and it was the weirdest thing to think about things or people that were not
there. And I didn’t understand that I had a dog. I didn’t know what I was but
owning another life source seemed cruel, but I remember loving my dog.
remember thinking about water and thinking I know water water is pure water is
good and that was the only thing that I knew what it was.
I said things like lemons, what are lemons?
And I would just mumble to myself about this world I was in and saying how
nothing matters and I would think science that explains things but what is it science.
At one point GG broke the fridge and I remember laughing so hard because she
had no clue at what she had just done and I think it was one of the guys who
came and fixed it. But she had taken some celery and was eating it. She gave
some to me which I put in my mouth and it was the weirdest thing ever I jumped
back in time from when I was chewing that celery and all of a sudden I was sitting
back in the kitchen eating the nasty shrooms again and sitting chewing on one
and I could taste the taste again. I spat it out and automatically I was back
with GG with spat out celery in my hand, but still with the taste of the
shrooms in my mouth.
After I started to realize I was a human
being (this is when I started to come down) me GG and JM and T for a
bit of the time were sitting in our fave place (every time I came back to this
room on my adventures exploring I remember I would say this is my favorite
room, well I had a different thing I said for every room)
were sitting under the mirror and we were talking, things like lemons were the
main topic of conversation at first I didn’t know what a lemon was but I just
knew it was something good and whenever I thought about it and it being yellow
it would make me happy. We talked about freshness and how that is what we feel
is important and we talked a lot about lemons.
I remember JM's blue shirt was
so relaxing and I would hold on to his arm and it felt so strange but it was
calming. JM had a really good positive energy and he was good to be around.
We sat there and laughed about a lot of things like top hats and other funny
things. We thought JM looked like fred from Scooby doo. And we decided that
us three would be the best friends and that we were the group of three.
thought we were in Dubai and we kept calling JM aqua man. I had this page of
geometric shapes from a colouring book that T brought and I found a marker colour
I really liked because it was a nice shade of turquoise and I was just
colouring on the page however I liked.
Slowly everyone started to come up and
we all talked until everyone was in this spot just talking and having a good
time. We called our friend Georgia (who was not there) and JM was on the phone with her and he just said
Georgia Georgia Georgia Georgia lemons tho. We all laughed for too long after that.
We were all really happy and slowly we
were coming back. We then went outside for a walk, but this completely ruined
my mood because it was really cold. The first look outside was so pretty cause it was
a nice colour of purple and it looked straight out of a cartoon, but the rest
was just cold and not fun. It completely sobered me up though.
Some weird quotes I said:
- Apparently I was asking who people were
- I am small I am bambi, bambis my name and I
am small (my nickname is bambi)
- Whats the point?
- I don’t get it?
- Where am I?
- Apparently I only spoke in three word chunk
- I said to T: "I know nothing" He said back: "no you know everything" Apparently it blew my mind and I repeated
that for a while
D says that I:
You didn’t say anything in particular but I
remember you were legit walking around like all motor skills 100% gone. You
were walking like you were 20 shots deep and you couldn’t form sentences
T played this on his computer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mehLx_Fjv_c and I said “it’s a whole different world in
T says: All I thought is that you were like a little kid again, with no cares in the world