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overcoming body dysmorphia and meeting mother nautre
first trip ever
So last night i had my first ever experience with mushrooms. I had previously tried L but I think the dose was much smaller than I was told and I was very underwhelmed with the experience, so I wasn't expecting much. I'm not sure how much I had, probably around 1g or possibly a little more. I hadn't eaten before and I am a small person 5'4" and nearly underweight. Don't really know how that effects a trip but.
Anyways, I ate them while hanging out with a close trusted friend. I was surprised at the taste... not as bad as i had heard from others, and faintly salty. It may just be because i'm a mushroom lover (reg mushrooms). We then went to the market to buy my friend some juice and it was in the parking lot that i noticed the first effects. The pavement seemed beautifully shiny. I felt a little giggly. While inside the market, everything was bright and beautiful. I saw a can of corn and knew i had to have it (Random, I know lol). So we left with our corn and juice and returned to my house.
My friend and I went up into my bedroom and I think they suddenly hit me like a truck. i was laughing at EVERYTHING, a fun giggly type of laughter. My friend looked Beautiful, and I was really appreciating his presence there. I was listening to fun psychedelic rock music. There was this one song... nugget, by cake, that i think i listened to all night. it was amazing.
My voice started to sound different to me, and i really liked the change. I felt pretty, beautiful even. My friend informed me that i couldn't control the volume of my voice and I was talking VERY loudly, like yelling. Friend's beard started to change colors and move around, as well as other visual distortions.
It was around 2 hours after I had eaten them that my friend had to go home. I then sat in my room writing and drawing, but found it very difficult to write neat, straight letters and all of my drawings, though very trippy, were incredibly child-like and odd. At that point I remember wanting to get up, but I felt locked on the ground. Everything in my room looked so cool and it was really distracting. After doing some research on the effects of smoking while tripping, I decided to do so. I smoked just a little and immediately felt the effects strengthen... a lot. My world turned very different. I went downstairs, for a change of scenery, listening to music and suddenly i felt the music inside of me. I started to dance, feeling so comfortable and happy with myself. i danced in front of a mirror, looking at and loving my body for the first time in a VERY long time.
I have body dysmorphia and anorexic tendencies, so usually I see my body as very overweight even though I am 5'4" and 115 lbs. It is almost crippling in everyday life at times. I danced for probably an hour, to this awesome psychedelic spotify playlist that I stumbled upon. During this time I was probably happier than I've ever been in my life.
After dancing and smoking some more, I went to my kitchen to get a snack. I had some rice and apples. The food looked extremely colorful, almost cartoon like. I got to feeling like it was too pretty to eat and didn't finish. Around this time... maybe 1:30 or 2 AM, i got under my covers and listened to music. The darkness unveiled a world of colours, shapes, 3D patterns and strange creatures. When I closed my eyes it was like I was in a different world. This was the most intense part of my trip. A purple creature who was female came to me, she had colored dots up and down her body representing her chakras. I immediately recognized her as Mother Nature. I am a vegan and practice yoga and meditation while following Buddhist values, so i am already an avid nature lover and feel very in touch with nature. I felt pure happiness rushing through my body, purple light pulsating through my veins. Mother Nature was telling me that everything would be okay, that I am a beautiful being and I will help many people in my life and that as long as I stay in touch with nature my life will be joyous.
Shortly after I felt exhausted by the intense experience and decided to go to bed. I slept in very late today. Today, I feel very happy, with a new zest for life. When I look in the mirror I see my body as it really is.... beautiful. And I feel so close to nature now, so loving and appreciative of the world we live in. I feel that psychedelics have made me a more confident, loving, and open person. Though my acid trip was sub par I do feel that it healed my social anxiety. Now, after mush,i feel free of the distorted view of my body. I feel more creative... I was experiencing a writers block (i love to write poetry), and now the words just flow. I have a newfound love for photography and have been taking and editing beautiful pictures. I no longer fear life... Mother nature will always be my friend, through anything.
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