This is the trip where i watched my self die multiple times, it happened about 2 years back and still go over it this day trying to figure out what happened that night....
So the day started of with me and a good mate picking up a tab each at around lunch time hoping to trip together over the next few days. Later on that day i went and visited my dad who I go see every friday night as my parents arent together anymore. The whole time i was with him all I could think about was that tab and how badly i want to eat it...so told my mate that im going to have to do a SOLO mission tonight and go down the deep and mystical rabbit hole.
Around 10pm I decided to take the acid tab. I placed it under my tongue and ohhhh that taste. If you have ever done NBOMEs you will know exactly what I mean by that....strong bitter metallic taste that numbs the tongue for an hour or so and makes water taste like SHIT for ages.
Anywayyy back to the trip....
My mouth started to fill up with psychedelic covered saliva and my dad was still in the lounge room with me so I decided to head off to the bathroom and pretend i was just taking a hugeee shit so i didnt have to bother talking to him with a mouth full of spit. So 10 minutes go by and still 100% sober so just play around on my phone, chat to people..just usual things trying to get my mind of the fact that i just took an extremely strong tab of 25B. I have pretty bad daily anxiety so adding psychedelics to it is sometimes not the best idea...especially amphetamine psychedelics. I calmed myself down abit and reminded myself to let go and go with the flowwwwwwwwww man.
So dad comes up to door and tells me hes off to bed. FUCKKKK YEA , this is real good news... I finally could relax knowing that im free to roam the house with freedom. So out the bathroom i went
it was about 40 minutes since I took the tab but ive read that if you hold it for over an hour it will absorb alot more. Decided to hold it in that extra 20 minutes and im glad i did HAHAH.
Things started to feel strange by then...Feeling those amphetamine like feelings (body rushes, huge pupils, cheshire cat smile plasted on my face and wanting to just run onto the street and talk to everyone). So 10 minutes go by and that usual nausea/anxious feeling starts coming over me. Had to lay down a bit cause it was a bit overwhelming. That feeling passes so i decided to have some cones of the dank adelaide kush. Go inside and look on the wall and there is these snakes covering the wall doing that thing where they wrap them selves around a stick...seen these a few times when ive done nbomes but never on any other drug.
The neighbours dog decided it was a good idea to start barking because we all know dogs are cnts like that. It was annoying me more then it should putting me in an anxious mindset for some reason. I just wanted quiet and peace. The same barking over and over felt like i was entering that evil scary loop and i just felt like going over to the dog and killing it, no joke. Look down at my hands and vines are growing and wrapping themselves around my arms....fuck this is intense and its only been 20 minutes i thought to myself, no going back now.
Felt like more billies so I go outside and have some more. The sky at this point is opening up with fractals x with hurricane looking things kaleidoscoping in on themselves...they felt very threatning and violent almost. No colour to them whatsoever. Thought the sky was angry at me for some reason (those weird as acid thoughts haha)
I walk inside and feeel like something huge is about to come so head straight to my room and start feeling like im repeating my actions then BOOM im stuck on my bed and I see myself on a hopsital table with doctors all around me and felt like i was dying for real, I then proceeded to die over and over multiple times but i never fully died (makes no sense i know, i cant explain it). Mechanical looking gears everywhere roatating into infinity with a weird sound coming from them similar to a humming sound.
Then i start to forget everything I knew before(felt as if i was fighting with myself) and BOOM i finally "die" and i was everything and nothing all at once. I knew nothing but fractals, fractals and geometric patterns EVERYWHERE.
Now youd think that this would be scary but its actually a very peaceful feeling to be gone from painful depression and anxious feelings I go through everyday not under my control..think of it as the flu, no one chooses to feel that way like some people think. So at this point "i" loving this feeling
colours are just everywhere coming towards me and from what i remember cannot see the normal world we call "reality".
so after who knows how long(does time even matter while tripping? No not at all) my identity slowly starts piecing its self togehter bit by bit but never fully.....so go outside and smoke some more cones to settle that strong amphetamine body feel.
Decided to put some tv and just have fun with the visuals. Cant remember what movie i was watching at the time but the lady was sitting on her couch and the patterns from the couch formed together and created these little sillohetes of people with guns shooting at her.
I got to say I thought this was the funniest thing ive ever seen (wasnt violent at all) just really damn funny haha.
enjoy the visuals abit more. Slowly starting to comedown a bit now so go out and have some more bongs and feeling nice and floaty now compared to the intense body rushes i had before.
Head off to my room. put some music on and enjoy the closed eye visuals of myself floating to heaven and seeing the gates, patterns and colours, weird as faces and you know just the strange things tripping shows you.
After a while pass out and wake up feeling like I just ran around the world 1000 times and a bit drained similair to the feeling after a night out on some good disco pellets. Also feeling a bit strange and dissociated as you would after having yourself ripped to shreds.
Years later and im feeling pretty back to normal I guess but still trying to find what I truly enjoy after having my ego ripped to shreds. If this happens to you ever do not do what i do and not bother going out there to refind yourself and sit at home sulking for months straight thinking youve lost your mind. Appreciate the change and go with the flow, find a hobby. Something you LOVE doing...eventually you'll be feeling confident and back to normal. It could take 2 years it could take 5 months. Just live in the moment in enjoy the now is all I can say.
Also for anyone who goes through bad daily depression/extreme suicidal thoughts please do not think psychedelics are going to somehow cure your problems but rather use it as a tool to find why you feel that that way about yourself.
Except if its from drug abuse then i guess your gonna just have to ride that shit out and hope your brain regenerates those good chemicals hahah.
Well thats the end of a fucked up trip report, other ones to come.....