Third Trip

 

The first signs of the shrooms kicking in were sharper details and colors around the room. I own a shitty Magnivox television from the nineties. We watched a movie about a guy climbing up a snowy mountain. The images on the t.v. looked like real life, as if I could reach through the screen and touch the snow. My thoughts were going continually inward while my body high grew stronger. Fits of laughter took hold of me for several minutes. As my brother got higher he leaned forward and rubbed his face. "Dude I'm having a bad trip." A look of dread for things to come painted his face. I told him not to worry about it and that whatever happens he needs to let it happen. Some time passed and I think his trip started getting better. It's hard to know though because he got pretty quiet. I think this is when he went outside while I stayed in. I started to really come up at this point. The t.v. was off and I was just exploring the small living room as if everything was completely new to me. When you think about it everything WAS new since I was perceiving the world in a completely different way. The world to you is the way you perceive it. 

I was constantly refilling my bowl of mint ice cream as it was the most delicious food I had ever tasted. My body and head high continued to grow more intense and I was surprised at the feeling. It was almost too much I felt so good. My body had similar feelings as it does during an orgasm. This persisted for most of the trip but i got used to it, or more accurately distracted by other more profound things. I remember walking around and looking down at the ground. I felt like a giant. The floor seemed a thousand feet away. My bowl of ice cream looked like snow capped mountains. A god like feeling washed over me as if I were watching over my own quaint universe in my living room. Quaint is the perfect word to describe my universe. The shrooms were unlocking a hidden door for me. 

My brother swung the door in walking with a very brisk pace. "I'm sooooo high" he said excitedly. To me it felt like he was returning from an epic journey. I was on the floor huddled in front of the heater. He had a big smile on his face when I looked at him. We made eye contact but I didn't hold it for long. It seemed far too bizarre. It wasn't a bad feeling, quite the opposite but just the thought that he was my brother seemed so intense. It also felt like we were communicating non verbally through our thoughts. At one point I broke into laughter with tears of joy. "I feel so good I almost can't take it" I exclaimed. He went into his room shortly after. Several times I very slowly scanned the room with a look of pure astonishment on my face, eyes wide, mouth agape. I glanced over at the t.v. and instantly went into meditation. I have never even meditated in my entire life before but now I was. My mind went blank and I felt totally zen. A few seconds later I broke from the meditation. Time meant nothing. It seemed like I could physically feel my soul, as if it was part of the body high.  At one point I laughed hysterically at life. It was so damn funny that we exist but have no clue about anything. This was probably my favorite part of the trip. I went into my room shortly after. Things started to get very strange here. 

I lay on my bed and listened to music. I hold mixed feelings about listening to music while shrooming. My emotions get so sensitive and powerful that I am completely moved by whatever the mood of the song is and it gets very intense. I stopped listening to it for this reason and instead put on some white noise and watched a fractal visualizer on my laptop. I felt at one with the universe, as if it and I were the same thing and enveloped the same space. This is where I start to experience feelings I've never felt before. My memory of who I am and my understanding of the world slowly, yet paradoxically quickly begins to pull away. I knew not to fight it but feeling this the first time is pretty uncomfortable, almost frightening. I didn't expect THIS to be what the ego feels like when it begins to shut down. For some reason the black spots on the visualizer felt like they were pulling me in and made me uneasy. I switched to a video of soaring through the universe but that felt too foreign as well after a while. I had to switch to a plane flying over the alps, just so I could see something familiar. 

The white noise in my headphones produced auditory hallucinations. Almost as if my brain was splitting apart some of the noise frequencies and letting me hear them individually. This got too weird for me so I took off the headphones and just laid there, eyes closed. My body and self were drifting away. This is as close to an out of body experience as I've ever felt and seemed to last a long time yet I feel like I only remember a few seconds of it. It must be because I forgot what time was. Closest way to describe the feeling is it felt like the universe paused. Experiencing a great amount of time within a small window. Complete paradox. I was peaking and words fail to describe the experience. It was almost as if my consciousness was going deeper and deeper inward, very much like a rabbit hole. In fact, I don't recall the moment I came out of this. I think I started coming down and opened my eyes bringing myself back, or, my self back.

I smoked a bowl a bit later when I was more myself. I could literally feel the weed affecting my body and mind simultaneously and completely separately from the shrooms, as if I had an outsider's view. Feeling the need to urinate I went to the bathroom but was transfixed by my reflection. It was really cool yet also a tad unnerving. My reflection seemed alive and didn't seem like it was me. Especially my eyes, they felt like someone else's looking right back. I later learned my brother was having a bad trip in his room which is very unfortunate. I've learned so much from this experience and feel more open and connected to the universe and all the people in the world. For those of you who have never tripped on shrooms before this report doesn't even hold a candle to what it was actually like. No trip report can. You will be extremely surprised at what shrooms actually feel like and there really is no substitute for experience.