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Holding on, dealing with a tough trip

Physical pains magnified on shrooms

3.5 grams Golden Teacher Tea

Recipe;

Lemon juice and honey added to coffee cup amount of water brought up to boil one the stove.

Added GT cubes and set to light simmer for 30min

Pulled the water, did another extraction with new water about 10 min. then tossed the spent mushrooms out

Combined the teas about 16oz in total and then boiled it down to a small drinkable amount about 6-8oz, a small coffee cup.

Cooled the brew with the freezer, it had been at a raging boil for about 15 min to condense down.

Some Background

I was working out of town on a construction crew near San Francisco, I had some B cubes from my friend's past grow I had brought along in case an appropriate opportunity presented it's self. I don't have much experience with mushroom general, and I had only tried these B once or twice before with disappointment, they were unexpectedly weak trips. When I revealed that I had mushrooms to some of my crew mates, we immediately made plans to trip on them. There three of us and we went on a hike on Mt Diabo, near Dublin CA. It was so beautiful, the horizon goes on forever, the weather was ideal. But without getting too into detail on different trip, and although I had a great time the B , it was weaker than anticipated. We took three grams a piece.

When I got home from the trip I saw my shroomy friend who had some GT cubes and couple new grows in progress to ogle over. I wanted to explore the psychedelic world deeper, but as I had just tripped at Mt. Diablo I decided to hold on to the shrooms till later so my tolerance would have time to go down. About week later the time had come, I was bored all that week. No working and not really doing anything else. I was worrying about how slow it was going be, maybe I should get another job. I was a bit depressed wondering about what kind of future I was going to have in life.

So my goal, is to have a decently strong trip. I'm not looking to breakthrough, and I want my ego to remain intact. I want to have a nice body high and see some cool hallucinations, maybe go for walk and explore the nearby park. A laid back relaxing sort of trip but stronger than the B , so is the 'plan'. I had been poking around the Shroomery looking at alcohol extraction methods, tea recipes and what not, when I found a discussion about re-dosing. The conclusion I got was that re-dose is basically a tool to extend a trip, not so much to intensify. Any taken after the two hour mark is basically a waste, if you want to intensify your trip. You should take more early, before the peak. So with this advice I set myself on the road to travel.

I make the tea, boiling it longer this time and doing an extra extraction. I usually steep it for only ten minutes, give the mushies a squeeze and sip her down slowly. This time however I am going to basically down the whole dose -- take more early. I suspect that with the B , I didn't extract the goodies enough and I took to long to drink it.

The trip

My tea is ready and I'm watching a rerun of Star Trek. I gulp about half the cup, and I think 'ooh that is good'. This tea has just the right amount of honey and lemon, I had also put a lemon ginger tea bag there too when the brew was cooling in the fridge. Definitely found the way I am going to make my tea for next time. I wait a minute to feel settled and then finish the cup. I had a brewed a half gram tea on the side, so I could 'up the ante' if I wanted to later. I feel good, a little tired and my back is a little sore from hunching over the computer the past couple days, but I feel good. I don't know whether to lay down or sit in the chair.

I'm watching Star Trek but I'm not that into it, my mind waits in anticipation for the first signs of coming up. Not long to wait, fifteen minutes later I feel the buzz, its soft, and subtly sudden. Like someone slowly stepping into a room, where they were outside but *now* they are inside. The house is different just like that, semi-surreal. But I'm a little buzzed, and excited for the scene to unfold. Over the next fifteen minutes, its like driving up a hill, with a bit of foreboding slowly but irrevocably getting higher and higher, the buzz is reaching up to the headspace where I will explore shroomland. I get a gentle but rush of electricity that feels like an orgasm. I think to myself "yes!" and with it I feel my stomach get a tinge of nausea. I don't worry about it, it's just coming up it will go away later. At this point time has slowed down because the next thirty minutes felt like over an hour. And yea, I'm coming up now! HOly shit.

I can't sit still anymore, I'm restless, I get up and start pacing. Ah yuck my stomach is more ill, my crap back soreness is more pronounced. The unfiltering of mind I suppose is letting me feel the full brunt of my sore back. Ugh I hoped this wouldn't happen, how can I get comfortable and enjoy the trip? My house now == the hallucinatory world beckons, strongly the space's proportions are changing, it's like being on a sail boat rocking the sea. I feel off balance, like a staggering drunk, I guess I have sea legs because I'm still able to pace the house with ease. It sooths me, the pacing, because I feel really nauseated when I stop moving. I look at my bed "soothe my back for me" and wall behind the bed is stretching high the bed warping in thickness it's self curving up from the suction so it seems. I want to relax my back, I want to lay down, but the restless nausea won't let me be still. There is not a straight line left in the whole world, everything is curving and waving. I continue to stagger the deck of this ship at sea, then sudden a rush, OH holy crap everything became so distorted I almost fell over from the sudden gust of it. I have got lay down or hurt myself. Stone-cold-drunk I clear a space on the floor, as look down the floor is curves away from me like I am standing on a hill. The space is ready "thank god" and I lay down, gushing all around me. I stare at the ceiling that has a knock down plaster finish. I try to calm myself, and blot out the worry of the physical discomfort getting worse. My back is sore as fuck. Ahh, I take some nice deep breaths and theres wonder all around. I stare the ceiling that is a river of bubbles, they are like looking up in the water of a fish tank, the lids flattens the bubbles out. I can hear Star Trek playing, Captain Picard's voice, the other characters talking. I'm just enjoying the ceiling show, then I hear something, I don't know what it was it was so fleeting. Then Again, and this time I hear it clearly -the voices are talking backwards, whoa! The conversation continues and randomly gets interrupted with backwardsness. Thats cool. I feel better, my nausea is unpleasant but bear it ok, my back still hurts. I'm ignoring it as best I can and staring at the world above me ^^ in front of me. The river of bubbles now eddies into Aztec like shapes. Forming and changing never a motionless moment.

Oh no! argh, ah cramps in my feet, like my toes want to curl so hard and break they'll selves off, its moving up my legs! my calves, shit! it hurts like hell. I stand up, Star Trek voices talking backward more than forward, I got to walk these out. I'm disturbed and disoriented standing up, my stomach rolls. I start to pace "cramps don't get worse," I plead. My world is crazy, everything is warbling too and fro, I stagger through like the woods in the dark, the branches my sick feelings push them out of the way. That fucking STAR TREK- whish now what rar nees bageth. I Got to change the mood things are taking a bad turn, panic rising How THE HELL do I do work this COMPUTER, everything is so jumbled and moving. I close my eyes standing there and in one second - bright and dark warping geometrics, back and forth, flashing, its tooo much to stand, I open my eyes. A hurried click of the mouse "no, that not what I wanted to do" crap! I can't work this. Pace it out. Okay, okay, try again. I feign a focus, I'm losing my mind to every passing whim. Racing thoughts, strong emotions of panic panic panic! I'm lost in a maze and just realizing it <> that I am lost. Breath in, take a deep breath. I try to calm myself down, then just as I try to pace through it another rush swirls everything in view like water down the toilet, it forces me to the ground where I don't need to have balance.

I roll over onto my stomach, oh not like this too crazy. I move to lay on my side. My arm pillow is freaking me out I feel its stretching off of me. Back on my back staring up, the ceiling boils and simultaneously waves like jello. Some deep breaths, I find some peace, and the pain of my body is tolerable. The scene of the ceiling was a calming show to me, just so freaking cool to look at and also familiar territory. I'm so fucking high! how much higher will I go? Damn... I'm not ready to go ANY higher. Its okay, what comes, comes, I console myself. with Words only //// meanwhile I in reality, I feel the grip of the inescapable forces that be. There's no turning back, I just want to come down, oh god I just want to come down, I just want to hold on... Another rush is about to surge, slipping losing my mind, agh but I am still here. Ah ha, Got through that one okay! I stare off into the ceiling, I am far away from home, out in the ocean. The usual flow and eddies of the boiling ceiling create ancient images again. Then in a moment instead of being a skin like surface the ceiling shoots out away from me, and I am struck with awe by sight it expands out into. I am now standing at the bluff of a roman villa and scene in front of me is the shimmering white estate of this land. I can look out and for miles and miles, all the way to the horizon. There are pathways and gardens off spinning in live animation down the valley before me. There a classic Roman building with pillars and all. I have one slow moment all this, I try to look at the different part but I am cut short and the 3d scene collapses back into normal crazy hallucination. That moment marked the peak, the highest I would go, also the farthest I have ever gone. Revealing to me what may lie ahead.

Although I don't yet know it I am actually climbing down the mountain now, but its so massive I don't feel like I am moving at all. I get a wave of nausea I got get up to try and soothe it, Star Trek ended on its own, and the TV is black. How long has it been, there no way to know. I move the mouse to wake it up and manage to play some music. I pace for while, and try not to feel sick, the feet cramp went away some time earlier, my back is less of an issue, this is hour two moving over to three. I finally realize that this is it, the anxiety of unknown heights leaves me. I just got to make it through rest. I want my physical discomfort to end. I decide to try to throw up, after a while I am able to get down enough water to try. I go to the bathroom the whole room is stretching, the top stretching right and the bottom left, oh-kay here we go. I reach forward almost into nothingness, reaching into a black closet, will I actually touch something? Dimensions are so out of proportion, but I grab the toilet easily, and finger down the throat till I puke and puke. I stand straight up everything has colored hues of green and purple, fading and brightening, cycling. Leaving the bathroom I resume my routine of pacing. But I get a panicy feeling, want to change the music it making things weird. Ugh...what will it be? I remember Bob Marley soothed my friend out of a bad trip. Bob Marley save me from this panicy feeling. I don't have him on a Pandora channel! Using the computer is difficult, this time I did it, and the panic subsides... I hear music. After a bit I here a spiritually themed song, and become enveloped in the emotions of it and.. I.. just.. long.. for.. God. I say I want God in my life, oh God I want God in my life and I am so very sad, but then I percieve the attitude of the singer, his spirituality shines through. I am transported into what must be his point of view, where God exist in my life, I see the streets, places of where he is performing this song, and what is different is that God is there, I just meditate here for awhile, I feel it. I've paced through some songs, the vision has gone and I lay down.

I stare at the ceiling world for few minutes, I'm getting a head ache now. Few minutes later Its getting worse, its feeling like my head is a balloon being pumped with blood. Ahhh too much blood, the pressure is stretching my head all around and out from my right eyeball. My temple on the side of my head is throbbing with a head ache pain. I feel like that side of my head is swollen bigger than the other, when I stand up and look in the mirror my right eye ball is huge, and I look like a freak a ghoulish alien looking back horribly. I am disturbed. Oh god! I'm going to have a brain aneurysm, jeez, the throbbing pain, stop! I can feel my blood vessels stretching to the limit! What to do? If I die then I die, I just don't know. There is nothing I can about it. HOld on. PUMP PUMP PUMP, for about ten minutes I suffer the worst of it. But for the rest of the come down I have this head ache to lesser and lesser degrees, I don't care about looking at all the crazy stuff anymore, I want these pains to end. I just pace. Pacing seem to normalize the environment, as if because I'm not staring at something my mind doesn't have time to create. The actual dimensions of the room are perceivable this way, normal reality arms length.

By hour five I start feel a real sense of return to normalcy, I got headache and I'm high but not so bad now, moving into hour six I crack a beer and drink myself to sleep.