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Insanity at its finest

From the Boogey Man to black Jesus.



I'm seventeen I've smoked weed, drank, smoked 10X salvia, and tripped twice on an eighth of  p. cubensis each time, and this is a report of my third ever trip.  For a period of several months most of my good friends frowned upon my new found fondness for psilocybin mushrooms, but with a little perseverance I persuaded two of my closest friends, and another friend, who only recently came to my school but I immediately bonded with upon his arrival.  Anyways, none of my friends had ever tripped before, and having only tripped twice I may have slightly underestimated the potency of an eighth of friendly neighborhood shrooms, and recommended that each of us take an eighth.  Not to sound pretentious, but I'm an extremely sound minded and logical person, and on my first trip I had managed to deal with the profoundly mind-fucking effects of shrooms in order to have an amazing trip.  I assumed incorrectly that my friends would be capable of this same feat.

With a half day and good weather coming up my friends and I decided that it would be a good day for our adventure, and so we planned to take our shrooms right at 11:05 AM in the parking lot after school and then make the ten minute drive to my house, and set up my friend's T.V. next to mine so that we could have twice the Skyrim for our trip.  Being the stereotypical teenagers that we are, it wasn't until about 1:00 that we all managed to all rendezvous at my house, but on the bright side, we picked up another good friend T2 who planned to just smoke until she had to leave for work at about 2:30.  Just before eating our eighths my friend D who had brought the T.V.  realized that he hadn't brought any controllers for his xbox and that he wasn't going to go to all that work setting up the T.V. to not play his video games.  Myself, T1, and J decided we were too anxious to wait any longer, so we ate our shrooms at approximately 1:10, and that D would just have to wait till he got back because we weren't ok with him driving and tripping.  He demanded company though, so he took T1 with him.  And so it was settled, the shrooms were eaten and it was only a matter of patience now.

J and I settled into play some Skyrim while T2 watched, because girls just don't understand why guys love Skyrim.  Oh, and I suppose that it is worth mentioning that we each consumed anywhere between 6-18 miniature oranges each throughout the course of the morning, and nothing else.  Anyways, we chilled for a while, and maybe a half hour to forty-five minutes later, J and T2 decided to go smoke a bowl.  I unfortunately couldn't, as my only job option at the time appeared to be a place with mandatory drug testing.  I stood with them as they smoked out of the sliding glass door in my room, and I noticed that the plants outside all had a somewhat surreal look, and there appeared to be spirals of some sort drawn in the smoke clouds from their hits.  That was just the first small wave of the impending storm however, and soon I felt completely normal again.  At this point J decided he needed to pee, he walked out of my room only slightly high from the weed, but then on the way back he ran into my room yelling about how "there are zits on the walls" and how he "was being chased by the fucking Boogey man!"  Laughing hysterically, T2 and I asked him why he though he was being chased by the Boogey man.  (As a side note, I love people's though processes when they are tripping).  J said that he looked at my retainers on the bathroom counter and that they "looked like little red monsters."  He then claimed that "they barked at him, but he had scolded himself for being so naive as to think that a couple of retainers had just barked at him."  But then the realization had hit him that if it wasn't the retainers that had barked at him, something clearly had!  And what better to suspect than the boogey man?  After having a good laugh, we attempted to play Skyrim but found it horrendously boring, much to our disappointment, as we had assumed that it would be the best thing ever while tripping.  We called T1 to see where he and D were, and he answered the phone by shouting "The bushes are moving!!!!"  This provided us with another good laugh, and we were relieved to find out that they were only about five minutes away.  After what seemed like forever, they arrived, and D ate his eighth and went to go take a shower because he hadn't taken one yet today. 

I'm assuming it was almost  2:00 at this point we were all still coming up fast.  T1 claimed to feel extremely cold, and wrapped himself up in my incredibly comfy bed and blankets.  J was babbling nonsensically and laughing on the couch, and T2 was so stoned that she couldn't stop laughing at us.  My body high was getting intense at this point and even though I was sitting on the bed, I felt as if my arms were pressed up against the bed.  (Very strange, and somewhat disconcerting... :P).  I was slightly surprised to find that T1 was on the brink of tears from not being able to get out of my blanket (it's huge and fluffy), and I felt it my duty to help him.  He said that "this was all just too much to handle", so I comforted him and asked him if there was anything he needed.  He asked for a Dr Pepper, and I was glad when this cheered him up.  He later described drinking the Dr Pepper as "Akin to swallowing a little man and having him furiously punch you the whole way down."  We all just went back to chillin', and I noticed that there was some sort of alien language scrolling matrix style down my jacket, and onto my jeans.  I found this extremely exciting and asked my friends to help me decipher it.  J replied that he was busy "closing his eyes and watching my ceiling lights make cool shapes", but T1 and I spent a good amount of time trying to find meaning in the writing that had suddenly appeared all over my plain white blanket.  At this point, T2 reminded us that it had been our goal to do calculus, so I got my textbook out.  Unfortunately however, it was less than a sentence before I came to some sort of illegible symbol.  I aked T2 what it was, and she replied "it's a square root symbol dummy!" :).  We came to the conclusion that she was clearly lying.  D was taking fooooooooorevvver in the shower so we decided to go for a short jaunt into my front yard just for something to do.  We all ran out onto my street yelling how hard we were tripping, and other statements of a similar ilk, when we noticed my neighbor had been in the process of getting into his car.  However, that was before several teenagers ran by him yelling about the street breathing and the clouds changing colours.  We stared at him, sobered momentarily by his expressing of pure confusion, and he stared back, wide eyed and open mouthed.  And as shameful as I am to admit it, we then proceeded to leg it back to my house and hide in my basement.  D still wasn't out of the shower (clearly in there wanking), and for some reason this began to irritate all of us.  Some very nasty things were said about D and his habit to be incredibly self-centered and irresponsible, and although we can blame it on the shrooms, we all know that they just brought out how we actually felt.  T2 had to leave for work at this point, which was incredibly distressing to the three of us, and after one big group hug she was gone.  Feeling utterly lost, we proceeded to sit in my basement, until T1 commented that he felt like he was covered in slime.  And, due to the nature of shrooms, J and I immediately felt the same.  I still remember the sensation clearly and I can tell you it was... very, very unpleasant.  And just before things took a turn for the worse,  our friend Z randomly showed up and D finally got out of the shower!  I persuaded him to watch over us "lucky bastards"  in exchange for one very solid, and very large hash ball.

It was about 3:20 and Z agreed to drive us down to the beach so we wouldn't be around for my parents coming home from work at 4:00.  The car ride to the beach was.. interesting.  At first the car seemed to be about the same size as my room, and everything outside the car appeared to be fake, but when we pulled up to the beach the car seemed suddenly to shrink radically and become extremely cramped.  We all just sat there quietly listening to Sublime and enjoying ourselves while Z smoked a little, but J's mom sent him a text saying that he needed to call her, and this just about gave me a heart attack.  Despite being a first timer tripping his ass off, J somehow managed to stutter and mumble his way through the conversation without arousing suspicion of his current activities.  We were all so happy for him, and decided that it would be a good time to go swing.  On our way over to the swings we saw another hid with a skateboard who looked close to our age, so not thinking I waved at him and smiled.  It took me a second, and a punch from Z, to realize how bad of an idea it was to invite over a stranger while we were tripping.  After a few very awkward attempts at holding a conversation we all just kind of stood around in silence with the kid.  Out of nowhere the kid suddenly said "So...... I'm on some shrooms right not."  The next few moments were a blur of happiness and shouts of "us too!"  D and the stranger both talked about how they weren't really feeling anything except light-headed, and I got part way through telling them that it would kick in when I got distracted by the fence.  D decided he needed a smoke, and with the first hit of weed he says that "his world literally fragmented into a bunch of colours before re-forming", and that " he tripped balls really suddenly after smoking a little."  After chilling and tripping out in the playground for a while, the stranger still disappointed at his trip, left to go find a nearby party.  As he walked away T1 suddenly looks confused and asks us if we were just talking to that kid. :P  Who knows what time it was at this poitnt, but despite seemingly tripping for hours so far, our adventure was just beginning!

We decided it would be fun to all walk down the beach, and at this point Z was enjoying being our guide finally, as he could control our trips and find cool things to show us.  We walked quite along ways down the beech, and I was getting some amazing visual!  when I looked down it appeared as if I was walking on top of a multi-coloured cloud!  The ocean looked fake, and like it was wrapped in seran-wrap, and when I looked over at the trees...  There is no way to some it up in our language, but I'll do my best.  As in my previous trips, the trees moved and appeared as if they were a very vivid painting, but this time there were layers of... non-reality... in between the trees in which an endless void filled with strange zodiac symbols called to me.  We finally made it to our destination, which previously had been known only to Z.  It was this easily climbable bluff and to a flat forest area, and another steeper climb up and around to get to the top of a cliff from there, but this area was special.  This was where all of had spent our childhood, and the sudden surge of memories it brought back was almost unbearably pleasurable.  I won't go into too much detail, but we spent hours there playing on the bluff and knocking huge pieces of clay down off of the massive cliff!  Words don't do justice to the happiness I felt the whole time at the cliff.  All of us just threw away all our cares in the world and played like little kids.  It was a truly amazing experience and it brought all of there together as inseparable friends.  We sat and talked as both us and the sun came down, and realized that the silly "reputations" we all work so hard to maintain at school and in society are idiotic, and that we had just spent the whole day being ourselves and just running wild and it had been probably the best day of all of our lives.  Since this trip we have all decided to just be ourselves, and everyone who disapproves can just fuck off.  My life has improved drastically and I now feel that I am more honest with myself and everyone around me.  

We walked back in mostly silence as we all just needed time to absorb everything we had taught each other and ourselves that day.  By the time we came back to the car we all felt totally down, but were surprised when as soon as Z started driving we all started tripping again!  It was dark by now and we were listening to dubstep, and I thought we were in a spaceship, and J thought were in a caterpillar. :D  We decided it may be a good idea to go get gas so we could come down a little further before I had to face my parents, so we drove into Coupeville.  Right as we were about drive away, this black guy in a very expensive looking BMW rolls up next us and rolls down his window.  We roll ours down to but are all looking at each other like "What the fuck?!"  So anyways, the dude rolls us rapping and then stops and says (I remember most of this be heart, but we also sneakily video taped half of it): "I just thought of a quote, which I'm gonna share with you all.  Don't drive for the other guy! You know how they tell you in drivers ed to drive defensively? To drive for the other guy? Nah.. Fuck that.  You drive for yourself.  It shouldn't have to be your responsibility to drive for that guy who just got dumped, got hammered, and is speeding down the road in your lane.  I was driving down Madrona just now and I could see all the souls of all the people who have died from driving drunk in the trees.   You kids just stick with a little greenery for your scenery and you ain't gonna end up like them.  You look at the obituaries and you never see no man who smoked a hundred blunts and went and crashed his car or beat his wife.  You stick to that greenery and you'll be good, but you start mixin' that other shit in there and you gonna get busted.  That nigga at your school? That new coach? (who is also black) That mutha' fuckin' nigga get busted man! He got busted!  Don't end up like that nigga. (We still haven't figured out what he was referring to.. I'm kinda wary of the new coach though now)  It's law off avoidance man, 9 out of ten times you be good but that one time and you're gonna get fucked up.  Sol that's why you gotta just stick with that greenery for that scenery.  I mean look at me, I'm like 45 and I still get pusssssy.  I'm sure you kids know how it is, you don't just have one girl.  You got a girl that's a friend, you got a girl that's a friend, you got a girl that's a friend.  I mean why have the heifer when you could have the whole heard?"  Then he rapped some more, and we all attempted to deal with the mind fucking he had just put us through.  Finally, he said" I just y'all on god time.  You all been blessed and now you ain't never gonna have to worry about ending up like those other poor souls."  And then he drove off.  Now keep in mind, J, D, T1, and I were all on shrooms, and Z was high as heaven when this occurred.  This would have been insane when we were sober.  This black philosopher had just blown our minds and then blessed us.  We sat in shock for like five minutes at the gas pump, before J finally said "If there's a God, that was him."

After the most unforgettable and life-changing day of my life, we finally went back to my house, and just stayed up the rest of the night talking about life, the universe, and beyond.  I thank mushrooms for allowing us to all open our minds and come closer to each other, and I know that even on my deathbed I will happily remember this day.  I hope to trip again soon, and I'll update this if we ever manage to put the video on youtube.  Thank for bearing with me, I know this was long but I fell as if it's all necessary!                                  

MRCA Tyroler Gluckspilze
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