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100 ways to not have fun

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------The following report is what I remember of my first mushroom trip last year.



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The following report is what I remember of my first mushroom trip last year. After this experience I have had many others.
_It was about 9 AM when I layed out all of the dried mushrooms. The eighths were more beautiful to me than they would have normally been. I have tried so hard in the past to get ahold of my very own eighth, that this was incredible to actually have the option of consuming all of it.

_Friends warned me to trip with a friend, but I didn't listen. I didn't care; I was too ignorant. All I cared about was tripping balls, which I accomplished very well, but I wish I had listened.

I consumed a little more than half the eighth and washed down with orange juice. Immediatly after eating them I felt a small rush, but it might've just been my anxiousness kicking my ass.

I sat myself on my computer chair and dosed off into the goa trance. The music soon became wider and I felt the trip coming on. The people online that I was chatting to, seemed farther away than normal. I felt like my connection was suddenly lost.

I realized my trip had kicked in very fast. It had only been 15 minutes and I was definently tripping. I ran to my mirror to check if it was really true, if I was really tripping. My pupils were already the size of quarters.

As soon as I noticed this, my visuals kicked in...and fast. The walls were oddly bright. Every breath I took the walls came with me. I controlled all. This wasn't all that great of a feeling. I felt more alone than ever.

I tried to ignore the feeling and ventured on. I ran to another mirror. After staring into my eyes a second, I burped. The burp roared for what seemed like an hour. After I was done releasing the gas I looked in the mirror. Apparently, I wasn't done burping; I was watching myself finish inside the mirror.

My excitement blew up. I ran outside to experience nature. My backyard was so different. I noticed that everything and all was made out of pure shapes: The patio was made out of squares, the grass was made out of triangles, and the trees...Oh my god, the trees.

The trees were made out of 3D diamonds which almost made me cry from such a beautiful site. I felt like a video game character.

I went back inside, this is where it gets bad. I go back online to talk to some friends. Know one was online. I suddenly felt terribly hot. I was sweating heavily and life seemed to be passing by me.

"I was alone. I had no friends. Parents didn't love me, they took care of me and they would leave. I am alone, and always will be" I thought.

I felt the need to tell my parents what I did, and tell them goodbye. I felt that I was exceeding in my trip and I would never come back. I picked up the phone ready to call. I put the phone to my ear, then I realized that I would regret it later. I hung up and found myself more scared than ever.

I still felt very alone. My sister woke up, which almost a relief until she kicked me off the computer. When I stepped out of the computer room, shapes colided with eachother. My dog, snapple was made out of hundreds of tiny shapes.

I layed on the couch, hoping that if I fell asleep my loneliness would end. THis is where it may of gotten worse. I felt more lonely than ever and felt that my sister was living a lie. No lines existed, only shapes. Lines were just a stupid consept that made no sense.

I almost started crying. Everything seemed so plain and dull. Cartoons were just images on a screen, and talking was pointless. I no longer knew who I was. Matt didnt exist. I was nothing more than a lost brain. I tried to remember what I liked to do, and what kind of person I was.

My sister passed by again which almost scared me to death; why was she here? Do I have a good relationship with her? I wasn't even sure if she was a lover or not. My world was collapsing until Shaun, a good friend of mine, called.

All i remember saying was "dude...come over...dude...please...dude, nothing's good"

He assured me I was alright and that he was going to get ready, then come over.

I turned on the TV again with lack of knowledge if I liked it or not. I soon realized nothing made sense on the screen. I was watching Who's Line is it Anyway on Comedy Central, but it made no sense.

The people were talking pure jibberish. No real words were said. The skits were pointless and made no sense. It was like watching a dream. The actors were running around in circles talking jibberish to one another.

My sister came back out and started to talk to me. She knew I was tripping by this point, and I think she was asking more for shrooms, but I have no idea. She was also speaking pure jibberish. I told her to stop fucking with me. I was almost sure she was just doing this to make me miserable. The TV was also fucking with me.

Shaun soon arrived. I answered the door so happy to see him. After this point, everything suddenly got better. It was almost like living in paradise.

Shaun was assuring me I was alright and asking me what I was seeing. His freckles were moving around his head, and the middle of my coffe table was sinking in. The shapes kept increasing until I noticed they no longer existed.

Life was suddenly good again, and I had never been so happy to be back on earth. I had made such a journey that life itself didn't compare to it.

Shrooms are amazing

P.S-Things I said that I wasn't aware of

I randomly, in the middle of another conversation, said "Life is sometimes great in retrospect. Despite the september 11th thing, this was a good yr"

"Why are you so far away" to my sister when she was a foot away

"Life is a cliff with no water"


Oh yeah...never, EVER trip alone. It is maybe the loneliest thing you will ever experience.

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