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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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My Highest Aim in Life..
    #5028512 -

is developing my ability to accept and enjoy my life experiences, whatever they are at the moment. The pleasure inherent in surrendering to reality is far beyond that derived from external rewards.

While it is seen as more noble and unselfish to devote oneself to serving others, IMO we cannot serve others from an empty cup. However, in my experience, generosity and compassion flow naturally when I am in a state of joyful surrender.

From the outside, my actions toward others would be indistinguishable from those of someone who has chosen to put others ahead of themself. The difference is in the internal experience of being "of service." I know that my generosity toward others is voluntary, and that my choice to give or not does not alter my value as a human being. When it is appropriate to say "no" to others and "yes" to myself, I do not view it as a failure. I do not put strings on my support of loved ones, so they can accept what I offer without taking on an obligation.

IMO, this is a state only reachable from the inside-out, not from the outside-in. All the work I do to improve my ability to enjoy my life will benefit others, but that is not the primary goal.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5028834 -

When it is appropriate to say "no" to others and "yes" to myself, I do not view it as a failure.

Absolutely.  I take care of numero uno first myself.  Better more for me than more for the other guy (gal).

:thumbup:


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Anxiety is what you make it.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #5029274 -

..is life!

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Gomp]
    #5029912 -

Wu shih.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5033250 -

Nice elaboration of your stances on this matter. This reminds me of something I've read some time ago, which touched upon two fundamental approaches regarding profits and building [or business in general].
One says: "I build in order to have profits.", whereas the other says: "I have profits in order to build."

Whereas one places service to others and general philanthropy as the highest priority, the other places their self-enrichment as their highest priority. Yet, neither of them necessarily exclude the secondary priorities that are found in the opposing approaches.
In fact, both priorities are mutually contingent upon each other; for in order to attain self-enrichment, one must first build to the extent which fosters such enrichment, and for one to give philanthropic service [in all myriad forms from soup halls to global business], one must first be self-enriched to the degree or extent which cultivates such actions.

The question arises then, what metric can we use to determine which of the two approaches are of the highest good, or the least objectionable?



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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5033269 -

SkorpivoMusterion said:
The question arises then, what metric can we use to determine which of the two approaches are of the highest good, or the least objectionable?



A meter stick with its smallest increment being the millimeter? :smirk:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


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:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5033759 -

My "metric" is purely subjective: the levels of peace and joy I experience in my daily life, as compared to the amount of emotional disturbance I create for myself with my choices.

Beyond the direct benefit to me of experiencing my life as positive and worthwhile, those around me seem to benefit most from my presence when I feel peace and joy more often than I feel stress and pain.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5033813 -

Awesome post :thumbup:

"I do not put strings on my support of loved ones, so they can accept what I offer without taking on an obligation."

This is a huge piece of what our culture is missing, IMO


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I have considered such matters.

SIKE

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5033871 -

Yes, I understand that you have your own personal preferences in prioritizing the approaches which you follow. However, that doesn't quite answer my actual question - as it relates to what was written prior to.



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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5033905 -

This makes alot of sense to me and sounds like what I've been explaining to my sister reccently.

If I'm happy in my life, and feel a high sense of well being, and love, then I want to spread that feeling and therefore am at the service of others. It has nothing to do with expecting something in return, or even trying to be a "good person".


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~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5033977 -

Quote:
Whereas one places service to others and general philanthropy as the highest priority, the other places their self-enrichment as their highest priority. Yet, neither of them necessarily exclude the secondary priorities that are found in the opposing approaches.



While service to others does not necessarily exclude self-enrichment, the finite nature of our energy (and lifespan) will sometimes require that we choose between giving to others and giving to ourselves.

IMO, giving to others is equal to giving to oneself so long as it is done without a sense of duty, guilt or obligation. The presence of any of those three related motivating factors (again, IMO) kills the spirit of the gift, drains the individual's energy, and will eventually kill the spirit of the relationship.

As to an objective means of evaluating the two approaches,
I'm not certain one is possible. On an individual basis, I would recommend an inventory of motivations.

If it is possible for the individual to always put others first without the negative prodding of guilt, etc..., then that approach is equal to putting oneself first. In my experience, it is NOT possible to always put others first without negative inducements & the ensuing consequences.

If putting oneself first is motivated, not by self-esteem and healthy self-interest, but by fear or hatred, then that approach is unequal to putting others first. In that case, personal counseling would be necessary to restore the individual to emotional health prior to pursuing a "self-centered" approach to life.

Does that better answer your question?

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5033985 -

you use the best graphics of anyone.
so
I will have to assume that however formally framed your expression may be, your heart is definitely in the right place.

I aim to get over it, and to keep doing that.
I guess I am more entangled with the vines and the thicket.


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5034016 -

I will expand even further upon what I have said...

my ultimate aim with my approach to life is to regain my childhood ability to love EVERYONE wholeheartedly.  Because I withdrew my love from myself first, as most of us learn to do, I am returning it to myself first and best.

But the goal of loving myself first and best is not to become an island, but to rejoin the flowing river of experience I remember swimming in when I was three years old and younger.

I believe that I am moving closer to this goal, because my daily experiences include frequent "rushes" of love for my friends, family, and even strangers who allow a moment of open eye-contact as we pass.

:heart:

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5034113 -

While service to others does not necessarily exclude self-enrichment, the finite nature of our energy (and lifespan) will sometimes require that we choose between giving to other and giving to ourselves.

Yes, of course.

IMO, giving to others is equal to giving to oneself so long as it is done without a sense of duty, guilt or obligation

I am cognizant of this and agree.

As to an objective means of evaluating the two approaches,
I'm not certain one is possible. On an individual basis, I would recommend an inventory of motivations.

This is where you get closest to answering my question. If we were to establish more objective criterion for evaluating the two approaches, what factors would we need to look at? If we give and service not only to humanity but to ourselves, because it is beneficial to our existence, then a criteria which one can establish to evaluate the two approaches is the degree of benelovence given.
To apply this to an immediate example, sending eight thousand crates of canned food to the needy and less fortunate in a third world country where food is scarce would be a higher aim than feeding oneself a bowl of campbell's soup. This isn't to say that one must suspend all sustanence-intake until the others have recieved their food, of course. On the contrary, if one is to maintain such a degree of benelovence, one must also maintain the proportionate degree of benelovence to oneself.




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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5034165 -

of course being focussed on extreme sports like this is a totally mad challenge.



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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5034363 -

Perhaps there is no need to designate higher and lower (or greater and lesser) aims until a conflict arises between the activities you would undertake to fulfill those aims.

To use your example, if you could afford to send soup to third-world peoples AND feed yourself, there is no conflict.

But the conflict between caring for myself adequately and responding to the needs/desires of those around me arises daily.  Perhaps because I have two young sons, work 40 or more hours per week, and have no extra $$ to smooth the edges, I am often in the position of being "selfish" and caring for myself, or being "generous" and denying myself in order to attend to others.

Distinguishing between the "have to" activities (work, making dinner, adequately supervising my kids, etc...) and the "others would really like it if I would" activities (volunteering at my son's school, arranging playdates, taking the day off work to play at home, giving my kids attention every time they demand it, etc...) is something I NEED to do all the time in order to avoid resentment and burn out.

It helps immensely that my partner believes in relating without obligation, and does not pressure me to give, give, give, or criticize me for being selfish when I set limits.  :heart:

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5034516 -

:thumbup:
:heart:


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Everything I post is fiction.

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5034784 -

careful it does not all get reduced to the art of plumbing
i.e.
pressure
gushing
spraying
siphoning
and irrigation.
then again it is a tubular approach or a tubular world.
(see i really am a worm)


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5034816 -

Are you flirting with me?  :wink:

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Re: My Highest Aim in Life.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5034906 -

redgreen vines cannot flirt. he has no carnal desires, indeed, he has no physical body. He is a computer program, linked neurally to a group of primate neurons in a petree dish. The cluster of primate cells (from an orangutangs hypothalamus) are continuously administerd doses of lsd, salvia divinorum and dimethyltryptamine.

The brain cells are connected with microfibrous cables to a computer terminal whose sole function is to allow them access to the shroomery.

Basically hes a bunch of stoned super primate braincells linked up to a computer mainframe.

Thats my best guess so far, anyways.


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Everything I post is fiction.

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