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Offlinenamaste
RuNnINg OwL
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Serious help
    #1528045 - 05/07/03 05:36 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)




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"Drop beats, not bombs."  - Abraham Lincoln


Edited by namaste (07/05/05 04:39 PM)


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Serious help [Re: namaste]
    #1528242 - 05/07/03 07:03 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Why are you still there receiving abuse, is the first question? How soon can you come up with the money to rent your own space, howsoever humble and unfurnished? If I read this right, you must now be at least 21. If you want to avoid further psychological damage, then you need to remove yourself from the dysfunction of your family. It is your Mother's choice to remain married to your Father, and from her apparent degree of denial, she has pretty significant problems herself, which you cannot do anything to help at this point of your life. If you want to help her somehow, you're gonna have to get healthy, stable and capable (financially and emotionally) before you can become a helper. You are going to have to cut the unhealthy attachments and unfulfilled fantasies of a healthy relationship with your Father, as he is (from your description) clearly not interested or capable of having one.

Save yourself first. A drowning person will not be helped by someone who jumps into the deep water also. One must be firmly anchored to land or ship in order to avoid drowning oneself, and from a stable place, reach out and take hold of the floundering victim.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlineenotake2
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Re: Serious help [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1529628 - 05/08/03 02:45 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah, your father is unlikely to change unless he is helped and he can only be helped if he wants to be, and it sounds like that is not happening in a hurry. You are your most important concern right now. And I agree with Mark that moving away from your father is the healthiest thing you can do. I don't know where you live but in Australia you can get an apprehended violence order, which may be an option also, as the guy is obvsiously violent. This would be for your own protection, but it also sends him a strong message about how his behaviour affects others and the seriousness of it. You and your mental state are worth it!


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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Offlinenamaste
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Re: Serious help [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1532002 - 05/08/03 08:50 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

hey guys, thank you. that is my current goal. i will take your advice to heart.

fare thee well


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"Drop beats, not bombs."  - Abraham Lincoln


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OfflineDailyPot
Trip'n Time

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 2,207
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: Serious help [Re: namaste]
    #1532256 - 05/08/03 10:26 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

I have problems with my dad too. I'm worrying about my life saying fuck him and making the best of it till I'm 18. I have a very fucked up dad, dont really wanna go into detail...

Your dads an asshole, you cant make things better most likely so just make things involve him less so they can be better. I dunno, this is the best advise I have, I go by it and dunno anything else :frown:


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