The Unbridled Negativity Thread

I fucked my shoulder, kinda, up really bad when I was like 18-19(35 in July). super wasted, like 40 pounder and still drinking wasted, being dumb rastlin' with some other idiot. Dumb but I felt the pop, like in my shoulder blade area. My best guess is maybe the scapula dislocated or it was driven into my upper ribs behind it. Or maybe even some kind of a muscle tear, but when I lay down I can feel something sitting weird

I've gone to a doctor about it atleast 5-6 times over the years and this cheap shit Canadian medical system just doesn't give a fuck. The first guy right after it happened x rayed my rotator cuff instead and told me I have tendonitis. Feeling self doubt and in the throes of alcohol addiction I didn't really give a fuck. I just adjusted. Years later I have kids so I can get a spot with a GP, why not try to talk to them about this shit. Because I have mobility still she basically determined the first doctor was right. I go back again and because it's causing other problems they decide I don't know what I'm talking about and look there. "You're young and seem in good spirits, you must be fine" is the vibe I'm getting here. I went once nearly in fucking tears because I'm so frustrated about it and the guy offers me antidepressants. Holy fuck is this real life? They've literally never even looked. Funny the only person who listened was a chiropractor, he wouldn't even touch it after a small exam

It's gotten so bad that I have a had a hard time pressing the power button on my phone the other day, and recently had to stop playing a video game with my son because my arm was tired and it hurt pressing the buttons. My arm is just so exhausted all the time, the muscles are overworked trying to keep up. To make matters worse I got a shoulder impingement in the other arm a few years ago and I'm pretty sure I'm a few months away now from a rotator cuff blowing(infrasup?) because I actually do have tendonitis in that arm now. Impingement>tendonitis>RIP rotator cuff is common. It fucking burns really bad in the elbow joint and there's this pressure. Crazy I didn't know shit could burn like that. There are times it's like a wasp stinging the bicep insertion at the forearm. Now I've been having this tendonitis in my right arm increasingly for a few months, I try using my left arm more because I realized how much I've been babying it. Let's give the other arm some reprieve. Now because I did that it hurts so fucking bad all the time again and I end up using the arm that's about to fucking blow anyway

I fucking hate whining, I do everything I can in life to not be a complainer like ever, but my shit is so fucking fucked. On top of the shoulder issues I've repeatedly torn or sprained either one or multiple ligaments in my spine(C to L) I don't even know how many times. >20 but less than 30 if I had to guess, and I almost always deal with it on my own because honestly I've grown a deep distrust of the medical system and when I do they always send me away without any sort of examination beyond moving around. I can barely walk sometimes, and the difficulty is such that the nerves can excite into my groin making it feel similar to getting kicked in the nuts with every step. I feel like a jenga tower and the worst part is I know no one understands. Of course I'm fucking blue collar but here I am day after day just slavin it out waiting for the next time my shit is so fucked up that they actually pay attention to me the next time I give them a chance. Because really that's all I can do.

Sorry for a wall but I just did a fat dab. fuck ain't life just the wrong kinda cock sucker sometimes

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