Russian stoner stabs a big enough hole in van to worm inside *PIC*

So this junkie-skinny Russian courier is late. he is 40 mins late to be exact. He drives this van and reverses into the steel shutter and ran over pallet and broke it. I ran over to roll up the shutter and bang on the side of his van to get his attention. He comes out and is like "What's wrong? What is it?" while on the phone and his eyes were blistering red as if he was crying and so I pointed at the shutter and told him he nearly carried the whole building down because he wasn't paying attention and could have hurt someone. He answered back and it was clear English wasn't his mother tongue...he could speak some Slavish tongue but he had the worse English and often mumbled or couldn't make a cohesive sentence .he sounded Russian or Polish. He smelled of tobacco, stale sweat and a strong odour of something. He sounded and looked stoned but probably wasn't because he was working...if he was... :facepalm:

.

Anyway we are about to load the cargo when he discovers the backdoor and sliding door of the van won't open. We pull, kick and curse in vain. That door wasn't opening. My employer offered to call up a mechanic but the Russian said "No,No I got this" so he opens the driver's door and starts stabbing and bashing at the steel casing in the cab seat. That steep was thick. He stabs and punctured a small hole in less than 10 mins. Then with a steel cutter and garden tools he starts enlarging the hole and cuts out a window in less than 30 mins during which he was on the phone to his boss who urged him not to punch a hole through the van. He was like "What? You no want me to make hole? Is only small. I will fix. I can fit. No, noo it's good idea. I fit. I swear it's cheaper. No mechanic needed. I will fit. Yes I will fix it too". Then he hangs up and looks at me to"Fuccckkkkk him!" I was thinking this guy is a badass.

He starts stripping down to the vest and wiggles, worms and squeezes himself through that small hole in the van. It was crazy. He barely fitted. There were jagged pieces of metal sticking into him as he was roaring and roaring "Come on! C'mon!" then at last he managed to squeeze his lanky Russian ass through that hole. It was crazy and amazing. I was laughing and giggling with joy. My only worry was him.getting stuck in there since there wasn't any other way out except through the same hole, however, jagged metal was pointed inward so that was unlikely unless you want metal in your thighs. He was opened all the van doors and says "Is good idea, no?" and I looked at him and said "You crazy Russian Bastard! This is the best idea ever. You're fucking smart"
...he winked at me and said You "Today I go home and fix it. I put window in so when I carry friends in the back they can see me"...he was such a lovely guy. He looked like a Russian Shaggy from Scooby Doo. I asked him who the van belonged to and he said "My boss! But he no care" and shrugged :lol:

. He went to the office and put his hands up like "I am Victor! I am Victor (He meant victorious)" and I loaded the cargo into the van while he did the paper work and then went to the toilet and took his victory shit which smelled nasty...today was unbelievable ...felt like something from a movie.

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