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ehtdaedlufetarg said:
1a. Found crawling through bushes looking for mushrooms............2
1b. Not found crawling through bushes looking for mushrooms...... Not Alan Rockefeller

2a. Covered with reddish orange hairs...................................................................3
2b. Not covered with reddish orange hairs.............................................. Not Alan Rockefeller

3a.Entire body covered in reddish orange hairs....................................................Pongo abelii
3b. Head, chin, and..uh..  covered in reddish orange hairs.....................Alan Rockefeller

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This dichotomous key (from the Mushroom Hunting Meme thread) had me laughing for days.

Plus your hobbies list reads like my own.

5 star performance

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lactarius have a specialized cell in their stipe called spherocysts enabling them to break cleanly like chalk leaving no fibers behind

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