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Stranger Reged: 05/05/20 Posts: 642 |
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Good points. I'd like to add that the technique of "Thought Stopping" utilized in cognitive behavioral therapy does prevent those emotions from happening in the first place or from continuing. It is one of the most effective techniques available and very useful in treating depression. The idea is that, with the exception of emotions secondary to physiological reactions (like fight or flight), the thoughts that precede an emotion result in the feelings we have. Our minds produce constant chatter. Much of which is not useful, illogical or simply untrue. For example the thought - "I am a failure". We start by identifying the thought - that is, by developing an awareness of our thoughts as they come down. Once we identify a thought that is disturbing, we evaluate it, sometimes utilizing Socratic questioning. Is it true? What evidence do you have for and against the thought? Its usually not 100% true or even close. That lets us know that it is a target for thought stopping. What if it is true? Then we look at whether it is useful. For example - the disturbing thought, "I am late paying my bills" is potentially both true AND useful. You don't want to stop a thought that will lead to positive behavior, like paying your bills. However, to ruminate over bills that were late in the past is not useful. Its self-deprecatory. While "I am a failure" may well be true to some degree, it is usually an overgeneralized, attributing total failure when one task was failed. If it is not true or useful, it is a target for thought stopping. Next, we develop replacement thoughts. An example for the thought above could be "I failed to meet a deadline at work, but I am good at what I do and well respected/liked at work". Once we have the replacement thoughts developed for negative thoughts of a high frequency, we learn the stopping technique. It sounds simple, even silly, but is highly effective. I have utilized it myself for thoughts related to something that happened decades ago. My obsessive thinking about something that HAD BEEN true but is not true NOW was far from useful. It was difficult to stop the thought at first, but with practice I was able to actually stop the persistent thought and replace it with one that better represented my reality. The stopping technique is basically - Picture a large STOP sign directly in front of you while shouting (if alone lol) "Stop". If in public, you simply think "Stop". You have to really believe the thought is not true and/or not useful and you need to be forceful in reigning in your out-of control brain. Treat the thought like an outsider - not as one you own - that is hurting you. I will use swear words to get tough with my thoughts sometimes. Once you have stopped the thought, you move to replace it with one that is true or more useful. So, if we can think more clearly, we can avoid needing to stop emotions, because it is the thought that triggers the emotion. I have developed this analogy: Picture a snow-capped mountaintop. As the snow thaws in the Spring, the water (your thoughts) starts to flow down the mountain. It finds paths that form rivulets that grow and flow through these paths, digging the channels deeper. I equate this with neural pathways, as the more we think something, the more likely we think that again. practice makes "perfect", even when we are practicing negative thoughts. So we need to dam up the flow through channels that are not useful (thought stopping), and redirect (thought replacement) the water (thoughts) to where it is harmless or useful, like for irrigation. We dig new channels (neural pathways) and in time the melting snow flows through these and makes them deeper and more habitual. It seems to me that we can indeed choose our thoughts, depending on your definition of "choose". I am using the common perception of what it means. Namaste
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