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Bardy said: KQuote:
Kiwi89 said:
Sub_easy, I don’t think it’s at all safe to assume that psychedelic drugs “remove a filter”. I think all we know is that these substances just change the way your interpretation machine operates.
I should define "filter" better.
I use the word to describe a few different things.
Copping mechanisms is one.
It's best to just use my own experience to explain, because it's what I understand.
I have always been easy going, and played dumb, the class clown, acted dumber than I am and took a subordinate position and self deprecating.
Never plushy, insistent, dominating.
Always the sidekick and never the superhero.
I imagine I got lead down the path to adopting that attitude because my dad was always putting other people's ideas down and of course he always knew better than everyone else because he is beyond the intelligence level of anyone I've ever heard of.
He already designed a better battery than Tesla and designs, and sells designs for aircraft and amplifiers to big corporations and famous rock bands.
But, to a kid, it doesn't matter if you are right, you still have to let them believe that they have good ideas, and not make them feel like everything they do is the wrong way.
So I believe I learned to not challenge people and to just act dumb so I wouldn't be rejected or put in a position where I could be judged for making mistakes.
I told myself that everyone was so smart and knew what they were doing and had all the answers and I just kept my mouth shut.
That is a coping mechanism, and that is a filter.
It colors how you see yourself in relation to the rest of the world, and how you see others, even if it's not the truth.
But it protects you against the fear of rejection.
Is becomes a form of maladaptive behavior.
And that's a second filter.
Maladaptive behavior is a big part of mental illness.
If you behave the same way, no matter what situation you are in, and you can't change your behavior to meet the situation, then that's not good.
Maladaptive behavior is a big filter.
You can only see the world through those two filters by changing HOW you see the world.
You have to learn to lie to yourself, because you have to create a false view of the world in order to make your own inability to adapt to changing situations, be something you can live with.
Otherwise you would have to blame yourself for all the ways that you can't get along in the world.
"It's not me that is broken, it's the world that is the problem"
All of us live in total denial.
Some more than others.
Another filter to combat those problems is to adopt a persona.
If you can't have a fluid persona, that changes with the situation, because you have a coping mechanism that keeps you from fully engaging every aspect of the situation, like sticking up for yourself for insurance, then you have to adopt a persona that you think everyone will like.
Your a joker, or a giver, or a scapegoat or easy to take advantage of.
So if you are choose to let people take advantage of you, because you want to be accepted, then you have to add another filter.
Now you have to see people as trustworthy, or worthy of putting yourself in a vulnerable position and trusting that people are good and won't take advantage of your kindness.
So you have added another filter, and you must add more to reinforce that one when it goes wrong.
You add the belief that you are always ready to forgive.
Another filter like people are good and smart but just make mistakes.
Then you may become resentful because people keep letting you down and taking advantage of you.
So you add another filter.
You see the world as a place that you can give advice, or comfort, or help others, but the world must have strict rules that everyone has to follow or you can't have anything to do with them because they are no longer worthy if they break any of those rules.
Now you're filters are making you judgmental and discarding groups of people based on how they behave or who they associate with.
Ritch people are causing it, young people are trouble, people who do drugs are no good.
Meanwhile, the coping mechanism that used to work for you when you were young, stops working, because you want people to accept you and avoid conflict, but you are older and haven't developed the tools to deal with conflict, because you just role over and play dumb all the time, and that's fine for a young person, but then no one likes you, because they can't trust themselves to not take advantage of you, because you make it so easy, then instead of confronting them and building understanding and boundaries, you just put them in the category with the bad people, because your filter allows you to see the world as divided, good or bad people, and pretty soon everyone is a bad person, because you keep adding filters to describe them in your view of reality.
Meanwhile, they feel bad being around you because you encouraged people's natural behavior of being a little greedy and taking advantage help, and they can't have a resolution and set it right with you because you don't do confrontation, and then you disappear because you decide they are one of the bad ones.
So now, everyone is on the other side of the bad filter, no one trusts you to work through difficult challenges and stick with it, and you have to add another filter to deal with that.
So you see the world as a place where you will only do what you can, as long as you are left alone to do it, and you have to add another filter that you are good at this one thing, but just can't figure out how to do that other thing, because you are stupid and you also don't like people because they are difficult and judgemental.
So you get really good at that one thing, and everyone says you are great at it, so that becomes who you think you are by adding another filter to see yourself as a specialist, who only has to do that one thing, and everyone respects you.
But in reality, they don't trust you, you are letting the team down because you won't work outside of your specialty, people don't feel comfortable around you because you are stubborn, they can't trust themselves around you, they always feel like any conflict that comes up is never resolved and they can only interact with you on a shallow level because it's clear that you believe that people are bad and have a attitude about them judging you when they offer any advice or criticism.
But you just look out through your filters and see a reality that you must always let people know not to mess with you and that you can be friendly to people, but never be their friend, and you have found a place in life where you are good at one thing, and that is what defines you as a success in life, so you have to keep being that one thing and put on the persona of a person who is a master of it.
But in reality, you have become completely maladaptive because you created a false view of the world to match your need to not support your need to not feel like you are always wrong, and everyone is just going to hurt you if you express yourself and your ideas.
Then you take shrooms, and wake up the next day and your social anxiety is gone, and you are no longer afraid of everything, and you feel like you finally want to open up to people and take control of situations and that you actually have something to offer and it's not all the other people that know everything, because they were the assholes and fuckups, not you.
Then you start to accept that people are fuckups and you don't forgive them because you have to in order to make them like you, but you can forgive them because they are just people, and you have to actually give them the chance to fight you by having confidence in yourself enough to handle the possibility that you will say something they won't like but you also have to trust that they will be willing to accept how you feel, even if you are wrong, and you will keep the door open to them even if they are wrong, but you work it out because you are not afraid of rejection because that old lifelong, and outdated coping mechanism is suddenly gone, and you don't have to hide behind filters and denial, and holding up a false reality around you that was only created to hide you from what you were so afraid of.
So, that's just a little part of of a much bigger false reality that you live in, and there are many more pieces of the rest of it, but even coming to turms with one small, but extremely powerful piece of your whole reality while, or after you do shrooms, can really have a big domino effect in freeing you from the false reality that you create for yourself.
If it breaks down one important piece of what has helped to create your reality and hold it all up, and in doing so, opens a world of new possibilities you are willing to try, so you become much more willing to adapt to different situations and let go of strongly held beliefs and open yourself to the possibility that you could be wrong in how you see the world, and that opens new doors into places you would normally never allow yourself to be part of, and new ideas that your fragile reality could not accept or handle the intrusion in the face of what you felt like you had to hold true to as an integral part of who you viewed yourself to be....
I got lost....
Anyway, a lot of it probably has to do with ego death, because it's a big shock to people when they realize that they are more than just how they see themselves.
You are still you, and you still have all the skills and knowledge you have collected, but you realize that you are not the person who you have told yourself you were.
You are more than your self image, and you have created yourself around a frame, like a shell made of all the things you believe yourself to be, but in reality, you are only what you tell yourself you are, and you have built a reality around yourself that is only meant to be used as a convenient way to reassure you that the person you believe yourself to be, won't be damaged or destroyed.
Your outer reality reinforces your inner reality, and your inner reality creates it for that purpose.
How you see the world is meant to protect the integrity of who you tell yourself that you are, and who you tell yourself that you are, will greatly influence how you see the world.
You can always keep the prices after the mushrooms and choose to put them all back in the same place, or you can use what you need, and add new pieces from your access to the world you can see after the filters are no longer trapping you behind them.
It's like lifting the vail from your own mind, and realizing that there is a wizard, who is really just a fraudster, actually running the machine, and you don't have to be fooled by what he is showing you anymore.
You get a chance at the controls.
-------------------- Just take um like you get um. Those ephemeral spasms of infinity, in suspended animation, born across a boundless ether of existential misery aloft a revelry (of awe) for the abhorrently sublime.
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