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Priest of Hathor Reged: 12/21/09 Posts: 3439 Loc: Houston, Texas |
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Quote: Oh I totally get it, man. It's just so frustrating and sad because you of course wanna tell young'ns you see fucking up and fucking around that you've been that.guy and done that shit 10x more and longer than the shit they're pulling, and it really fucked up your life, repeatedly, for years. In so many ways, too. And you really WISH, seriously hope that you can use your experiences to tell others where certain things got you. I mean, I'll admit on here that I'm literally homeless until my friend let me start staying on his couch, and even that's temporary MAYBE unless I get a job quick enough (and I got something set up Monday, construction under the table cash daily sorta gig), but that's because he felt bad that I spent a week literally sleeping on concrete. Anyway I digress; now I'm just venting, but the point is I really have been through some fuckin' shit in my life. My first institution (residential treatment center) was over a decade ago. But these kids can know these things and their causes and be doing that exact shit. So of course you feel morally compelled to tell them where it led you and that you were lucky and also look white (if that's relevant), even tell them a specific story of you doing the same fuck shit and ending up locked up or in rehab.. but I guarantee it goes in one ear and out the other.. because I also had people try to get me to learn from their mistakes at various younger ages and yet I still had to stubbornly learn the hard way firsthand. So you feel like to be the good person you wanna be, you gotta try to help some kid out before it gets way worse, but at the same time you know it's pretty much pointless. It's a shitty feeling. It's actually really convinced me sometimes to not even waste my time trying. Which is sad. But I mean, your brain doesn't stop developing fully until you're 25, last I read. And in your teenage years in particular, the impulse control and inhibition parts of your brain are really getting the brunt of it, basically going absolutely haywire, which is why we do crazy shit in our teenage years. Man, I am so high.. and smoking always makes residual meth kick in more even wayy later. That shit lasts way too long, especially if it's good and you're banging it. Just a couple decent doses, and that's like a minimum 36 hours being awake with no appetite. Always regret doing that shit. At least I managed to sleep a few hours this morning and eat a couple small things. 's why I been doing H instead and avoid ice despite it being everywhere here. And was actually figuring it'd kill the residual stimulation which it did immediately, since it's been around 24 hours since the last dose of ice, but the tar, which lasts the duration of a normal fucking drug, was the minimum I do, plus it was about 8 and a half hours ago. So that's probably half worn off, which is making the residual stimulation come back some. I just happened to be walking by a neighborhood where it's all over the place, so I stopped by and just got a $10 bag.. well I negotiated to only paying $7 for it, lol. So yeah, I'm thinking I wasn't nearly as close to the end of the effects as I thought. I got a bunch of pills other than my scripts which are all like perfect for this situation anyway, so I dunno why I'm complaining. Anyway, if I don't​ stop this post soon, I think I'll just keep going. So I'm gonna enjoy being baked doing something other than this post. -------------------- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
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I have hada few "d runs in the ghetto" I have no place to judge people. I just wanted the kid to spare himself some dignity and figure out a better way. We as humans learn through trial and error. Much love.