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Reged: 06/18/01 Posts: 6379 Loc: orbit |
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Interesting post. A very few, limited times while on LSD or Mushrooms at really high doses I have found a strange fixation with the blackness of dilated pupils. By either staring at my own in the mirror, or a friend who is tripping, or (this will sound really sad, but please humour me) the alien picture on my boxer shorts, very strange things occur. When i gaze into my eyes or another, and gaze into that limitless blackness its as if i get sucked into the void and i lose all touch with reality and become the blackness - it is then that i feel this strange floating communion with everything. I feel divine, and feel strangely aware of sentient beings from a variety of different places - their consciousnesses so alien to my own that i cannot comprehend anything of them other than their existence. It becomes quite scary as i become aware that these beings are aware of my attempts to understand them and i wonder about the possible dangers of this perception. My last point is that people who develop paranoid schizophrenia from drug use - whether it be from mild weed or harder psychedelics, will often report two things from their early experiences with these substances: 1. a feeling of mass ratio - as if they can sense their proportions in comparison to the room around them and 'feel' their mass. 2. a feeling of contact or confusion from contact with divinities. through continued experiences they say that its like they are unable to close the door and these entities have free reign. Having had two friend diagnosed early on as schizophrenic and another one who was recentally diagnosed - much unlike the norm - as paranoid schizophrenic at the age of 26 - i have spoken to these people at length. The doctor involved in the last case, to which i was present at one appointment described it to me this way: 'Have you ever been really drunk?' I said yes, ofcourse. 'Well that is what his condition is like. He knows what is normal but its like when you are really drunk. A part of your mind wants to get up and walk home or call a taxi, but your just unable because the substances still has control of your mind and body. You want to think clearly, but the alcohol affects your judgement. You need time to sobber up.' he continued: ' with your friend he knows what is normal, but the substances just havent worn off- he wants to have clear judegement, but his brain chemistry has stayed the same, as if he is still intoxicated - can you imagine the frustration? He knows what is normal, but cant get back there. This is what your friend has to deal with - he is the same, yet his brain is permanently intoxicated - like his is permanently drunk, although it is more like he is permanently psychotic.' im not sure why i mentioned this - Kanna is a buzz! --------------------
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tededfred | 05/03/03 01:08 AM |
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