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StonedTestBunys1
it's them....


Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 109
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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im scared....help
#7590034 - 11/03/07 01:29 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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ok so heres the story...ive had this dog since i was 6 and he was like a brother to me. it was one of those dogs that i would talk to and hang out with and love and pet all the time because he was a friend to me. his name was fenway, like fenway park in boston (yeah were red sox fans). well the other night when the red sox won the series fenway was really sick and then the next morning my mom woke me up crying telling me that fenny went on to heaven. i didnt know what to do i didnt go to my philosophy class that i love because i couldnt help morning and crying. then later that day i got my wisdom teeth pulled out. i thought i was basically in the acceptance stage of morning, i was to the point where i could think life goes on, theres nothing i could have done, and it was his time(i dont believe in a god anymore so i dont believe in any "better place" or anything like that). so i thought i was over it, i got my teeth out came home where i couldnt feel anything i was so f-ed up. so they gave me some perks, later that day i wanted to get messed up again iduno why i just knew i finally got my wisdom teeth out soo ive been waiting to get messed up on perks. i thought that it didnt mess me up so bad, so i took 3 more a few hours later(i popped 2 earlier not crushed) these ones i crushed up and parachuted. i still didnt feel that fucked up off of them. the next day i took some more i was baked most of the time so i didnt really notice if i was that messed up off the pills. i snorted about a quarter of one of them too and it made me feel really good. well then i had to go to school the next day and i parachuted 2 and a half before school and railed the other half at like 7:30 am. i felt pretty good that day till i passed out then woke up(this is halloween btw) and i was like "damn its my sr. year halloween i definately wanna make it something to remember" so i parchuted 3 and a half perks and railed a half. i was pretty messed up but didnt feel like it was enough so i went to a party and drank a beer, i heard it will multiply it, and it felt better. the next day i didnt take any and i felt like shit. i thought it was just cause i didnt get enough sleep, but not really. i smoke some bomb bud that day i got really high but everytime i smoked i just felt like shit. then i took another day off the perks(at this point i only had 4 left) so tonight my jaw really hurt so i convinced myself to take one so i snorted about a eighth of the pill and parchuted the rest just to get rid of the pain. then me and 2 of my friends bought a 18 rack and started to drink cause we were bored. we drove all around i only had about 5 beers but i felt pretty drunk cause of the pill. i got in my house and i thought "man i wanna take another pill and have a fun friday". so i cut one in half and railed the whole thing. you see im a pretty smart guy, it sounds like im dumb after this whole story and i sound like im being stupid with my life but im really booksmart and such and i know what im doing, basically just a crazy week. well after i did these lines i though "ahh that feels good" and then bam...i realized that the fact that what i thought was that it felt good was a sign that im gonna get addicted, its not that i havent been fucked up enough its that it never felt good enough for me, i think that i have an addictive personality. i never thought that before i though i was a really strong person but i realize that doesnt matter, because this is the first drug i have tried that has a physical addiction to it. i have done shrooms and pot and such many many times and ive always been able to quit as soon as i want. i know that i can quit this habbit right when i want to because im not yet addicted but the feeling that snorting it made me feel good not fucked really scared me and i think it might be linked to my dog dying. im really scared about all this so if anyone has any advice they can give me on life or this subject please do. im posting here because i know how everyone on here are the most helpful people on earth.
thanks
-------------------- there they are!
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andrewss
precariously aggrandized


Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 1 month, 12 days
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You should use paragraphs... makes it much easier to read. I scanned through it though. Personally I have never used pharms, I even got a bottle of vicodin for my wisdom teeth, didnt take 1 of em. Anyway, dont worry too much... talk to real people about it if you have to, but its not like your a long time meth junkie or something! Cheer up
-------------------- Jesus loves you.
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.



Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
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Re: im scared....help [Re: andrewss]
#7590081 - 11/03/07 02:04 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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just stop using them. cry about your dog if you have to. there's no shame in it and it will help you feel better without relying on drugs.
other than that, just stop staying at your house and doing drug in your free time. go over to a friend's house and watch a stupid move, or walk around your town all night searching for truth and beauty.
-------------------- You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
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BiG_StroOnZ
BiG StrøØnƵ



Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 3,323
Loc: NJ, USA
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Re: im scared....help [Re: andrewss]
#7590096 - 11/03/07 02:14 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Firstly, wait 39 days and a new "Fenway" puppy will come. You will know its "Fenway" and this will make you quite happy, because you will feel it being your dog. It will look just like Fenway except something will be slightly different.
As for the Percocet problems, you can't get addicted to anything unless you let yourself. If you say you’re a smart guy, then obviously self control is an open trait of yours. These Pharmaceuticals are meant to “numb” you out by suppressing natural feelings. Your mental state isn’t at risk entirely, but continuing use will not definitely help.
Also, the reason you’re feeling the way you are is because of a few factors; obviously there are natural feelings within you that are trying to be released. When coupled with a nullifying agent that, well, does a great job of suppressing these natural emotions you have resulted in bringing your body into a “void.” Psychologically you still don’t feel fine, and now you are feeling guilty because of taking these drugs as an escape to the reality of losing Fenway. Also, with the fact that you insufflated (snorted) the Percocet you assisted in the process of it taking over your mind and body ASAP (Nothing was or ever is supposed to go in your nose, besides air and maybe a scent). Translation, stay off the Pills. As for a future reference, you will have chances of trying Pharms again; I would recommend you stay away from them. It seems that you’re drawn to the mental and physical satisfaction of “Pain-Killers,” but consequently you suffer a mental incarceration as a result to taking them (The suspicion of being “addicted”).
Like I said, stay away from Pharms. Stick to Entheogens and Psychedelics; Cannabis, Mushrooms, DMT and the similar.
If it’s made by the Government, it’s evil...
Edited by BiG_StroOnZ (11/03/07 02:28 AM)
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StonedTestBunys1
it's them....


Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 109
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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thanks a lot guys i thought this through a lot and and realized im just worrying too much. i did it a few times and had a bad reaction to it and realized why ive never done pharms before...because they just arent right. im gonna continue to stick to mushrooms bud and other natural things, had a bad time and it was all i needed
-------------------- there they are!
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blacksun



Registered: 09/02/06
Posts: 1,390
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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I think it can be expected that your gonna go on a bender after your dog dies, but remember who you are, and where you want to be, and throw that shit in the bin.
-------------------- uarewotueat - "Libs are messy as hell, I don't know whether to take a shit or get a haircut when I'm on them!"
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cube talk
Stranger

Registered: 10/11/07
Posts: 1,223
Last seen: 1 month, 11 days
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Re: im scared....help [Re: blacksun]
#7590330 - 11/03/07 07:29 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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can i jack your avatar sun
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pasteface
pasty


Registered: 04/27/07
Posts: 122
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
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Re: im scared....help [Re: cube talk]
#7590577 - 11/03/07 10:07 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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you need to lay off abusing the perks, they contain acetaminophen which can murder your liver. it only takes about 150 mg/kg for the toxic effects to take hold.
That said, you sound young, and while I'm not going to tell you to never touch X or Y, I am going to tell you to do a bit of research and maybe wait until you are older, more mentally stable, and have more will power before playing around with physically addicting drugs. They can be heaven, but coming off is absolute hell.
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Caribou_Lou
Stranger


Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 2,510
Loc: Never Land
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: im scared....help [Re: pasteface]
#7590747 - 11/03/07 11:35 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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You won't get addicted trust me. I used to get 50 10mg norcos (hydrocodone) at a time from my friend's mom and I thought I would get addicted too, because I also have an addictive personality. THen all the sudden, bam my supply completely stopped and I just stopped using them completely and to this day I have no used one since. When you run out, you will not be able to get them as easily next time and you will not get addicted. Even if you find yourself wanting to buy more, just have some self control.
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Mastamike1118



Registered: 03/29/07
Posts: 2,010
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Re: im scared....help [Re: blacksun]
#7590789 - 11/03/07 11:49 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
blacksun said: I think it can be expected that your gonna go on a bender after your dog dies, but remember who you are, and where you want to be, and throw that shit in the bin.
either that or hook my ass up
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