This is the second time I have ever tripped, the first being way back in high school.
I had the weekend off and decided to trip yesterday morning as we had just finished a massive snow dump, a foot plus and I thought tyhe cozy feeling of being snowed in would be fun. I took 3.5 grams around 9:15 am and just sat in my living room with my 2 cats and dog (I live alone). After about a half hour I started getting pretty anxious and would be pacing around a lot or fiddling with stuff as I have OCD with anxiety to begin with.
Then I started noticing the shadows in the room much more, they were so pronounced and kinda of scary. Then eventually I started seeing faint words or symbols rolling across the wall like a merry go rounnd. I went to the bathroom and my shower mat was bubbling up and oozing water all over the floor or so I thought for a minute or two.
I then went back into my living room and started out the window up at this massive tree in my front yard right next to my window that looked like n was grabbing around my house, not in your face but it was looking very weird. I thought it was wonderful and started at it for awhile until a snowplow abrubtly came by and that completely turned my trip around as I was very upset by this.
I felt paranoid that everyone could heard me as my neighbors across the street shoveling and it felt like I could hear better or else they were closer to me. At one point I remember getting a thought in my head how it was so pathetic how we all have our little houses we live in yet we are so vulnerable....something like that, I just remember almost scoffing at the notion of us clearing our little driveways after coming out of our little sardine boxes. I only felt that way for a bit though and then started tripping again in other ways.
My pets were starting to look weird and one of my cats (12, oldest pet I have) went to sleep in the other room and I was getting worried about her and that I had to get her in the same room as me. She looked so weird, I can't say it was blatant extra arms and legs or other stuff on her but it just looked like parts of her body were breathing on their own too but yet distorted?
At some point I got on the floor and my dog (big german shepherd) kept getting in my face licking me and I was thrashing around but very happy it was a euphoric few moments knowing this massive beast loved me so much......until suddenly my doorbell rang and my door is being pounded on. It's my dad yelling asking if I needed help shoveling out as he lives across town. I was very angry looking at the door while he pounded on it and was very short with him when i answered while I looked at the floor. He doesn't usually just show up so I was pretty pissed about that, even today it's stuck in my head a bit and I get mad thinking about it.
Anyways after a 2-3 minute conversation I close the door and try to calm down again. I get the urge to smoke pot all of a sudden which surprised me as I told myslef I wouldn't as weed makes me a bit anxious and paranoid at times and I felt like it wouldn't help the trip. However I have been listening to Terrence Mckenna the past few days and recalled him mentioning that if you ever get in a bad pace to just take a toke and you would be whisked off somewhere else.
I packed up a bowl and took a hit, right away my trip got much more intense. I was seeing all kinds of objects and colors being birthed out of each other spreading around the window. I sat down and the trip unfortunately continued to be bad overall. At one point I went back into the spare bedroom to look for that cat and I was teleported back to 3 years ago giving my ex gf's son hugs goodnight as that was his room and the cat way laying where his bed was.
I didn't get a chance to feel sad for very long as I wandered back into the bathroom and started staring at myself in the mirror and thought that one of my eyes was a bit bigger than the other. I became fixed on this for awhile, then I started making funny faces in the mirror and at one point I looked downward but still at the mirror. My face turned dark into a zombie like face, almost like what Michael looked like in the Thriller video.
AFter awhile I got weirded out and went back into the living room. By this time I was seeing stuff in the carpet, my coats in the entry way had scary faces coming out of it. All the snowplows were making this terrible creepy whiny noise. There were faces in the carpet and they were all laughing at me, at a few different points I would get this strong urge to grab my dog and go jumping around outside in the snow but I was forzen there.
I could feel the slow onset of absolute dread, I could feel it slowly form inside me, tears slowly make their ways to me eyes. And a voice in my head that reminded me of some of the videos where it talked about having to face your fears/trauma. How it would chase you down if you tried to run and inside it was just dread, I don't know how else to say it it is not a feeling I ever have really. Wondering if some fucked up thing that happened in the past to me was about to be thrown right in my face.
It never came though but the trip was still dark, I didn't get that dread feeling as fuck but at multiple times over the next half hour, hour, who knows how long I was frozen just zoned off starting at all this scary face stuff and people laughing, (not loud, I didn't have a ton of tripped out sounds I heard).
At multiple points I remember I thought to myself almost amused, that they were showing me such generic almost corny scary stuff and how could this scare anyone haha. BUt then everyy time right after I would realize i had tears in my eyes, not balling or anything but they were watering.
Finally at about the 4 hour mark or so I began to have some kind of concept of time again and the desire to calm down and get back to normal. I surfing the net but my mind was still mush. Eventually I made it to a NBA message board where the news that basetball player Steph Curry hurt his knee and I became euphoric ( I"m so soory Curry lol), absolutely elated that this would open up the playoffs for my favorite team and others as the had been dominating the past few years.
I couldn't concentrate at all though i just had this incredible feeling and couldn't even click on the links showing the sports talking heads rambling about it. I bet it took an hour before I was able to even figure out what happened to him.
Once that was over I was coming down, played a few online games with a friend and couldn't play because I would zone out. I had a strong headache so I ended up going to bed pretty early last night after dozing off in my chair. At some point during the comedown I remember trying to convince myself that I didn't even trip that bad but after taking inventory of what happened I came to the point where I was like ok that was not normal, none of that was normal.
Overall I would say it was a bad trip I guess but besides that one moment of absolute dread I was never freaking out I don't think? Despite my eyes watering? Who know...one weird thing I kept doing almost the entire trp was moving my hips, focused on my lower spine in a weird snake-like shimmy while I stood in place. I cracked my back a few times which felt great but it was something I kept doing, like I wanted the sensation of moving the bottom of my spine. I was thinking to myself during the trip how unnerving it would be for someone to see me doing this, almost like I was in a trance.
I still feel OCDish but that fact that I was able to sit down and type this out is kind of shocking for me. Over the years I have become more and more anxious and jittery so I can't read books or type out my thoughts like I used to when I was younger. This feels really nice getting this out and I will be tripping again in the future as I feel like I need more help/experiences!
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Great write up. Your experience sounds very much like my first time. I had no idea what I'd be getting into. The guy who sold me the mushrooms told me it would take an eighth to get off, so, like you, I went for the full three and a half grams. I had about the same results, although your trip sounds a little scarier than mine was. It made it hard to go for a second round. I found the experience a lot more fun (if not so spectacular) at 1- 1 1/2 grams. Maybe with more experience I'll take another try at a deeper ride.
JWM
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Word of advice, sometimes it's better to trip at night if you have anxiety. No snowplows, less chance of parents showing up, neighbors will be asleep. I have some anxiety issues that sound similar to yours (once I thought the trash truck was an armored car) and it helps to remember most people are asleep so nobody is gonna be looking at you or listening. Great report, way to keep a cool head!
Edited by FractalMind (03/25/18 01:46 PM)
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