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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures)
#3358347 - 11/14/04 12:42 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God.
On Friday, Kevin and I left Austin for the 4 hour drive to Dallas to trip with my mother-in-law (the good one). The drive there was wrought with strife, as everything seemed to be going wrong. I had only had about two precious hours of sleep the night before, and was quite cranky. Eventually I managed to settle down for the drive and read Be Here Now to try to collect my thoughts for the trip that night.
When we got to Constance?s (mother-in-law) house, I found her almost giddy with excitement since she was a shroom virgin. That?s when the energy started to circulate through three of us, and we sat down at the kitchen table to discuss any questions she might have about tripping. She had done acid before, and I had given her a copy of Timothy Leary?s Psychedelic Experience to read a few months ago for her first time. She made it clear to us that she wanted to become completely immersed with the magic of the mushroom and wanted a strong experience, and in the end we gave her about 3.5 grams. I warned her that her experience might be very powerful, and she said that she didn?t care, that she was ready for this. Since I wasn?t really expecting to trip that hard myself (because I did Ayahuasca two nights before) I planned to be a semi-sitter for Kevin and Constance to make sure that things didn?t get out of hand.
Kevin took about 3.5 grams, and I took 4.5, to account for tolerance. Within twenty minutes of ingestion, both Kevin and Constance were feeling the effects, and even though I felt altered, I could tell I was at a much lower level then my companions. I didn?t care though, and decided to just go with the flow and enjoy the experience. We played Uno until none of us cared anymore, and then went out into the living room to let the fun begin.
I remember Constance?s first gasp of delight when she declared that she was seeing the ceiling begin to ripple and dance. I also remember how excited she got when she realized that *everything* was in motion, and that colors were simply beyond color. She kept saying, ?This is fantastic, utterly fantastic. I love this, this is awesome.? Kevin at this point was flopped on the floor in a sort of trance, and I was on the couch, writing in my journal, still not feeling anything much but having a good time.
After about two hours had passed since ingestion, Constance began to grow antsy and concerned. ?I can feel myself fighting it,? she said, ?but I don?t know why.?
?Breathe through it,? I told her. ?Fill your lungs with life and float downstream.?
She seemed to settle down a bit then, and said, ?Yes, I remember that from the book,? and began to take very deep inhales and exhales. She slumped down in her seat and closed her eyes, and when I looked at her she had an odd little smile on her face. We were listening to the band Yes, and at a tense part in the music I went and got my special pillow that I had brought, a squishy thing that is wonderful to squeeze, and gave it to her. She held onto that thing the rest of the night, seeming to find comfort in it whenever things got a bit too confusing. At two and a half hours after digestion, I finally began feeling the effects of the mushroom. The trip was very subtle, no visuals to speak of, but bold color everywhere I looked. I went into the kitchen and ?skated? around on the tile, smiling all the while with my journal in one hand and a banana in the other and feeling like a dancer as I whirled around. Since everyone appeared to be having a great time, I decided to try and see if weed would pick up my trip a little bit. I passed the pipe around to my companions, B-Tribe switched on the stereo, and for a good half hour we were all lost within the orgasmic throbbing of the music. Every once in awhile I could hear Kevin going, ?whoa, wow, whoa,? and Constance moaning, ?Fantastic, fucking fantastic.?
At one point, we all got up from the living room and wandered around the house. Constance?s house is sprawling and littered with all sorts of odd, fascinating items to play with and look at. At one point we all plopped down on the bed in her bedroom, awash in purple from the lights above us. Then we went out into the living room and finished listening to B-Tribe. After this, we went outside to stare at the trees above us, and I had a fun talk with Constance as she smoked a cigarette.
When we went back inside, A Perfect Circle was playing and we sat at the dining. We all smoked more weed, and that?s when things got *very* interesting. I started tripping pretty decently, and was writing up a storm in my journal. At one point, I remembered that Constance had a small box with a dead black widow inside of it, and taking a deep breath, I decided to face one of my most paralyzing fears. Just holding the box with a deadly spider in it (deceased or not) was a humongous step for me. I brought the box back to the dining room table and sat it next to me, touching the box and feeling a thrill in that I was this close to a black widow. Normally, just the thought of being near one (deceased or not) would bring me close to a retching panic attack, but I was fine and proud of myself.
Things got more and more intense in the dining room as the energy rose to insane levels. I was aware of Kevin staring with an expression between amazement and horror at the floor, as though he was seeing yet-not-seeing something. He kept mumbling, and seemed in a weird trance, but I sensed the power and so I didn?t dare interrupt him. Something monumental was happening to him. At this point, I decided to write a letter to my friend Kristi (who has a trip coming up), and what started out as a letter turned into an amazing (or what seemed at the time) declaration of the Divine. I wrote:
?If you continue on this path, take caution. Always be mindful of the balance. The balance in all things (all things). Close your eyes and seek the God inside. Taste truth, and do not turn away. Have hope. Always have hope. Stroke your demon, but charm your angel. In that divide, you will find God.?
I looked up from my writing at that exact moment to see that Kevin had moved to the living room. He was knelt at the couch and was uttering, ?Oh, God! Oh God!? and I felt a powerful, unexplainable force compel me to go to him.
What happened next is difficult to explain, but I will do my best to tell it as I experienced it. As soon as I entered the living room, my mind was blasted by a wave of what can only be described as pure consciousness. I was absorbed by it, my trip jumping up a good two levels and I could only babble for a moment before I knelt beside my husband to grasp his shaking hands. He looked at me, and I nearly wanted to recoil from the power I saw in his eyes. He has never looked at me with such crippling intensity. That?s when he whispered, ?I?honey?I?I think I talked to God.? Then he bowed his head again, and cried, ?Oh, God?Oh God!?
I was drawn into him, as though we were one entity, Shpongle splintering what remained of my sense of time and space into oblivion. Kevin was mumbling, his hands shaking and sweaty against mine, and we held one another as he said, ?He came to me as a demon first, to comfort me. And then?He told me?He told me this: ?this life, it may not be everything, but it is my gift to you!?
That did it, I cannot explain it, but for what seemed like an eternity I couldn?t tell where Kevin began and I ended, and vice versa. Some of the most intense visuals I?ve ever had flooded my sight: sharp, vivid images of a golden figure in a whirlpool of color with three never-ending faces and three eyes?a Demon? A God? I felt a struggle then, lost in the rainbow kaleidoscope of that reality, and that?s when I let go, feeling myself breaking up and flowing outwards into infinity. I could distantly hear Kevin whimpering and moaning in a sort of frightened awe??honey?oh, honey?? and I began to smile. ?God is love,? I said, my voice breaking with amazement, understanding for the first time the unconditional compassion that ?God,? the Other, the Universal Consciousness, the Being, had for us all. I raised my voice and my hands, and felt a delicious combustion of bliss and terror inside of me, realizing that Divine Moments of Truth and Experiences of Ecstasy was God saying, ?I?m here, will you find me??
It was probably the first time I truly understood what tripping is about.
Eventually, clutching my husband, I returned to earth, awed and so, so grateful for what had happened. I went to go check on Constance, finding a big smile on her face and gave her a hug and a scalp massage. ?I love this,? she said, ?thank you so much.? She went and jammed in the living room to A Perfect Circle again, and then Kevin and I went into the kitchen to sit at the table and talk.
He opened up to me about his experience and spoke in a way that I?ve never seen him do before. His voice was wavering and he looked like he was about to cry as he said, ?Honey, you know me. I may start to doubt this as time goes by. But?I did it, okay??
Those words almost broke my heart because I knew exactly how he must be feeling. ?I know,? I said. ?I know.? I won?t begin to get into the story of what happened to him, as it was Kevin?s experience and he might post a trip report later on it. It was something I am honored to have been there for.
The rest of the night was spent with Constance and Kevin and the weed in our pipe as we discussed our experiences. Constance said she was completely blown away and couldn?t have asked for a better time. I was still overwhelmed by what I had shared with my husband and couldn?t go to sleep that night. I have *never* *ever* felt such intense love as I did during that trip, for my husband, for the Divine, and for all mankind. I definitely plan to try and keep that love and compassion in my heart as I move through my daily life.
Afterthoughts:
I feel like I accomplished so much during this trip. I faced my fears on multiple occasions with triumph, helped to pop a shroom virgin?s cherry (and she loved it!), and experienced something beyond this world. It blows my mind to think that I was having a level 2-3 trip until the waves of consciousness from Kevin catapulted me up to a high level 4. It?s amazing how integrated we are together.
I think my Ayahuasca experience two nights prior really primed me for this trip, despite the tolerance issue I had.
I also think that experimenting with low doses is very helpful for when you reach the intensity of a higher dose. Low doses teach you with more clarity how the mushroom interacts with your mind, and can better prepare you to face the Divine Infinity when it is your time. I believe my experimentations with small doses really helped me let go during this experience.
In addition, I feel more then ever that The Psychedelic Experience is a book that every psychonaut should read. I think Constance benefited incredibly from reading that book, and it was a valuable reference for her during her trip.
That?s about it. If you made it this far, thanks, and happy tripping.
Truly,
*me*
The essentials (pill bottle contained capsulated shrooms):
Tripping pretty good right here:
Some stuff (the little box contained the dead black widow!):
The Eye of God (It's a crystal ball. Try as we might, we were never able to replicate this shot after we finished tripping):
Tripping hard:
The Aftermath:
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wrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,679
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MOTH]
#3359112 - 11/14/04 08:13 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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wow....thats all really....wow i feel a little blown away just from reading that
-------------------- how's your WOW? Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM)
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MagussugaM
mmyyy hheeaadffeeells llikkea frrissbeeee
Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 124
Loc: England
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: wrestler_az]
#3359469 - 11/14/04 10:57 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Awesome, absolutely
-------------------- You are free to do what we tell you!
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MagussugaM]
#3360010 - 11/14/04 01:10 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Glad you enjoyed. I've noticed that my trips tend to "build" upon one another over time. I'll definitely remember this one for awhile, that's for sure.
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vc77
incarnate
Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 1,302
Loc: PNW US
Last seen: 4 years, 1 day
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MOTH]
#3360051 - 11/14/04 01:23 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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ShroomFan
nn dmt
Registered: 03/12/04
Posts: 866
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: vc77]
#3360319 - 11/14/04 02:34 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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OMG one of the best trip reports I have come across at the shroomery. I am truely happy for you and grateful that you accomplished a high level of insight and realization. Im sure words can't do justice to what you experienced but they came damn close.
-------------------- Fellow Shroomerites, if you Love expressing yourself with a dope tee shirt feast your 3rd eye on www.facebook.com/vicereversa ∞ Conscious Clothing for Conscious Minds ∞ Wear a tee , open a mind Each shirt is spawned to Arouse Awareness <> We believe in Sustainability & Giving back <> Do you know of a community project or persons in need you feel deserves attention? - Tell us on our page And we just might pick the story > develop a tee > and donate the proceeds to that cause. ∞♥∞ Unget it, VICE REVERSA
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,061
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: vc77]
#3360327 - 11/14/04 02:36 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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cool
-------------------- _ 🧠 _
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Civ
Pinning
Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 2,537
Loc: California
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MOTH]
#3360955 - 11/14/04 05:11 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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The black widow, did you eat it?
-------------------- "...Gal's seem to hate the thought of blending chicken shit in a blender. So, wash it well afterwards & DON'T tell them..." -Agar
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: Civ]
#3360957 - 11/14/04 05:12 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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No, I just held it in it's box.
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gdman
badger, badger,badger...
Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 16,286
Loc: Dancing In the Streets
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MOTH]
#3361084 - 11/14/04 05:37 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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very nice, very nice
-------------------- Got a question about a substance? Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the mushroom experience? The Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before. I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights. - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess "I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve
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Clint
Stranger
Registered: 11/05/04
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MOTH]
#3361108 - 11/14/04 05:41 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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im so excited about my first time shrooming now
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Rose
Devil's Advocate
Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MOTH]
#3361174 - 11/14/04 05:55 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Wow indeed.
You put into words what can't be put into words.
Terrance McKenna talks a lot about communicating while on psychedelics.
I have often believed you can communicate more than words without tripping, and you can easily share a trip's intensity with a loved one.
I was able to help my girlfriend quickly come down with eye contact and holding her hand. This is a story worth a trip report, unfortunately a lot of time has passed. Long story short... we were tripping in the woods (after a night of drinking), she was dehydrated and tripping TOO hard to make it to a drinking fountain. I needed to help her find a lower level of tripping before we could safely get to water from the cliffs we were on. Seriously, I almost had to call 9-11, she was so faint. Thank God I was able to guide her trip in this time of crisis.
We didn't realize we were dehydrated, and it was 15 degrees warmer than we expected with 90% humidity. Our original water supply went quickly, after we ate the shrooms and smoked some weed.
As enlightening as that trip was, it was also VERY scary. My girlfriend could have died of dehydration because she hadn't injested anything but dehydrant substances for several hours. A liter or two of water on a hot, humid day was not enough to make the difference.
Make sure you are well hydrated when you trip outdoors away from stores or drinking fountains.
As bad as it sounds, that was one of my favorite trips ever. Of course, it was almost my worst nightmare. My girlfriend hasn't tripped much since... although she found her spirituality on that day. We learned to communicate then, and we still remember what we learned.
On another note, I too have had back to back, tolerance issues... and I too, have had trips kick in late, after accommodating for those issues.
Shrooms, as a substance are quite predictable... but once you start to use them as a spiritual sacrament... they seem to have almost supernatural powers... as a spiritual tool, shrooms never fail to surprise.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Bonez420
8=======8
Registered: 04/24/04
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: Rose]
#3363117 - 11/15/04 08:10 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nice trip report!
I didn't know you were in Austin! I go to school here in Austin.
-------------------- "Many times I've lied - Many times I've listened, Many times I've wondered how much there is to know." -Led Zeppelin (Over the Hills and Far Away)
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jent
enchanted wizardof rhythm
Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 115
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: Bonez420]
#3366420 - 11/15/04 09:04 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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awsome report...there is deffenatly the ability to talk your feelings to other people without even opening your mouth...i have experinced this before too
-------------------- the jent
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ThirdEyeOpening
Lost In My Head
Registered: 08/24/04
Posts: 2,287
Loc: How the fuck should i kno...
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: jent]
#3366702 - 11/15/04 09:56 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thank you for that report. Makes me almost envious of the experience you and your husband shared. I hpe to soon see the path that i lay before me, I may have one planned, but alot will need to transpire before I set it in stone.
And congrats on begining to conquor your fear of arachnids, they are a powerfull spirit, and they keep the roaches down.
-------------------- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. Im not too sure about the former. -Einstein Of course the rules need to be enforced, but the goal of law and order should be to create a just society, not to enforce laws. -Unknown “I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” -Stephen Roberts
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Anthrax
Werd
Registered: 11/06/04
Posts: 65
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: ThirdEyeOpening]
#3405860 - 11/24/04 08:28 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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yea this trip report and your husbands really did move me a bit....i dunno i guess all i can say is wow
words can't really describe it now can they
I wish you all luck on future trips and a healthy relationship
-------------------- Werd
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Plok
Life is fractal
Registered: 09/08/04
Posts: 1,152
Loc: Los Angeles
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: Anthrax]
#3406206 - 11/24/04 09:55 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Congratulations EllemyShade. I can't wait until my next trip (probably in about a week or so). Shrooms are truly amazing.
-------------------- Just say NO to the War on Drugs.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: MOTH]
#3407075 - 11/25/04 02:16 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Wow, that's awesome Ellemy!
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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neutralizer
Spiritual beinghaving a Humanexperience
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 635
Loc: This Planet Earth
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
#3407099 - 11/25/04 02:29 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Congratulations on an awesome trip. I'm in College Station (was in Austin last weekend!) and had a nice one myself recently.
-------------------- There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors - Morrison
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Trip Report: A Rendezvous with God (pictures) [Re: neutralizer]
#3407435 - 11/25/04 07:59 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanks guys. If there's anything I could ramble on about forever, it's tripping.
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