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Anonymous #1

life sucks
    #9929419 - 03/07/09 05:02 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

how the hell did I end up here? That's what I keep asking myself. I'm 30 years old married, jobless, just moved to a new place and hate my life. I'm so depressed. I'm so depressed I can barely move. All I wanna do is sleep. My husband and I seem to argue everyday now. We never used to argue at all. Now it seems like every little thing I do annoys him. He thinks there is a magic on/off switch that I should just be able to flip and poof I'll be happy again. I just wanna run. I just wanna pack up my car and leave. Go where no one knows me, make up a new name and start again. But I am so damn in love with my husband. And he loves me. He loves me in my depression. I can't leave him. But I am so depressed. Job hunting is making it worse. In my old state I could send out my resume and have interviews set up in days. Now I've sent my resume out at least 40 times and nothing.  I have 10 years experience, but no degree so I cant even get an interview. ugh. and the anger....the anger is getting worse. the more depressed I get, the angrier I get. I just want to hit something. Anything hard. All the time. Ugh I dont know what to do. I can barely wake up before 11 anymore. I spend all day feeling sad, guilty about it cuz of what it does to my husband. I'm not even good at faking it anymore. My husband says things like "you used to smile and laugh". That just makes me want to drown myself in my bathtub. I'm so lost, so sad.


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Anonymous #2

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9929530 - 03/07/09 05:24 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

wow, that sounds pretty bad. i think you and him need to have a sit down and talk session. youve probably done that before, and heard that already, but i dont know man. what do you even want to do right now? like in detail.


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Anonymous #3

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9929640 - 03/07/09 05:41 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Sounds like you need a little perspective.

Jobless or not, you would probably be much happier with your current situation after spending a year or two in extreme poverty south of the border.

Or move into the slums, sleep in a back alleyway, converse with insane junkies and crackheads, curl up in a dirty blanket and cry yourself to sleep.

That kind of life sucks. Yours, in all likelihood, does not.

I hope you feel better, though. I know it's easier said than done to turn that attitude around. I've been there.


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Anonymous #4

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9930115 - 03/07/09 07:17 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

It's actually not a bad time to make money on the internet.

If you have some time to invest, you can set up a series of niche marketing sites that each bring in a couple hundred dollars a month and need minimal time spent on upkeep.

The A-listers in the internet marketing community are often genuine, helpful people who are happy to share everything they know in the form of free content from blogs and ebooks.

The web is saturated with make money online crap but there are actually practical ways of doing it.  People will laugh at you if you say you are going to make money on the internet but people do it every day, many earn a full time living, some become rich.

Passive income is a reality these days and the new economy will be built on it.  Set up multiple, mostly-automated, small streams of income and you can still work full or part time on top of that.  Once a site is up you have to do very little.

If you have some time anyway, you could invest a few months into a few projects and have steady income streams that will continue even when you do get a job.  One huge advantage you have over employed people is that you have a lot of time to work with.

Any technical skills you don't know can be outsourced for not much money (www.rentacoder.com, www.elance.com)

If you start reading blogs like www.entrepreneurs-journey.com, www.problogger.net and www.johnchow.com, you'll get a better idea of the possibilities there are.  There are lots of ways to deliver content.  It just needs to be anything (a product or information of some kind) that is very useful to a lot of people, and there are ways to monetize it.

You have nothing to lose, and you have some time.  You're the only one who will get you out of this situation, might as well pick something and go with it.  You're your own boss.

Here is one approach.  Listen to both parts of this podcast: http://www.entrepreneurs-journey.com/1044/niche-profit-classroom/


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Anonymous #5

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #9930524 - 03/07/09 08:19 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Honestly, I think that's some pretty bad advice for someone that depressed as she is. If you were somewhat motivated, yeah go for it. But she said that she can barely get up or move.

To me that sounds like a horrible depression, bordering on suicidal thoughts, so there is really no simple solution here...


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Anonymous #4

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #9930615 - 03/07/09 08:35 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

I was more thinking about of the out-of-work aspect of the problem.  It's hard to get out of a funk when you have no income.  Motivation is never just gonna be there, it comes after a little pushing

I don't know, that's where I'd start


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Anonymous #6

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9930711 - 03/07/09 08:56 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

I know it sucks to be alive when you are depressed like this.

You can get over it. You will.


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Anonymous #7

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #9930840 - 03/07/09 09:19 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Yes you will get over it, Keep your head up and walk forward!!!!


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Anonymous #8

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #9930910 - 03/07/09 09:31 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Like this one guy said about the power of your thoughts and the energy you put behind them, "Have you ever tried to talk someone out of sadness or depression when they are intent on feeling that way?"  He thought it was next to impossible and I'd agree.


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Anonymous #9

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #9931025 - 03/07/09 09:50 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

OP - Just call companies up; studies show it is 10 times more effective than sending out resumes.

There is not a simple answer to your depression. You need to review all your habits and emotional patterns, and see what big things you can change within your life and environment that will make a difference. Biochemical (nutrition, eating lightly, exercise, etc.), emotional exercises, intellectual exercises, spiritual exercises. Psychotherapy.

Anon 4 - I have a blog with 12 articles on it so far. I have gotten extremely good feedback from the people who have visited, but the search engines just aren't luring in that many people. Do you have any advice for me on how I can get more traffic? I have only had like 200 visitors in the past month.


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Anonymous #4

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #9931071 - 03/07/09 10:04 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Learn from people who have done it well.  Yaro Starak, Darren Rowse, John Chow, Steve Pavlina... go to their sites, they all have very upfront how-to articles for free.  You'll get more traffic ideas than you can possibly implement.  It's word of mouth in the online community around your topic that creates traffic, not search engines.

If you get good feedback you probably have good content, and that's the hardest part.


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Anonymous #10

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #9931177 - 03/07/09 10:20 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Most time shit gets better.For a year or so i would sit on my bed with a 45cal in my hand.Trying to get up the nerve to kill myself.It seemed like all the people that loved me would be better off if i killed myself.

I was very far gone.Popped a few shots off in the house.

I was wayyyyy to far down to get out of it myself.

Sometimes you need to try somthing new,hard,scary. Like asking someone that KNOWS HOW TO HELP YOU TO HELP YOU .Someone trained to do it.

You have to find the right person

I called a mental health place i had no money.They still let me come and talk to a counselor.I think something, call it a higher power,god or the great fucking pumpkin

I don't know  but the right person was the one they gave me to talk to.My wife and i both went and talked to different people.It save us both.

I was going to blow my head off my wife would eat enough pills to kill herself all the time.

Shit got better. For once i took pills to help myself.Antidepressants   

We went five years.After just a time or two i saw a glimmer of hope.
MY BEST THINKING WAS KILLING ME.I needed to let someone else help me to show me how to deal with being in my own skin.

We still argue somtimes.We are still poor.But most days are ok some are great.

Take the chance.Let someone help you both.It was one of the hardest things i ever did to pick up the phone and ask someone i didn't know to help me.Let someone into your life that can give you the tools to help you.

You mite find out that they get a lot out of helping you.Its a give and take thing.I still love my counselor and i know i helped her too.

If the first pills they give you don't work tell them you need different ones.Dont give up your worth it even if you don't think so.Brad


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Anonymous #11

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #9931187 - 03/07/09 10:21 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

All i can say is focus on yourself and being happy.

honestly i get so annoyed when i see couples that are unhappy its like if you are not happy get out... i mean come on just do what makes you ha[py what you can do to better yourself.


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Anonymous #1

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #9931723 - 03/08/09 12:10 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks everyone.  People just responding to the thread makes me feel better. I feel like I just bring my husband down when I talk to him. He is my best friend I should be able to tell him these horrible sad thoughts, but sometimes I can't believe I am thinking them to myself. I shudder at saying them out loud to him. He would never leave me, nor I him. I just want to be a better wife. I want to laugh and smile again. It just is hard.
Thanks for everyone's advice about jobs. Any job will do. I went from 50 hours a week to nothing for months. Anything to feel productive would help. Thanks everyone.


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Anonymous #12

Re: life sucks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9932171 - 03/08/09 03:22 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Damn you aren't going to leave him? I was going to ask to run away together like hippie kidz. :psychsplit:


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