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OfflineCannabischarlie
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hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail.
    #9911554 - 03/04/09 04:21 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

here is a secret that i want to share with you ladiez.

i know its not going to be a secret for long, but i keep telling myself that and few get this, but i am here to spread teh word. here is how guys magically understand this complex device.

the toilet seat in a house TYPICALLY has two covers. one is a seat. the other really just covers. you dont see these in public restrooms, they are just unnecessary in that environment. and kitty is not likely to fall in in a public place.

so back to this seat. i know this comes as a shocker, but women can operate this device with a little bit of training.

you see those arms of yours? well guys have arms too. they dont look the same, but work on the same principle.

okay, so you may find someone operating this in a movie or something, if so, pay close attention and rewind, etc, if you can.

so a guy will put the toilet seat up so that he can avoid peeing on it. what a nice thing to do. occasionally this gets left up.

now heres the part you have to pay attention to.... guys also have to sit down. in fact, if a guy wanted to, he could sit down to pee. its just not practical though. so if a guy walks into a bathroom and sees that the seat is up, they use.... get this...

arms. thats right, they put the seat down. they dont complain that the other guy in the house (if there is one) didnt put it down. they dont use the vocal cords. why? just not necessary.

so however you see this act of using said arms, just do exactly that which you see.

also, heres the other important thing. eyes. what guys do when the walk into the bathroom is to notice the position of the toilet seat. if you dont turn the light on, you may still be able to see, or touch for that seat.

whatever you do, dont make the assumption that the toilet seat is in the same position as before, ever. not even if you live alone with 6 other women, guess what, its easier to do a quick check then struggle out of a toilet that you have just fallen into.

i may add a tutorial to this if necessary for 2.0


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds

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OfflineBrugman
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #9911574 - 03/04/09 04:24 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

The image of someone falling into a toilet really cracks me up.

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InvisibleEgo Death
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Registered: 04/27/03
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #9911583 - 03/04/09 04:25 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Too true :smile:

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InvisibleCrasher
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #9911586 - 03/04/09 04:26 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

:lol:


--------------------
Give me silence, water, hope;
Give me struggle, iron, volcanoes...

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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Ego Death]
    #9911594 - 03/04/09 04:28 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

oh thats why we gotta put the seat down?


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"


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Invisiblecreekfreek
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Crasher]
    #9911608 - 03/04/09 04:29 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

They still wont get it.

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OfflineToTheSummit
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #9911624 - 03/04/09 04:31 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

I once stumbled into the bathroom in the dark, and in my sleepy state sat down without looking.  As I climbed out of the bowl I thought to myself "Well, I can't blame this one on the wife!" :grin:

Yeah, I won't ever make that mistake again.  Its pretty shocking, and you learn a hard-to-forget lesson when it happens.  I don't see how a woman could do it more then once either.  Of course I'm making the mistake of applying logic and reason to a woman's thinking. :smirk:


--------------------
You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!

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OfflineGroomies
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: creekfreek]
    #9911639 - 03/04/09 04:34 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

I just don't get how women falls in.  do they just close their eyes turn around and sit?  see i've always thought i had dumb girlfriends but now i realize its every fucken women on the planet.


--------------------
:hotidea::hotidea::hotidea:

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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: danlennon3]
    #9911641 - 03/04/09 04:34 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

danlennon3 said:
oh thats why we gotta put the seat down?




correct, women dont want men to have any sort of entertainment

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OfflineBrugman
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: ToTheSummit]
    #9911643 - 03/04/09 04:34 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Hahaha.. ALWAYS look before you plant your ass somewhere. That's a rule I've followed all my life.. any time I sit.

Wouldn't wanna sit in gum or fall in the toilet. :lol:

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OfflineDragonChaser
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: danlennon3]
    #9911644 - 03/04/09 04:35 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

danlennon3 said:
oh thats why we gotta put the seat down?




I never lift the seat to begin with, I'm just careful with my aim.
And if a drop or two hits the seat, I just use a piece of toilet paper to wipe it off.
Blam, seat never goes up.


--------------------
My name is Mud

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InvisibleApollyphelion
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #9911665 - 03/04/09 04:37 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Great Post!

What Ladiez?;-)


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: danlennon3]
    #9911668 - 03/04/09 04:37 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

danlennon3 said:
oh thats why we gotta put the seat down?




yes, the poor little darlings seem to fall into the toilet, well.... 9 out of 10 women have, since i cant remember ever asking the question and getting a "no"

fortunately, with a little training, perhaps, maybe, this wont happen.

i have yet to meet a guy who has fallen into a toilet. i also have yet to meet a guy who has ever had cervical cancer. perhaps these two things are gender exclusive?

i should research this more.


--------------------
This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds

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Invisiblepseudonym88
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Registered: 02/19/09
Posts: 1,143
Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. *DELETED* [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #9911678 - 03/04/09 04:39 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Post deleted by pseudonym88

Reason for deletion: .


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Invisibleniteowl
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Registered: 07/01/03
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: pseudonym88]
    #9911710 - 03/04/09 04:44 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

no more of this


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

Edited by Prisoner#1 (03/04/09 04:52 PM)

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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Registered: 11/28/05
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Groomies]
    #9911717 - 03/04/09 04:44 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

Groomies said:
I just don't get how women falls in.  do they just close their eyes turn around and sit?  see i've always thought i had dumb girlfriends but now i realize its every fucken women on the planet.




:yesnod:

try this, while you are in a bar, say to a woman (hopefully you like her)

You are pretty, would you like to buy me a drink?

i get all kind of responses, and run with them, but if they say:

"you should buy ME a drink"

this is where the fun begins, but at least one response is:

"you should learn to check to see if the toilet seat is down or up before plopping down on it"

if you really want, you can also say "plop that pretty/hot little ass."

also, have you noticed if you are talking with a woman, and you wanted to be polite and be sure what you heard wasnt just someone elses side of it, you say:

"i wanted to hear it from the horses mouth"

now she says "oh so i am a horse now?"

meanwhile, if i am working as a cashier at a drug store and a guy buys a snickers bar with a twenty and says:

"keep the change you disgusting ugly piece of shit"

i probably didnt hear it because im like "cool, i got like 18 bucks now"


--------------------
This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds

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OfflineToTheSummit
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #9911730 - 03/04/09 04:46 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

Cannabischarlie said:
i have yet to meet a guy who has fallen into a toilet.



Didn't read my post, huh?

In defense of myself, I was only about half awake and just didn't think about it in the dark.  But, unlike most women I know, I can guarantee it will never happen to me again!


--------------------
You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!

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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: hey ladiez, the secret of the toilet seat, in great detail. [Re: ToTheSummit]
    #9912020 - 03/04/09 05:33 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

ToTheSummit said:
Quote:

Cannabischarlie said:
i have yet to meet a guy who has fallen into a toilet.



Didn't read my post, huh?

In defense of myself, I was only about half awake and just didn't think about it in the dark.  But, unlike most women I know, I can guarantee it will never happen to me again!




i have noticed women do it more than once like 95% of the time.


--------------------
This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds

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