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Anonymous #1

Am I selfish (girl stuff)
    #9892960 - 03/01/09 10:55 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

There is this girl who wants to be with me.  I love her and she loves me.  The only problem I have is that I am not very physically attracted to her because of her weight.  She is at least 25 pounds overweight if not more.  She eats crap and doesn't exercise.  Hence, the 25 pounds of flab.  This girl would be cute if she lost the weight.  But, she makes no effort to do so.

I am very healthy.  I eat good food and I am ripped.  I look good when I take my shirt off.  I am not a super-model nor do I expect or want to go out with a supermodel.  But, I do want to feel some amount of physical attraction to my mate.  I would definately be more attracted to her if she were a healthier weight.

Well, I just brought this stuff up to her.  As expected, she went ballistic.  She hung up on me, texted me never to speak to her again, etc..  I don't think I was too out of line with my request.  I said it politely and respectfully.  But, she is PISSED.

Was I an asshole in this whole situation?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9893005 - 03/01/09 11:01 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Yeah it's not a good idea to say "You're too fat for me"



Edited by Anonymous (03/01/09 11:05 PM)


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Anonymous #3

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #9893023 - 03/01/09 11:04 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Yeah it's not a good idea to say "You're too fat for me"




No, I think what he did was right.  I wouldn't want to date someone who lived a really unhealthy lifestyle either.  He's just asking her to eat healthier and exercise a bit, not drastically change her life, or kill a few million Jews.
She should be doing this already anyway.

She flipped out because she knows she's fat and she's insecure, she doesn't already eat well and exercise because she's lazy and afraid of failure.  She needed to hear it in my opinion, otherwise she'll never change, she'll just be complacent in her disgustingness.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893044 - 03/01/09 11:06 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Touche' sir. Yes I concede that although it may be a little "mean" to say "ay you're not healthy" I guess someone had to do it.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9893045 - 03/01/09 11:06 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

25 pounds overweight is not a "really unhealthy lifestyle."

He's being a domineering prick and if he doesn't like the girl as she is then he should live with it.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893073 - 03/01/09 11:09 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
She flipped out because she knows she's fat and she's insecure




Also cuz she now knows she isn't accepted as she is.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #9893085 - 03/01/09 11:11 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

He is not being a domineering prick.  He takes good care of himself, and wants to date a girl that values her body as much as he does his.  If you don't have respect for your own body, what do you have respect for?  It says a lot about your values and who you are as a person.

The girl eats junk, and doesn't exercise.  How is that not an unhealthy lifestyle?

25 pounds is quite a bit of weight around a females stomach.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #9893110 - 03/01/09 11:14 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
She flipped out because she knows she's fat and she's insecure




Also cuz she now knows she isn't accepted as she is.




Of course she accepts him as she is, he's ripped and in good shape.

Its a lot easier to be happy with a corvette than a dinged up Yugo.

People don't have the right to expect to be accepted as they are.  If you're a junkie, thats a problem.  If you're stupid as hell and can't tie your own shoes, thats a problem.  If you're constantly in debt because you can't manage your finances, thats a problem.  If you're fucking fat because you don't try to take care of yourself, thats a fucking problem.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893124 - 03/01/09 11:15 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

You did good man. Sometimes if others don't hear it from people they won't think about it. Maybe now she'll realize that but she'll probably hate your ass for a while haha.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893128 - 03/01/09 11:16 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Well, like I said, if he doesn't like the chick than he doesn't like the chick and he should just leave her alone. I'm in good shape but I like larger girls. I'll take her, dick. :mad2:


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Anonymous #7

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893131 - 03/01/09 11:16 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

call her back and tell her to eat a big mac


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Anonymous #5

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893135 - 03/01/09 11:16 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

I agree, but that doesn't mean what I said is untrue.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #9893143 - 03/01/09 11:17 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

I wasn't trying to argue with you, I was just saying she doesn't have that right.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #9893149 - 03/01/09 11:19 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Well, like I said, if he doesn't like the chick than he doesn't like the chick and he should just leave her alone. I'm in good shape but I like larger girls. I'll take her, dick. :mad2:




I do like her.  I love her.  And I would be way more attracted to her if she was healthy.

Quote:


call her back and tell her to eat a big mac




She's probably binge-eating five of them right now out of anger/depression.  :nonono:


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Anonymous #5

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893155 - 03/01/09 11:19 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

what right?  who's talking about rights?


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Anonymous #6

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #9893162 - 03/01/09 11:21 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

oh yeah. When talking to girls about their weight...don't... unless they bring it up.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #9893187 - 03/01/09 11:24 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

I AM!!!!! :crankey:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #9893218 - 03/01/09 11:30 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #6 said:
oh yeah. When talking to girls about their weight...don't... unless they bring it up.




Yep.  I just figured that out...big time.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893239 - 03/01/09 11:32 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

How is thin good and fat bad?  When you are old and gray all looks will be irrelevant, and the only thing you'll have is the love you see in your partner's eyes.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Am I selfish (girl stuff) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #9893245 - 03/01/09 11:34 PM (12 years, 2 days ago)

what i mean is, her expectations are besides the point
does the feeling of not being accepted equate to having an expectation to be accepted?


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