Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 - The Pub - Shroomery Message Board

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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Oscuro_lobo]

3
#26942691 - 09/18/20 03:45 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

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You wanna get high? Drink tap water.
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Extras:

gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire

Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 22,203
Loc: Canada

Last seen: 10 hours, 30 minutes

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: The Phleg]

4
#26943725 - 09/19/20 08:49 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied.

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"

--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

And I don't know what the mantis is praying for
But he's probably just thanking the Lord
That he don't live in a home
And he don't got a phone
And he don't sit around all angry and bored
(He's just a bug)

Extras:

larry.fisherman
shoulda died already

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,327

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: The Phleg]
#26943764 - 09/19/20 09:23 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

I just tried searching that to see if it works and it actually popped up as a suggestion before I could finish typing it :rofl:

:rofl:

Extras:

Primal Glitch
literally just vibing

Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 4,901
Loc: 🌎

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: larry.fisherman]

3
#26944605 - 09/19/20 05:27 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------

psilohuasca is da wae
gnome sayin'?

Extras:

viraldrome

Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,730
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 11 months, 19 days

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Primal Glitch]

3
#26945048 - 09/19/20 10:19 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Extras:

Asante

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 91,616

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: viraldrome]

2
#26945649 - 09/20/20 07:47 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Most brutal street fight ever:

--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Shroomery and Bluelight sitting inna tree - Harm-re-duc-tion-har-mo-ny

Extras:

Patlal
You ask too many questions

Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 45,151
Loc: Ottawa

Last seen: 12 hours, 8 minutes

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Asante]

6
#26946266 - 09/20/20 02:05 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------

Extras:

ChRnZN

Registered: 12/21/08
Posts: 6,265

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Patlal]
#26946394 - 09/20/20 03:28 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Meanwhile in Israel, back in lockdown

Extras:

Patlal
You ask too many questions

Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 45,151
Loc: Ottawa

Last seen: 12 hours, 8 minutes

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: ChRnZN]

1
#26946580 - 09/20/20 05:26 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------

Extras:

viraldrome

Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,730
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 11 months, 19 days

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Patlal]

7
#26946821 - 09/20/20 08:05 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Extras:

Asante

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 91,616

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: viraldrome]

2
#26947300 - 09/21/20 07:02 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Shroomery and Bluelight sitting inna tree - Harm-re-duc-tion-har-mo-ny

Extras:

ChRnZN

Registered: 12/21/08
Posts: 6,265

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Asante]
#26947334 - 09/21/20 07:36 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Extras:

NewAccount
Stranger

Registered: 10/05/17
Posts: 138
Loc: N.I. U.K
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: ChRnZN]

5
#26947481 - 09/21/20 09:44 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------

Extras:

gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire

Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 22,203
Loc: Canada

Last seen: 10 hours, 30 minutes

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: NewAccount]
#26947567 - 09/21/20 10:39 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

And I don't know what the mantis is praying for
But he's probably just thanking the Lord
That he don't live in a home
And he don't got a phone
And he don't sit around all angry and bored
(He's just a bug)

Extras:

InnerWisdom

Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,945
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: gopher]
#26947606 - 09/21/20 11:03 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

don't you mean this better one :lol:

:lol:

Extras:

Sugabearcrisp
Not Your Average Bear

Registered: 10/14/19
Posts: 21,711
Loc: thin line beyond which you rea...
Last seen: 53 minutes, 38 seconds

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: InnerWisdom]

6
#26947662 - 09/21/20 11:33 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Can relate

Extras:

mongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger

Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 9,370
Loc: Everywhere
Last seen: 20 days, 22 hours

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Sugabearcrisp]
#26947888 - 09/21/20 02:24 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------

Extras:

Patlal
You ask too many questions

Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 45,151
Loc: Ottawa

Last seen: 12 hours, 8 minutes

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: mongo lloyd]
#26948108 - 09/21/20 04:22 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

--------------------

Extras:

InnerWisdom

Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,945
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: Patlal]
#26949422 - 09/22/20 02:06 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Extras:

Asante

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 91,616

Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7

[Re: InnerWisdom]

4
#26949572 - 09/22/20 03:17 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Jimmy Carr is a British standup comedian who makes jokes so politically incorrect that he can't do his uncensored routine in the USA because outraged people interfere.

Here's him throwing some off on his home turf:

--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Shroomery and Bluelight sitting inna tree - Harm-re-duc-tion-har-mo-ny

Extras:

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