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 The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra
 
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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 Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7  [Re: Oscuro_lobo] 3
#26942691 - 09/18/20 03:45 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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You wanna get high? Drink tap water.
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 gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 18,468
Loc: Canada 
Last seen: 1 hour, 47 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: The Phleg] 4
#26943725 - 09/19/20 08:49 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"
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For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.
Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.
My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already
Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,319
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: The Phleg]
#26943764 - 09/19/20 09:23 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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I just tried searching that to see if it works and it actually popped up as a suggestion before I could finish typing it 
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Primal Glitch
literally just vibing
Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 4,884
Loc: 🌎 
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: larry.fisherman] 3
#26944605 - 09/19/20 05:27 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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make the changa you wish to see in the world
gnome sayin'?
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viraldrome
Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,730
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 27 days, 5 hours
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Primal Glitch] 3
#26945048 - 09/19/20 10:19 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Asante
Nganga muntu mosi
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 90,228
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: viraldrome] 2
#26945649 - 09/20/20 07:47 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Most brutal street fight ever:
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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Patlal
You ask too many questions
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 45,007
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 6 hours, 16 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Asante] 6
#26946266 - 09/20/20 02:05 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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ChRnZN
Registered: 12/21/08
Posts: 6,265
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 Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Patlal]
#26946394 - 09/20/20 03:28 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Meanwhile in Israel, back in lockdown
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Patlal
You ask too many questions
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 45,007
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 6 hours, 16 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: ChRnZN] 1
#26946580 - 09/20/20 05:26 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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viraldrome
Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,730
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 27 days, 5 hours
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Patlal] 7
#26946821 - 09/20/20 08:05 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Asante
Nganga muntu mosi
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 90,228
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: viraldrome] 2
#26947300 - 09/21/20 07:02 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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ChRnZN
Registered: 12/21/08
Posts: 6,265
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Asante]
#26947334 - 09/21/20 07:36 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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NewAccount
Stranger
Registered: 10/05/17
Posts: 138
Loc: N.I. U.K
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: ChRnZN] 5
#26947481 - 09/21/20 09:44 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 18,468
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 hour, 47 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: NewAccount]
#26947567 - 09/21/20 10:39 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.
Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.
My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy
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InnerWisdom
Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,941
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: gopher]
#26947606 - 09/21/20 11:03 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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don't you mean this better one 
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Sugabearcrisp
Not Your Average Bear
Registered: 10/14/19
Posts: 18,137
Loc: Zenning out
Last seen: 7 hours, 16 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: InnerWisdom] 6
#26947662 - 09/21/20 11:33 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Can relate
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mongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger
Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 9,360
Loc: Everywhere
Last seen: 2 months, 27 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Sugabearcrisp]
#26947888 - 09/21/20 02:24 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Patlal
You ask too many questions
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 45,007
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 6 hours, 16 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: mongo lloyd]
#26948108 - 09/21/20 04:22 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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InnerWisdom
Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,941
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Patlal]
#26949422 - 09/22/20 02:06 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Asante
Nganga muntu mosi
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 90,228
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: InnerWisdom] 4
#26949572 - 09/22/20 03:17 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
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Jimmy Carr is a British standup comedian who makes jokes so politically incorrect that he can't do his uncensored routine in the USA because outraged people interfere.
Here's him throwing some off on his home turf:
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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