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Offlinedevappy
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Registered: 10/24/08
Posts: 132
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive?
    #9467784 - 12/20/08 03:38 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Ive been reading some forums about stuff I have problems with.like I read a few forums about a kid who had social anxiety and he had alot of the same problems I have and I didn't know it was called that.I also read a forum about a person who cant explain himself and pot makes it worse.That is the same with me.So I am quitting.Hopefully I will get better. I really wish I could explain things more, maybe its my lack of knowledge but that doesn't explain why I cant explain what is going on in my head. I also have a problem listening to someone and making sense of what they say and remembering it.I feel like I get so confused so easy and I am tired of being so confused, always disagreeing with what I say. How do I found out what is going to be the best choice when making life decisions?

I also hate when I talk to someone and they give their point about something and it makes perfect sense and I totally agree cause it sounds reasonable then I hear another side of the story and that makes sense and then I think differently and agree with them instead. Then I will tell the other person what I think is right and whats good for me and they will talk and make perfect sense and I would feel stupid cause what they say is right again,that happens numerous times. I feel like I could be so easily brainwashed into thinking something. I really feel like I have bad luck and my life will always be hard and get even worse. I don't know what to do.What can I say?Where can I start?What do I think?How do I live?

I have had a pretty bad life for the past few years but my mom would always take care of things for me so I guess in a way I never learned how to do things on my own.I guess I was spoiled.But the things were so bad that how could I do anything about something that I know nothing about.

I am 20 years old and I don't know how to live on my own I don't know what to say when getting a job.I don't know about taxes or bills or owning a car or anything about being independent. My communicating skills are shit and alot of the times I am confused because I feel it could be me just over reacting.My sis is selling the house and I am choosing to live on my own.I am still worried about my social skills and my mental strength to live on my own.I have been thinking I am a hopeless cause and in the future I might have to resort to just kill myself.I hope things don't go so bad for me that it ends that way.

I don't know if I am painting the picture well enough but I am trying to explain my problems the best I can.I have formed a way of protecting myself when things go bad and that is by expecting things not to go right.If they don't then I am not hurt as bad cause I expected it,If they do go well than I am even more happy.Maybe I should just expect nothing and do the best I can to make it go well.That seems like a good theory. Their are so many variables in life how can I conquer living it?My biggest problem is my social skills and my listening skills.I really cant come away with the meaning of what a person is trying to tell me. I am worried also about what kind of people I meet.Their are so many shady people that act normal than stab you in the back. That has happened to me a number of times. Who do I know to trust and hang out with? What if I keep meeting shady people I just become even worse and just become a recluse. I have started a journal to express my thoughts in.I want to take a psychology class and a class about talking to people.I think that will help me alot.I also am giving meditation a shot.


When I smoke weed I end up being stuck inside my head feeling awkward and not knowing what to say or stare at.I have had really bad highs when smoking,like anxiety attacks.I don't know why I kept smoking but I did.I have made other forums about my problems but I feel a little better when I express something that people are gonna read.Before I read that other people had these problems I thought I was the only one.At least I am not alone.I am going to end this now.Sorry for making it so long.

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OfflineNova

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 1,365
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9468024 - 12/20/08 04:25 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

It sounds like you don't think you're ready to deal with the real world and all its uncertainty/responsibilities/threats, and this all leads to an increasing lack of self confidence which creates social anxiety + inability to properly discern in decision making. ::deep breath:: And I think the obvious answer is because you've never been put in a situation where you need to grow up.

Are you in college? College is a good transitional institution which lets you get your feet wet so to speak. Bills, rent, waking your self up for class, managing your time/money, setting goals, getting a sense of direction in life etc. If not what are you trying to do with your life? Just get out and do it. You basically just need to allow yourself to be thrown head first into it all. You'll make mistakes and whatever but you'll learn a hell of a lot fast.Experience breeds comfort.

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InvisibledeCypher
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Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9469421 - 12/20/08 09:20 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Lay off the drugs completely.  Exercise.  Eat a healthy diet.  Get good sleep.

I guarantee your situation will improve.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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OfflinexFrockx
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Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,457
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Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: deCypher]
    #9469686 - 12/20/08 10:16 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Live life as if you'll have to do the same thing all over again next time.

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OfflineAmericanPsycho
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Registered: 12/18/06
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Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9471214 - 12/21/08 04:33 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

I know exactly what you mean about getting stuck inside your head after smoking weed.  Then feeling awkward and having panic attacks.  The same thing would happen to me so I quit smoking it.

I started doing opiates because it does not cause any type of paranoia or alteration in perception, it mainly just gives you a body high and euphoria, plus makes you not care so much about pointless things like weed does.  You can't let yourself get addicted though.  And for medication, try Xanax.

You basically just have to get a job or maybe two jobs so that you can live on your own.  Some jobs don't even require you to say much in an interview, you just mainly hand them your information and they give you a start date.  Try factory jobs or manual labor.  You can try college too, but you should work part-time and take classes at the same time.  Also, it's not smart to take out student loans because the debt isn't worth it.  Get your employer, relatives, or financial aid to pay for it. 

You could also join the military for a few years and then they will pay for your college with the GI bill when you get out.  Maybe the military would be good for you.


--------------------

Edited by AmericanPsycho (12/21/08 04:40 AM)

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9471615 - 12/21/08 08:07 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

You can't develop social skills when you are stoned, IMO.

Stop smoking weed and start strength training.  Physical strength gives immediate positive effects to confidence and ambition.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9471929 - 12/21/08 09:59 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

You can't get anywhere except by acting. Many people say I can't this or I can't that, but in reality they don't try. There is no point in being upset about life all of the time. If you want something just reach out and grab it. If someone slaps your hand reach for it again and again until you make it. Success is the result of many, many failures, and failures suck, but they teach you how to succeed. You don't need "social skills" you just need to be yourself, decide what you want, and go for it. A sense of humor helps as well.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Offlinedevappy
Stranger

Registered: 10/24/08
Posts: 132
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #9478895 - 12/22/08 03:38 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

I am working out and I am going to college in January. I might be overreacting to all this but maybe not.MY classes all got dropped cause they weren't paid for but I got a college loan.I am trying to get a job I apply to all these places and I keep getting rejected even from subways. I don't know it seems like nothing ever just goes the way it should.Life is a bitch and then you die,I heard that somewhere and I guess its true except its all up to the person if your life is a bitch or is it?I tried to join the coast guard but I have a history of depression so I cant and even that guy got mad at me for the way I was talking.I hope I figure all this out,I don't want to be sad and miserable all my life.

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Invisiblederanger
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Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 6,840
Loc: off the wall
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9479084 - 12/22/08 04:18 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

devappy said:
Ive been reading some forums about stuff I have problems with.like I read a few forums about a kid who had social anxiety and he had alot of the same problems I have and I didn't know it was called that.I also read a forum about a person who cant explain himself and pot makes it worse.That is the same with me.So I am quitting.Hopefully I will get better. I really wish I could explain things more




my guess is that the pot is contributing to your inability to clearly express yourself.  i was a heavy smoker for roughly 6 years and it made me very introverted.  pot makes some people very introspective, which can be good but it has its downside. 

after slowing down on pot my ability to express myself has greatly increased.  the less i smoke, the more extroverted i am.  hope this helps.

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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9731941 - 02/03/09 10:29 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

to your first question, no. to your second, yes.

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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: devappy]
    #9732058 - 02/03/09 11:01 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

no, you won't survive.  don't ever forget this


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David

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Offlinebobbysroomlord
Stranger

Registered: 01/10/09
Posts: 15
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: demiu5]
    #9732440 - 02/04/09 12:09 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

demius said:
no, you won't survive.  don't ever forget this




It's asshats like this guy that will make it hard for you to thrive as you should.  Just remember that very few people are asshats.

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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: bobbysroomlord]
    #9733620 - 02/04/09 10:02 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

bobbysroomlord said:
Quote:

demius said:
no, you won't survive.  don't ever forget this




It's asshats like this guy that will make it hard for you to thrive as you should.  Just remember that very few people are asshats.





are you telling me that this poster is going to survive?  we all die; none of us survive.  those who are smart enough use this to their advantage instead of wasting away


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: demiu5]
    #9734897 - 02/04/09 03:05 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I think he misunderstood you


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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OfflineLion
Decadent Flower Magnate
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Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 16 days, 14 minutes
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? *DELETED* [Re: devappy]
    #9735105 - 02/04/09 03:43 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Post deleted by Lion

Reason for deletion: .


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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Offlinetightasfoooook
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Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 37
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: Lion]
    #9738207 - 02/04/09 11:25 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

anxiety, fear, pain, introversion, depression, physical discomfort= me, but i cant even express that, i had to copy paste..sooo im fucked. bye

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Offlinedevappy
Stranger

Registered: 10/24/08
Posts: 132
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: am i a hopeless cause for a living person will i survive? [Re: tightasfoooook]
    #9780790 - 02/11/09 08:24 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I just read what I wrote back to myself and I feel myself getting teary eyed.I cant believe I am had all these worries(and still some)and I worry about what other people think of me. Damn

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