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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance
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Registered: 04/04/05
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The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn * 1
    #9750628 - 02/06/09 04:13 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I was going to make a long post about the synchroncities I've experienced and how everyone in my life is here to train me to become a good man, but I think everyone here already knows.

Should I explain it, or does everyone already know what I'm talking about?


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OfflineBernackums
The universe will have its way.
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Registered: 08/06/07
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9751118 - 02/06/09 05:12 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

does everyone already know what I'm talking about?

I don't and I would hear what you have to say.


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Let's get the fuck out of here.

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OfflineErocdar
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Registered: 02/04/09
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: Bernackums]
    #9751322 - 02/06/09 05:45 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I already know what you're talking about but if you were to explain it we might have more to reply too. :wink:


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"The mind is wandering by nature because it is progressive under the impulse of evolution induced by the cosmic intelligence responsible for the creation and evolution of everything"

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OfflinejivJaN
yes
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9751918 - 02/06/09 07:40 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Heres another synchronicity :smile:

This thought occurred to me  2 days ago..

Are we all dead already ??
Died in a huge cataclysm years ago and still havent figured it out ?

Maybe your statement is a bit more metaphorical.. ?
But yes.. You should go into detail a little bit.
Im interested in this.


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All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: Erocdar]
    #9752324 - 02/06/09 08:50 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Pre-amble: Sorry for the length of this post, but this story gets pretty complicated, kutos to those who make it through the whole thing

Basically to explain this I first have to say I am still a virgin, at the age of 21. This is slightly embarrassing for me to admit to, it's the first time I've said it here, but it's the whole point of this post.

The afterlife is basically when I have sex - I know everything will change after this. Everything changes on the way to it.. it becomes a game.

My whole life has basically been a game, of creating order out of chaos. I was a teenager, about 17 or 18, when I first heard of synchronicity.

In the beginning, synchronicity was pretty bullshit - I mean, there were coincidences - but they were stupid coincidences. For example, I used to find it amazing when I would see 11:11 on the clock. Another synchronicity was that I would have a dream, and then some part of that dream would come true and I would think "WOW! That is so WEIRD!"

And anyone who has been at that stage and now has gone past it would know that it's not really weird at all, that my mind had created it to be weird. Seeing 11:11 on a clock isn't weird, because chances are if you look at the clock enough times you will see 11:11.

Another weird synchronicity was when I took mushrooms and thought about alien contact, and started hearing alien messages on the radio, like "everyone must get ready, love is the only way"

These types of synchronicity actually made life more chaotic and unpredictable - they were scary.

Before all this, when I was a pre-teen and young teenager, things were just chaotic in my mind. I barely remember what it was like but it was like this constant fear and confusion, there was no peace or bliss in my life at all. I remember even as young as 7 years old I tried to kill myself by flushing myself down the toilet.

Childhood was just a mess, I was not very happy at all.

Anyway, when I turned about 19 or 20, the synchronicity took a jump forward - an evolution in the pattern of life creating order out of chaos.

I was at my University campus one day, when two people came up to me and asked me if I had heard about Jesus. I remembered my mushroom trip that lead me to the face of Jesus (Jesus revealed himself to me on a mushroom trip) and I said, yes, I have heard about Jesus. They asked me if I wanted to become a Christian.

This was synchronistic because when I had that mushroom trip, there was about a month where things were very weird - I can't really explain how, I just remember it was like things were unfolding in a different way than ever before, and very fast - some people call this the "dark night of the soul". Anyway, during this month I had read the Bible and I kept questioning whether or not is was true -

You see, the mushrooms had blown away my ego, and in needing to create order once again out of the chaos, I had to find something that could be the foundation of my existence. At the time, I found the Bible.

When these two people came up to me, I was really out of it on drugs and I was looking to create order in my life once again, so I said, yes I would like to become a Christian.

One day when this guy was teaching me things about the Bible, I met this other guy. He was just sitting there and then for some reason I was asked to explain why I wanted to become a Christian, and I explained how Jesus had revealed himself to me on Mushrooms - this other guy became really excited. He had heard of things like this happening before. I said "Is it all going to happen again?" in reference to the unfolding that happened after I took the mushrooms and he said "Yes it's all going to happen again"

So I was excited, I thought that I was going to realize all these amazing things like the last time and basically start learning things very fast.

One day I went to my friend's cottage, and took Exctasy on the way up. On the peak of my trip I get a cell phone message from this guy, it said "When you walk in the spirit, you will know things without even learning them". I started having profound realizations about how the mind works and how the mind is always creating greater and greater patterns of order out of chaos.

Of course, this is all just nonsense that my mind has created. It's order out of chaos, but it's cheap. It's cheap synchronicity. It's not the real stuff.

But I am fully absorbed in this stuff. That day on the way up to the cottage, I bought one of those goofy magazines, what do they call it... the ones with lots of fake stories and bullshit. Anyway, I bought one that was all about Jesus and the end of the world...

I forgot to mention I was also heavily into illuminati conspiracies and believing that 2012 was the end of the world. I was watching Alex Jones videos and basically just scaring the shit out of myself.

It was just another way of creating order, where there was little... with all the drugs I was doing, my mind needed to find something to latch on to, and the Illuminati stuff just made sense at the time. Order out of chaos.

Anyway, that night at the cottage, I took exctasy again. At the cottage was me, my friend Darren, my friend Andrew, and my friend Jennifer.

That night was very painful for me, because we started playing that game.. where you act out a word. I think it's called Charades.

We started playing, and whatever action I would do, they would call out
"crazy"
"schizophrenic"
"delusional"
"fucked up in the head"

It was like some sick joke had been pulled on me. Here I had thought that I had just gotten to these profound realizations, and it turned out that I was just crazy.

That night my friends started saying weird things to me. Things like "The Answer is Yes! It doesn't matter what the question is!" and I didn't really ask them what they meant, I don't think I could have.

Looking back on it, I think they were telling me that I was suppose to be hitting on my friend Jennifer. She made comments about me during the night like "I like nice people better than mean people..."

I found this odd because all this time I thought I WAS a nice guy, and now it turned out I was an asshole? Not only was I schizophrenic, I was also an asshole.

I think I was overtly sexually aggressive that night, and that's why she was saying things like that. But the thing was, I wasn't even being sexual on purpose - it was just my subconscious - you know how E is suppose to make you horny? I wasn't even conscious of being horny but I must have been giving off those vibes. At the end of the night I told my friend that I think that I could have had sex with Jennifer and he said "I don't know what you're talking about, man"... but he knew what I was talking about.

This type of thing happened to me in the past as well, though. I used to hang out with a guy who made fun of me for being schizophrenic. And I had a lot of fear and confusion in those days as well. Once I was in a bus ride and a friend of a friend (a girl) said to me "You're not a man..." it was crushing.

Anyway, I had to give up being a Christian because my parents are Jewish and they had grandparents in the holocaust and they were offended by me becoming a Christian. Also, whenever I got high, I couldn't help but laugh at Christianity and the Bible - they seemed so dumb and backwards.

However, I was still very confused and guilty and afraid. Then someone on The Shroomery made a post, he said he was in Toronto and wanted to talk to someone about consciousness. He still posts here sometimes, his username was JoseLibrado.

It was once again, an evolution in order out of chaos. Here is a thread about it, I made a post after I met him: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8217291#8217291

After everything I had been reading, trying to figure out a way to be in a better reality - stuff like "Pronoia; The Antidote to Paranoia" and "The Mastery of Love" and "Understanding The Mind", I met this beautiful soul who somehow had all the answers. He was like a guru to me, things were starting to make sense.

This is what he wrote, but I think it makes more sense for me than it does coming out of him: "I remembered right now that during that trip, i felt like i was begging to sucumb to it all and the final straw - the guilt, the blame associate with begging to loose sight and slip into forgetfullness, directed towards my emotional body, was averted, because i was in the presence of a being, eternal, who activly attempted to co-create his reality, to live the truth, to enhance his experience, as an inspiration."

It was through Jose that I believed in chakras, and that I was basically stuck at the root chakra, the one focused around sexual energy. Jose also taught me that my time being a Christian was probably because it is a religion people go to when they are afraid of sex.

My search for order, for enlightenment, was finally getting somewhere. I met one of Jose's friends and he told me that 2012 was a metaphor, for something that could happen right now, it need not happen later. He said to me "This is like a dream" and I started actually feeling like I was waking up from a dream, in waking life! When I was with Jose it felt like I was lucid dreaming. I think it was all his energy, he just leaked out all this positive energy all tthe time, you could have some of this energy just by standing near him. Kind of like this Mooji guy:



People sit near this Mooji guy and just rest in bliss and peace.

So finally, there was a greater order in my life - global warming was coming, the media was evil, the new world order was real, but also I was able to get rid of my guilt, and my fear and confusion, at least for a small time.

Jose tried to teach me new ideas about sex. That the way I wanted it was not the right way - the idea that sex had to be bad for me to enjoy it.

He tried to get me thinking about bisexuality and change my thoughts about homosexuality.

Around this time, I started acting visibly different than before. My friends and family thought I was going crazy. I was having a hard time controlling my emotions. I believe this was partly because I was smoking pot, but also because of the new ideas I was learning from Jose. I had a very hard time just sitting at dinner with my folks, in silence... I felt like I needed to save up this energy that I had gotten from Jose - the energy would stay for about a week or two, and then I would need to see Jose again for a re-fill.

I started getting very paranoid about cell phones and microwave towers and other things that the "New World Order" had been using to poison us.

Anyway, one day I was with Jose, and while we were walking he turned around and said "Why don't you try going through the back door?"

I didn't know what he meant at the time, I thought he meant it as a homosexual thing - like, why don't I try and be gay? I still think maybe he meant that.

There is something to this homosexuality thing though...
Anyway, my energy had been different than ever before for the past two weeks or so. Everything became about sex for me - going to the mall - there was no other point other than to possibly hook up with girls - I would leave the house and walk for 5 hours just looking for girls to have sex with. Literally 5 hour walks, my energy would never run out.

I would go to this camp near my house, where my friends were counselors, and just walk around looking for girls, but I made the excuse that I was looking for my friend Lisa - they would just say "Oh, you have to go home. You have to call Lisa from home. It's very important that you call from HOME" (this HOME thing is important, It will be looked at again later in the story)

Then one night I take Ectasy with my friends... I'm at my friend Andrew's place, and my friends Darren and A.J are there. For some reason, I got higher than I've ever gotten before on E - wayyyy higher. I was more relaxed than I've ever been.

But before I'm relaxed, I was very anxious and pacing around his house. He said "what's the matter, (Eternal), you're making me nervous) and I start talking about how he has always scared me because he's bigger than me, and all this shit, I'm just being honest, and it makes me feel better. He says "tell me what you want for christmas" and I say "pussy!" and all of a sudden I feel a whole lot better, it's like I was meant to say it. I'm very relaxed now, and my friend starts talking about sex. What sex is like with his girlfriend, how he likes getting his dick sucked, and strangely enough..

I start to feel like I'm having sex! With nobody in particular. I feel it though. My friends start saying things like "Have some water" - and I would imagine drinking water, and it felt like my head would open up, like my mind was literally opening. Also, the energy of the conversation was different than I was used to - I don't really know how to explain this, but it's like when you talk, you can place the words in a certain way, in the air, like telekenetically... but you can only perceive it that way if you are really relaxed.

My friends tell me to call this guy they know, some friend of theirs. All I remember of the conversation was that he said "You are Ready..."

It was like I was reaching some new level in my life, a place of bliss and peace I could have only imagined.

It was weird because I was on Ecstasy yet I felt like I was having an ego-loss trip on Mushrooms! And the feeling had started even before I took the ecstasy. But it made sense, because my time spent with Jose was like being on mushrooms as well, and at that time I was completely sober. I was getting used to things being very weird in my reality. My friend told me to pretend that I was on mushrooms and just go with it... so I tried to completely let go, but there was still a part of me that hung on.

The next day, I still felt pretty much the same way as when I was on the peak of the trip. I had no comedown really.

That day I visited my friend at work. Strange things were happening. I felt somehow connected to the people there, and it made me very nervous - it was too intense. I had to go wait outside for my friend. Funny thing was, I knew exactly where he was in the building, and I knew exactly when he would come out to see me. I still don't know exactly how this works, but it was just some kind of intuitive knowledge.

I wandered off from his job site, and ended up in a field nearby. It was at that field that I started hallucinating, while I was cold sober. I would see myself, sometimes 2 or three versions of myself, standing outside of myself looking back at me. He would look down, and then look at me, and look back down... it was like he was expecting something from me.. I lay in the field for a bit, and then all of a sudden these skunks emerged from underneath a wooden patio thing that was in the little field. There were three skunks and they started having a threesome in front of me! I had never seen anything like this. It was really WEIRD. After they finished, they went back under the patio.

I knew then that I was being prepared to reach some sort of new level in my consciousness. These things happening were so weird and I wasn't even on the right kind of drugs for these things to be happening. After the skunks went away, I started feeling this force - the same force that brought me to the field - it started pushing me into trees, and fences.

I would get up off the ground, and the force would shove me towards the trees.. It was kind of like on salvia where you get forced to the ground, but the force felt nothing like the salvia force - not as strong. I knew while this was happening that I could resist the force, but somehow I knew this was all for my own good. I knew that I was being trained for something. After about 3 hours of getting pushed around, I decided to go home.

It took me a long time to get home, and when I got home I got a call from my friend that there was a rave that night and my friend had bought a ticket for me. I was excited because I knew I was going to get laid that night. My friend came over in a car to give me the ticket and he was like "I can't believe you've waited this long... just kidding, just kidding" - it was like other people telepathically knew what I was going through as well.

I log on to this site called Stickam, where people can chat online with webcams, basically you can see the people and talk to them via webcam. I go to my favorite room, and this guy I am familiar with is talking about the after-life. He is talking about ghosts, and how after they experience a certain something, it's like they enter a new life. This was so weird, it was like he was telepathically connected to me and talking about me on this chatroom, just when I turned it on. I asked him something like "does the ghost know he is a ghost?" and he said something like "I can hear you... but I cant HEAR you" like I wasn't speaking from my soul, as if I were a ghost... this is really weirding me out, I know something big is going to happen at that rave.

I go to the rave with my friends, and it gets WEIRD in the line-up to get in to the place. Everyone is saying "oh it's going to be a big night for him" and "lucky guy" like EVERYONE knew what was happening! Once again, it was WEIRD. I hadn't realized that everyone was really telepathic before.

People walked by me and they would go "What the hell?" or "What the hell is that?" like they were referring to my energy.
Some guy asked me if I wanted to sell my ticket and when I said no, he said "What the hell?"
People walked by me and laughed at me - this kept happening throughout the night. No, I wasn't dressed funny, or anything like that. It was like everyone was laughing at me because I had not realized that everyone is telepathic.

Anyway, then it happened - I couldn't get into the rave because I didn't have I.D. It really bummed me out. I told the bouncer guy "listen, you need to let me in tonight. you have to" - I said it almost to nobody, it wasn't really directed at him. He seemed empathetic which I was surprised cause most bouncers I had had experiences with were assholes, but this guy looked like he wished he could let me in.

That's when I remembered what Jose said: "Why don't you just go in the back door?"

And then I remembered... a few days earlier I was calling Trent University because I was going to switch from University of Toronto to Trent and the girl on the phone said "Well, we're open any time.. you can always come in from the back door" I knew she was subliminally talking about sex.

I swear I'm not crazy, I KNOW she was talking about sex. Because the other time I called, I started talking about switching universities and she started making orgasmic sounds over the phone, like she was moaning out loud over the phone.. my sexual energy must have been very powerful. I had only heard of this happening once before, some guy said that he was sexually connected to a girl so she kept leaving the room to masturbate: here is the video, it's called interview with a schizophrenic:



and yes, I do realize that both me and this guy in the video have been called schizophrenic so it might look like we are both just crazy, but I can't really prove that I'm not crazy, I can only share my experiences and let people take it the way they will.

Anyway, both Jose and this other girl had talked about going in through the back door, and now I was to put this advice into reality. I walked to the back of the rave which was fenced off, and I squeezed through between the fence and the wall, and I got in. Once I was in, the force took complete control.

Remember how I was forced into trees and fences? Well now the force was making me grind up against girls AND guys! This must have been what the homosexuality thing was about.. I kept getting pushed away, kept getting rejected, but the force kept making me grind up on people. Finally, the force pushed me through like 20 people really fast and I fell on to the ground. I got picked up by a guy who worked there and taken to the room where all the people who were way too high, or just generally having a bad time, went to.

I was in this room and it was like I had reached a higher level of consciousness. Not because of the Ecstay, in fact, the Ecstasy I took before the Rave didn't even make a difference - I am 100% sure the force would have done the same thing to me if I was sober, just like in the field earlier.

This guy says to me "Welcome back to Earth, (Eternal)" somehow he knew my name even though my friends weren't with me and nobody could have told him my name. This was the first time this happened, out of two times. It was very very weird but I didn't think much of it.

When he said Welcome back to Earth, it was like something connected in me. I had been living as if I was an alien on this planet for as long as I can remember.. I considered myself strange, weird, not normal.. and it was like after all that trauma, I could finally just be an Earthling again. It felt so good and peaceful.

There was this girl across from me, she was shaking and just generally having a bad time. I asked the guy "Is she going to be ok?" and he answers back "Better than you're going to be..." which I found was a strange comment considering I was physically fine and everything. But it was like he telepathically knew what was to come in my near future..

It was a weird night at the rave. I would kind of nod off, and come back to the room - every time I opened my eyes, the place where a girl was sitting, there was now a boy there. Where there was a boy, there was now a girl. It was like some kind of game was being played on me. They were all smirking as if they were little trickster elves.

There was a girl beside me who looked really sad, and I realized that I must have looked like she was looking. I knew then and there that she wanted to have sex, and she let me climb on top of her and start going at it, but we were in a room full of people so I was stopped, and forced to sit still. That would be just one of the many times that I was stopped from having sex.

After the rave, I got in a taxi with a guy. He told me about his daughter and then asked me if I understood what he meant. I said Yes but I don't think I really understood. Something to do with sex... He told me to tell my parents what happened to the rave that night.

So I got home that night, and I told my parents that I had been left by my friends that night at the rave and that I spent the night basically in the "sick tent" or whatever the equivalent of that is for a building. My parents knew there was something different about me last night. My dad drew me a bath and I told him that I tried to have sex with a girl but the people at the rave wouldn't let me. We talked about sex and my dad's dad who we think was a schizophrenic, and I felt closer to my dad than in a long time.

The next day, I am feeling very vulnerable and empathetic - we have to go to our cousin's house to have lunch. My parents are acting very WEIRD in the car ride up. My mom is saying "he doesn't know if he's waking up or falling asleep" (referring to me) and when I said something like "will the guys be there?" he says "Oh, the GUYS... Right, lol" as if there was some secret we were communicating telepathically.

We get to my cousin's house, and it's like completely different, energy-wise, than it's ever been. I am sitting in my chair basically freaking out, because I am so open. My sisters walk over and start feeling the hair on my legs, saying that "hair is a sign of virility" and asking me if I feel different. They must think that I had sex at the rave the night before.. and I sort of did. Maybe this is why I feel different? I never knew that my consciousness could change so radically just from having sex.

Then my cousins start saying weird things, like they are all speaking some subliminal language.. talking about "let's shine the light on him" and "oh, he thinks he's immortal". We went to a house before going to my cousins and it was equally as awkward.

Well, I asked to get taken home because I was so uncomfortable. It was so weird everything that was happening. I get home and I log in to the Stickam site, and everyone is subliminally talking about sex. I sent an instant message to a guy on there saying "This is so WEIRD" and he says something like, if I remember correctly, "Who would want to sever this connection? LOL!!!" as if I was responsible for not being telepathic all my life.

That night I ended up taking a very very long walk, and I began to get very scared. I was very sexually open and I was attracting the attention of other males' woman. I got the distinct impression that one of these guys may want to kill me. The medical community would call this a delusion, but I am not sure how much of a delusion it really is. It seemed like the whole city was a concrete jungle, and I was out there in the wild.

To defend myself against this perceived aggression I started filling myself with rage. I walked with rage. I passed by a guy and he said "Hey tough guy, can you.. (needed help with something, I can't remember with what)" and I remember saying "No, sorry" and then realizing that I had failed some sort of test, the test being that I should have ran over to him and started beating the shit out of him.

Towards the end of the night, I ended up on a bus that goes towards my house. There were 5 people on the bus - 3 girls, me, and another guy. 6 people if you count the bus-driver. This guy beside me was being really obnoxious, yelling about something or other. He was really getting on my nerves. Just then I get a call from JoseLibrado, I tell him that I don't want to speak to him ever again and he can just fuck off (I was filled with rage at this point) he says "Ok but can you explain why?" and I couldn't explain but I hung up.

The girl behind me is having a WEIRD (this whole weirdness is starting to become the norm) conversation with apparently her boyfriend on the phone, she is saying shit like "Do You Know What I Mean? What DO I mean to you?" it was if she was directly talking to me. The guy beside me then pointed to the girls and started saying things like "which one do you want? which one are you going to pick?". I told him under my breath to shut the fuck up. He started talking louder, and saying "COME ON, GIVE ME A BIG FUCK YOU" he said something like that a few times, this guy was a character. When we got to a certain stop, we all got off, and he got off with me and I was really angry at this guy. He was provoking me, so I lunged at him, and he punched me square in the face. I went down. I went up at him again. "I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL NIGHT"

And it was true, the whole night the rage was preparing me for this to happen. Then another WEIRD thing happened. I said "wait a second.. don't I know you?"

I had never seen this guy before, I don't know what prompted me to say it.. It was like if you've ever been on Ecstasy and met someone and felt like you've known them your whole life... but this time, I was completely sober!

That's not what was weird though.. what was weird is that he answered:
"Yeah, (Eternal), you know me" (or did he say "I know you, Eternal" yeah I think he did -- edit October 19 2014)
He knew my name! Just like the guy at the Rave! But How??? It didnt make any sense?? Am I in the Truman show?? WTF!!!

He started saying "where are your friends now? I remember you were all big and tough back in the day with your friends, but I don't see them here now". I had NO IDEA what the fuck he was talking about - I definitely never fought him as a kid - it was like he was making up a story so that it made rational sense that he knew my name - but I knew, and I still know, that there is no fucking rational explanation for this guy and the guy at the rave for knowing my name.. Just one of the confusing things about life.

The force is pushing me to fight him.. but I know I could possibly get killed fighting this guy, I am not a big guy, and he was a pretty big guy. I really want to fight him, I feel like I am suppose to, destined to, but I end up walking away.

When I'm walking away, he says "That's right. Go HOME. You have to go HOME NOW" (remember the counselors at the camp telling me to go home? synchronicity)

Wow, this is getting really long so I'm going to try and finish it in the next few paragraphs...

The force, after my fight with this guy, starts pushing me towards cars and trains. I realize that this night is the night I am going to die and go to an after-life. I realize that in my after-life I will finally get a girlfriend again, someone I can hold and love. This I believe was a delusion, something to make myself feel better because I was about to die. So I'm being forced towards a train, when two cops come and stop me.

I get arrested. I get put in a mental hospital.

The first day or two at the mental hospital, people are still subliminally talking about sex. This one guy is talking about having a party at his house, and whether or not the party is going to leave him with less than he had before or more..

Another synchronicity - before that night I got put away in the hospital, I read on the Shroomery some post about a guy who was having a party, and people in the shroomery were asking him if he was mature enough to have a party, and he was saying yes I am pretty mature.

So something about this party business that is weird...

Going back to the "Go Home" thing again, I got some kind of kidney test or something where they put jelly on your stomach and rub it around, right after he was finished doing the test, the doctor said "Go home" in the same way that the councelors and the guy who I got in a fight with said it.

People kept telling me in the hospital that "it's up to you..." .. I felt that they were saying it was up to me to take an interest in other people and not be so selfish..

Anyways, after a few weeks in the hospital the synchronicity died down.

My life is pretty much normal now. No "WEIRDNESS" to speak of. But now I feel like I am missing out on another reality I am suppose to be in. And people mention sex to me now and It's like "wow I am afraid of that, I don't think I could do it".

I mean, I guess it's all just part of some cycle.. but I believe that my soul is on a path. I transfered hospitals during my time spent in the mental hospital, and I passed some kind of test where I had to keep talking to the people in the ambulance and they gave me a thumbs up at the end of the ride..

I kind of feel like I'm not even suppose to talk about this stuff, like it's blasphemy or something... I don't know, let me know what you think, I guess.


--------------------

Edited by EternalCowabunga (10/19/14 11:01 PM)

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga] * 1
    #9752437 - 02/06/09 09:08 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Eat a healthy diet, get a good amount of sleep.  Exercise and try to integrate these experiences through sober reality.

Serenity will come.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9753645 - 02/07/09 06:15 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

EternalCowabunga said:
My life is pretty much normal now. No "WEIRDNESS" to speak of. But now I feel like I am missing out on another reality I am suppose to be in.




I read most of your post with intrigue (missed the first few paragraphs), and I'd like to give you my assessment, based on my general impression I took at the time (it isn't as though I studied your post meticulously and arrived at a solid conclusion :grin:).

I think you are very much capable of perceiving a lot of the subtle aspects of the reality that surrounds you in a very intuitive way. I think you are acutely perceptive to the energy and disposition of those around you, and I think you are capable of experiencing your experience (:grin:) with a lot of intensity, as you don't have so many mental barriers, compared to others, that separate your consciousness from nearly as much information your senses and your mind are producing.

I think, though, that the reason why you were struggling with what I guess you would call "schizophrenic" times, in the moments in which you were exceptionally aware of your experience and your surroundings, is due to a lot of attachments/addictions to security. This is also aggravated, I'm sure, by being so perceptive to others, who, by and by, operate with a lot of unresolved security issues (insecurity). I think this can be evidenced by your positive experiences with JoseLibrado, who probably was not experiencing life with very many unresolved, psychological issues. I base that on your description of the experiences, as well as my remembering how he posted, and consider it in contrast to the negative experiences and also simple observations about others around you.

Maybe the reason you feel like you are missing out on another reality you are supposed to be in is how your psychology responded to the bad trip of rage and the subsequent time in the mental hospital. I think maybe you tuned yourself out a bit from your more clear, intuitive, "connected" perceptions of reality in order to not aggravate the unresolved insecurity/identity issues that were causing the suffering/"schizophrenia"?

Anyways, be sure to take this with a grain of salt, because this is just an impression, and you know yourself and your psychology much better. A good book that you might find interesting would be Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes Jr. It is a book I coincidentally happened to find in a huge box of books my dad picked up at a garage sale once, but it has a great model by which to contemplate levels of consciousness and resolving attachments/addictions to different levels (like, for instance, needing to feel that one is secure). Might be worth a read. :wink:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9753681 - 02/07/09 07:08 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Woah.

Well, I've been there. I don't really know what else to say.

I do believe there are paranoid delusions involved, but they are built upon a very real energy interpretation.

A way to grasp it is to "freeze time" in your mind--or interpret reality with the factor of time being opened up to an all-encompassing concept.

In this state, direct cause and effect becomes less relevant. One can find the key to whichever door they wish, through whoever they wish. The "resolution" to one's inner conflict is often found within another who is willing to uphold the opposing force of that inner conflict.

ie, if I hate on people who wear hats in my mind all the time, and I run into a guy who hates on people who hate on people wearing hats, there's going to be a conflict even though we've never met and don't know each other egoically.

Or a better example would be if I was judgmental and critical of "player types" (womanizers?) and I've got to be in the same environment with one, co-existing alongside the object of attachment/aversion (women). A natural conflict/avoidance is bound to arise between the judger and judgee... and the extremity of that confliction is determined by HOW critically you judge people of a given nature. Of course, this is all exacerbated extremely if the person on the other side of the fence is also judging you with the same critical approach. This is why war exists, basically.

As awareness elevates, boundaries between individuals begin to break down. People become "archetypes" which represent the limited number of "slots" within which your mind is capable of fitting individual people.

These archetypes recognize and know each other inherently and intuitively. Like if you met a guy who shares most of your hobbies, you'd inherently "know" each other better, and feel more comfortable around each other.

Really complex maps of the above and the inverse of this (ie, traits that invoke conflict instead of harmony) seem to make up pretty much all of our subconscious social interactions.

-

Now, based on my own experiences, and contrasting them against yours... I would have to say that you were very in tune, but were scared and the paranoia warped your perception. Grasping at the concept of sex, you've learned the nature of attachment without actually getting involved in the object of your attachment.

For me, the situation was very similar. Strangers either seething with anger at me just for being who I am naturally, or strangers talking about me in a way that implies that I am struggling to grasp something psychically. For me, the object of this attachment fluctuated throughout my experience.

Now, the interesting thing is, these higher aspects of others may not have been talking about sex at all... that's your focus, which warps their influence. Interpreting your post, I would say you seem to grasp this to some degree. Maybe not fully consciously, which is the only reason I'm pointing it out.

More than likely these beings were talking about attachment in general and how it is essentially the vehicle through which we attain liberation. (Through release of attachment; which obviously cannot be without first learning attachment.)

Now sex is essentially the primary motivational force in this sense. We develop during puberty in a way that tells us to seek out this form of attachment as a modus of security.

It makes sense that this is a primary vehicle towards our understanding of attachment... but the important thing to understand is that when you let go of that attachment, the focus shifts. This means that when you let go of the attachment to sexual security, a new higher attachment is revealed and is to be dealt with.

In the context of your post, I see you shifting from an attachment to sexuality, to an attachment to a rage. There may be more transitions I missed, as I had to skim over a lot of it to get through the whole post.

-

Yet another way of interpretting this is chakric blockage and the opening thereof. You could think of the chakras as a series of "rounds" in a game. Each round is increasingly tricky, but not necessarily harder. It's just harder to figure out that you're still playing a game. If you can remember the game, you breeze through without resistance.

The sacral chakra (second) is largely concerned with sexuality. If you get caught there, the "unconscious communication" from "others" (it's actually your own unconscious communications, because unconscious mind is shared) will reflect it and attempt to show you where you are stuck. This is because (as you said) we are all sharing a mind unconsciously ("psychic") and they honestly want to help you. We have warped ideas of how to help others, though... trickery and gameplay is not uncommon in the shamanic realm, because these projected influences are being developed by a part of us that knows how good the ego is at avoidance.

If you let go of the sacral attachment, you will find yourself in the willpower round. Blockage in the willpower chakra can cause rage, because you're trying to stop the energy flow from passing through, "capturing" it with the part of your being that specializes in exerting your will. This is dangerous, and can lead to rage when the energy builds up too much.

-

A lot of this has to do with self-acceptance. It can be hard to accept our animal nature from the elevated perspective of the evolved higher consciousness. When we get stuck with one foot in lower awareness and one foot in higher awareness, (which often results from psychedelic use without the support of spiritual practices of some kind) things can get really confusing because we're using our own understanding as leverage to justify judging ourselves. From therein arises a conflict which projects out upon others.

-

Um.

This post is probably very fragmented. It's hard for me to think about this stuff... it automatically invokes a higher awareness that I'm still working on becoming comfortable with myself. But I wanted to offer you some of the thoughts that have helped me to assimilate this information into my reality.

I don't believe in wholly dismissing any experience I have in life. I AM, however, willing to delve into those experiences and consider where I might have been delusional. Usually the delusions come in smaller subsects of the experience, which is inherently truthful. Filter out the delusions, and you will find a greater truth that envelopes the entirety of humanity and the transitional process from (for example) fear/rage (closed 4th - heart, overloaded 3rd - willpower) or any other blockages/hangups; to love/acceptance. (an open and flowing chakric system within which one's consciousness is not clinging to any given aspect of the physical incarnation.)

-

[Note: this is just my two cents. Obviously, this is all my interpretation of aspects of reality that cannot be confirmed nor denied through scientific analysis. Thus, I won't be responding to any debate-focused follow-ups.]

Edited by JacquesCousteau (02/07/09 07:24 AM)

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9753844 - 02/07/09 08:35 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Heartbeat. I hear the rhythm of speed.
    Rose… is the color of blood that goes with the flow; back to the heart
      Intro.  11:11
    You got to have a plan; the beast/plant  is hungry.  Five hours? Really? WHAOW. I would not change that. Go to school… be your dad… or not.
      So… my lyrics go like… Beat… beat … you did not know how to drive and went in the pit… tough little car to go back in the race… good mechanical feat to return from all beat up with no speed and no rave/rage to finish up… even if last… before all the ones that lit up… burning they gone to hell. (a hole they cannot climb)


--------------------
Wave.
'And for this reason repentance (metanoia) is an elevating means. For he who feels impatience with the circunstances in which he finds himself, devises means of escape.
  Now the chief thing in purification is the will. For then both deeds and words lend a helping hand. But, when the will is absent, the whole purificatory discipline of initiation is...'

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9753865 - 02/07/09 08:45 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Excellent post, Jacques. :thumbup: Although you thought it was kind of fragmented, I thought it flowed very well, and loved how it seemed that you said everything I did, but in much greater detail. :smile:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9753867 - 02/07/09 08:46 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

That was a very interesting read, very much like reading a drug trip. I agree fireworks that you seem to have little mental barriers and as a result small changes have a greater effect at driving your life.

I have a good friend who is similar in the sense that she seeks out synchronities, and as a faithless person I have to wonder why this is neccessary. There is a helluva lot going on in this reality, especially if we were to translate everything into mathematics, because of this finding synchronities in life seems very natural and inevitable to me. Meaning is something that is subjective, we apply it ourselves (conciously or not), be aware of you're own traps. Things are bound to line up and cause some interesting coincidences throughout life, be careful not to convince yourself of some divine meaning and never look back.

This I say, like I said, from a faithless perspective, and I am not saying that living in fashion where I don't go searching for meaning is any more enjoyable than the other way around. I just don't like people trapping themselves in their minds.

You very much need to have sex, you're body is telling you that very strongly and seems to be releasing a whole lot of pheromones, this really does cause the opposite sex to pay more attention to you, it's neat. Find someone you can be open with about you're fear of sex. :shrug: Everyone is worried their first time, find someone who understands that.

Also...
but I knew, and I still know, that there is no fucking rational explanation for this guy and the guy at the rave for knowing my name..

...no you don't.


--------------------
Let's get the fuck out of here.

Edited by Bernackums (02/07/09 08:56 AM)

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9753916 - 02/07/09 08:58 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Excellent post, Jacques.:thumbup:




Do you have any reccommended reading on chakras? I have no experience with them at all, but they seem to be an excellent way of looking at and understanding the human body.


--------------------
Let's get the fuck out of here.

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9754040 - 02/07/09 09:25 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks for sharing, good luck.

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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: Bernackums]
    #9754107 - 02/07/09 09:50 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Bernackums said:
Quote:

Excellent post, Jacques.:thumbup:




Do you have any reccommended reading on chakras? I have no experience with them at all, but they seem to be an excellent way of looking at and understanding the human body.




Hm.

Well. Not really. To be honest, most of my interpretation of the chakra system and how to relate it to my body have been my own realizations. It all started when I realized that the chakra system is a map to help one attain physical balance or "centeredness." This is why yoga helps open chakras--it's all about physical centering and balance.

There are many resources out there on chakras in general. What you've got to do is to look into them with a general understanding that it's a metaphor for the energy system that is your reality.

In other words, don't go into a resource expecting them to hold your hand and carefully explain how you're supposed to relate to it. Instead, just start reading about them in general (hindu or buddhist studies are a good place to find more about them) and use your creative energy to compare it to other aspects of your reality. The more you study it, the more you will inherently "know" and understand the relationship between chakras and the body.

Don't get discouraged. That's the most important thing. You've got to have faith that you can know something unconsciously. The system is too broad and complex to understand mentally. Instead, you must accept that some things can only be known through feeling. The more you do this, the more you will (mentally) notice that you are naturally synchronizing and calibrating yourself to the concept and vice versa.

I like to talk about chakras with my friends a lot. A lot of my understanding comes from "applied usage"--ie, situations in reality that invoke a discussion inherently due to the obviousness of it's relation to a certain chakra blockage or opening process.

I'm sorry I don't have specific references for you... but immerse yourself in spiritual art and knowledge and you will soon grasp it.

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OfflineBernackums
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9755215 - 02/07/09 02:37 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

. What you've got to do is to look into them with a general understanding that it's a metaphor for the energy system that is your reality.

Very well put, and I feel I understand what you're getting at quite well. Thanks. :thumbup:


--------------------
Let's get the fuck out of here.

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: Bernackums]
    #9757952 - 02/07/09 11:14 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks guys, your posts have been very helpful. I was worried about what kind of reaction I would get to telling my story, but I'm glad to see that the responses have been supportive and not condemning. I am going to look into chakras, I have a book that will be a decent start, and i'm going to look into things like yoga and meditation again.

Jacques, what you said about chakra blockages makes a lot of sense to me.. and what you guys said about attachment.. makes sense


--------------------

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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9758913 - 02/08/09 05:16 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

EternalCowabunga said:
Thanks guys, your posts have been very helpful. I was worried about what kind of reaction I would get to telling my story, but I'm glad to see that the responses have been supportive and not condemning. I am going to look into chakras, I have a book that will be a decent start, and i'm going to look into things like yoga and meditation again.

Jacques, what you said about chakra blockages makes a lot of sense to me.. and what you guys said about attachment.. makes sense




Cool, man. The spiritual path is a righeteous one when it comes to solving these kinds of inner issues.

Feel free to keep in touch via PM if you want to talk about this stuff in the future. (Or just keep this thread alive; I'm sure I'll check in.)

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9774183 - 02/10/09 08:05 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I really don't have much to add other than I understand what you mean about us being here to learn. I once had an out of body experience. It started with me having a realization while siting in my friends garage and instantly it felt like I was way out in space. It felt like I became the one instead of being part of the one. I looked back on my life and every moment seemed like I was being prepared for that. Energy was going everywhere through my body (which I could still come back to) I felt like I was done on earth and that I had passed all the test. It was an amazing experience but my life has been down hill fast since that night so I am going to tell you not to be in a big hurry to reach enlightenment. Take it slow.


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: Realized]
    #9774235 - 02/10/09 08:16 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I know this is relative but being 'enlightened' really sucks. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: Realized]
    #9776974 - 02/11/09 06:02 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Joy is a natural quality of "enlightenment" according to the Buddha.

Its healthy to doubt your own enlightenment (and everything else that is yours) in favor of being humble.

-
EternalCowabunga: I think it would have been a better post if you were to talk about what you think a good man actually is. In my opinion, the path to being a good man has been perfectly laid out here: Sigalovada Sutta. After I read that, I don't think I had anything further to know or to add about that subject :lol:

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Re: The afterlife is in this life, I am a Ghost, we are here to learn [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #9781769 - 02/11/09 10:56 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Phew, that was a good read.

I could relate about 50/50, which was more than enough to spur deep thinking. Thanks.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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