|
Anonymous #1
|
Failed suicide attempt
#9729759 - 02/03/09 05:09 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I need to know how. I am at the bottom of the downward spiral, and just asking for help alone has not done any good, nobody shows enough care to help. I do not know what to say here other than I have always been noticeably different and I still do not know whats wrong with me and want to find out. The past 5 years of my life have been my soul drifting away from my body, I feel dead inside. I need to show someone that I really do need help, but the only way that I know how to do that is with a handgun or heroin+benzos. I do not want to die without a second opinion first.
Someone please help me
|
big2us
Stranger
Registered: 11/18/07
Posts: 77
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
|
|
come on buddy we don't want to see you kill yourself. It may seem like it sucks right now, but things will get better. I do not know your situation, but if you need to talk to someone give me a hollar buddy. I have had my downs in life, but with a little determination and maybe some help from some peeps we can help you get on the right track. If you are using heroin the first thing for you to do is get off that shit and move away or don't associate with anybody that uses that garbage. It only ends up with prison or death that shit is the devil it steals your soul. Hit me up.
|
rchtyp
Ethnoring Administrator
Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 363
|
Re: Failed suicide attempt [Re: big2us]
#9729860 - 02/03/09 05:40 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I am not a heroin user and I have never tried it. The only drugs I have done are marijuana, salvia, and prescription drugs. I was implying that I would not be able to fail a suicide, it would be successful.
I do feel that my depression and apathy is linked to a very large dosage of Prozac I took 2 years ago, maybe even linked to heavy marijuana use but I do not think that is it because others have used marijuana heavily for years and had no problems. I started taking lexapro 1 week and 2 days ago, I have a feeling it is contributing to these problems, but at the same time it balances my mood so I do not feel so down.
|
Kupo
Kupop!
Registered: 08/07/08
Posts: 2,112
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
|
|
What's going on to cause you to feel dead?
Do you have any hobbies?
What are your friends up to?
|
Head Space
Explorer
Registered: 06/11/08
Posts: 137
Loc: TN
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
|
Re: Failed suicide attempt [Re: big2us]
#9729894 - 02/03/09 05:45 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Yeah man, no need to end it! I've had someone very close to me attempt suicide before. I know it can be tough, and seem like your out of options. But thats just not the case. The fact that you posted here shows that there's hope. There some great people around here.
I think there is something here you need to overcome. And it may seem like it too much, too hard, or just plain not worth it... but that not true. Right now you can't see all the potential, of you! and the world! Help is on the way... you can always PM me if you need someone to hollar at. If not tell us more, the more insight we have, the better chance we have at finding a solution.
-------------------- Whats Haaaapening???
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Failed suicide attempt [Re: Kupo]
#9729959 - 02/03/09 05:59 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
mrspirit2 said: What's going on to cause you to feel dead?
Do you have any hobbies?
What are your friends up to?
Feeling lifeless
Computers used to be my life, I would program and just mess around whenever I had the chance, I used to be knowledgeable and caring now I try but am neither
I'm not sure. I do have friends, but I am too apathetic to do keep up with them. I think most of them have given up on me, I always say no to going out and doing things.
I honestly used to care until I saw how careless most people are. "Be the change you want to see in the world" - that is hard to do when you see that your change will never affect anything.
|
sunflower
We're here....
Registered: 08/19/06
Posts: 552
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
|
|
Ok, so you want help....You really just want to feel better, you don't want to kill yourself, right?
Just curious, if you could be or do anything, what would it be, or what would you do?
--------------------
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Failed suicide attempt [Re: sunflower]
#9730094 - 02/03/09 06:25 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
sunflower said: Ok, so you want help....You really just want to feel better, you don't want to kill yourself, right?
Just curious, if you could be or do anything, what would it be, or what would you do?
My suicidal thoughts seem to tumble a lot. Same with my moods ever since my massive SSRI intake, but suicidal thoughts are much more recent. It used to be only suicidal idealism, it has turned into more than just something to ponder about over the past few months. It has turned into an escape.
Anything? Well, they probably seem like childish ideas right now, but they won't 500-1000 years from now. I want to be able to vividly see the beginning of the universe being formed, all the way through the evolutionary stages that brought us to what humans are now. I want to see the day that we know enough about the brain and neuroscience/nanotechnology to administer a pill (or in some other form) an item that will automatically detect and adjust unbalanced brain chemicals and problems, instead of just giving someone a chemical and telling them to try it. I want to see the day where peace is heavily promoted and bigots are shunned as much as they shun others ideas.
Actually, I really don't know what I want. But that seems like a good start I guess.
|
KidgardFromSRQ
Strange
Registered: 05/30/05
Posts: 1,501
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
|
Re: Failed suicide attempt [Re: sunflower]
#9730117 - 02/03/09 06:30 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I'll tell ya man, I've fooled around with heroin and have an addiction to Oxycontin I'm trying to quit. It's not pretty, if you're addicted to opiates, I know how you feel. I'm not that bad down the river, but I have been very depressed as a result of my use... or so I believe. All my friends are hooked on that shit terribly, too. Don't snuff yourself, though. There's so much out there in this world, on this earth to see and do. It may be hard to see when you're depressed, I know. My girlfriend just dumped me, too. First girl I ever really in truly loved. I'm still feeling it and that was over a month ago. On top of an oxy addiction, that just doesn't make it better.
I think sometimes, the best thing to do, is get away. Go see something new. That's why I'm trying to leave the country so fast. I'm trying to save up and move to Israel to work on a kibbutz. Right now, it's the only thing I have to look forward to in my future. I won't tell you what to do, but consider looking into traveling. You can learn wonders about yourself. Sometimes, you need to be immersed in a completely different world than your own to understand your own. I hope it's of help to you. I do care about you. And I think everyone else who posts on this thread does as well, or else they wouldn't of taken the time to respond. I hope you don't kill yourself, man. If you need to talk man, I've got an ear for ya. I can't promise I'll be able to help you, but I'll at least listen.
-------------------- Be nice to people in general. Even if you don't like them.
|
Kupo
Kupop!
Registered: 08/07/08
Posts: 2,112
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
mrspirit2 said: What's going on to cause you to feel dead?
Do you have any hobbies?
What are your friends up to?
Feeling lifeless
Computers used to be my life, I would program and just mess around whenever I had the chance, I used to be knowledgeable and caring now I try but am neither
I'm not sure. I do have friends, but I am too apathetic to do keep up with them. I think most of them have given up on me, I always say no to going out and doing things.
I honestly used to care until I saw how careless most people are. "Be the change you want to see in the world" - that is hard to do when you see that your change will never affect anything.
I know some of the things you are feeling right now. I STILL battle with the feelings of depression I get when I think how heartless and fucked up most of this world is. No one seems to care, it's rather sad.
En masse, us people are downright retarded. But if you can focus on your friends and family, the ones that really matter..and be as loving a person as you can, I believe you will make change. We're all stuck in this shithole together, right?
Right now you probably feel like there is no hope. I can tell you from experience of being in suicidal modes of thinking that you do have hope. Sometimes depression is like a good buzz, it comes..and it goes. While it may seem like you're stuck in this place, you CAN get out of it. It's solely up to you, though. Sometimes it lasts wayyy longer than a good buzz. I've had that too. I used to get down for just months(hell, pretty much my whole youth) and hide in my room and play video games all day. I never went outside.
It will end, whether you kill yourself or not. One day you will die, so why rush it? You have to make the conscious decision to keep on living and try your damnedest to get back on your feet and feel happy again, if that is truly what you want. If you truly want to die, then do as you will.
It sounds like you need to find something that really gets you interested, a new hobby. The only thing that keeps me going is my interests.
Do you have a job?
Do you get along with your friends?
Do you use drugs?
I'm not going to approach this from a chemical imbalance point of view. If someone else wants to, feel free.
What kind of code? Why can't you code anymore, lack of interest?
Do you exercise?
What is your diet like?
Please take your time in answering this, no rush.
|
Rahz
Alive Again
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,302
|
|
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
|
RonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader
Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,617
Loc: Straight Outta Compton
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
|
Re: Failed suicide attempt [Re: Rahz]
#9732245 - 02/03/09 11:33 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Don't kill yourself man. What's your daily life like. How's your diet and exercise regimen? I ask this because this helps me alot.
--------------------
|
Anonymous #2
|
|
I am sorry things are tough right now for you.
But this is a truth...
Why should anyone care about someone who doesn't care about himself? You cannot expect people to care, man. Some of them do. But nobody can really help you except yourself. I'm not saying that to be mean. This is a fact of life. You are born alone, and you'll die alone. Nobody shows enough care to help? Nobody is obligated to. Nobody can help you, except you. You can't blame the world for this one. Even if you go into therapy and receive psychiatric care, it will be on your shoulders to heal and move forward. With that said...
What type of help do you expect to get from others?
Have you considered therapy and psychiatric care? Are you saying that nobody is helping you get help, so you can help yourself?
Have you exhausted all options? Do you need rehab? Are you savagely addicted, and you need a way out of your current situation? Because Life Situations can always Change, dude. They can. They don't need to change violently, either.
It sounds like you are pretty desperate, for relief. Yeah, I hear you. Loud and clear. It sounds like you are frustrated that your needs are not being heard and acknowledged by others. But if you're that desperate, then fuck ODing or messing with a handgun. Please don't choose that route. It'll be so much more stressful for you and everyone else, I guarantee it. Hurting yourself is not the answer, even if it might seem like it's the only way to get people to know what rough shape you're in. Look in your phonebook. Call a helpline listed under the psychiatric care stuff, or even call 911, and let them know that you're on the brink. I mean, you gotta exhaust all options, if you are interested in staying alive.
I don't really try to convince people not to kill themselves anymore. You're your own man (or woman). You'll do what you'll do. Sounds like you're trying to work through your desperation to make an educated decision. Only you have the power over your own life. From your post it seems like you want to live, you want to make sure at least that you make the right choice. Well, life is not a guarantee, by any means. You could die next week from getting hit by a truck. Or you could live until you're 90. You could happy as a lark next month, or you could face down the suicide-road several times until your final demise. I dunno. Life is a trip. You ever swim with it, or you fade away.
It's your choice, obviously. Either way, what you choose is fine with me, because it's your body. I tend to avoid these threads, because usually people just want other people to do the work for them. I'm like that sometimes myself. But there is nothing really for us to do. There is nothing for anyone to do. You're anonymous, so you never know...it could be someone I care about. Or maybe I just care about people. I can throw a few words around...but even I can't care enough about a person to save them from themselves. It's impossible. I am just not that powerful. Nobody is.
If you need a boost, you're in a desperate place, yeah, I get that; you can seek help without making a big dramatic show. There are ways you can DEMAND help, without causing yourself any more suffering, or others. You don't deserve suffering. Nobody does. Take it easy on yourself, man. Please be gentle on your Being. Call a help line in the phonebook, or look online. Tell them your intentions to kill yourself. Be specific and let it all hang out. I dunno if they'll listen to you or not. But it's worth a try. There's more then one place to call. I know what it's like to be afraid of yourself, of what you might do, of not being able to trust yourself. Maybe that's not your problem and I'm just projecting. Whatever...our culture makes people mentally sick. Escape your cultural conditioning. You're worthwhile, if you care. fuck those guys.
Good luck, either way.
|
johnnymellow
New Guy
Registered: 09/23/08
Posts: 13
Last seen: 15 years, 5 days
|
|
You mentioned that you don't go out when you're friends invite you, but in my honest opinion you should definitely take them up on their offer. Youre probably young, and life is a beautiful thing to waste. So have fun and don't take anything too seriously.
Just remember, everything is temporary, but everything takes time. Youll get over it in time. Life is just a game, so play it.
|
dieselkush
Stranger
Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 582
Last seen: 14 years, 6 months
|
Re: Failed suicide attempt [Re: big2us]
#9732390 - 02/03/09 11:57 PM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Don't lie to him, you see the truth is my mister anonymous friend. the majority of people don't give a flying fuck about you. a man can be injured on the street and die because people just pass them by. were in such vast numbers that we are looked at as a whole instead of individual. when one of us dies,no biggie. nothing changes and happens, life carrys on unnoticeable. But when part of our whole dies such as thousands of people, it makes a dent. its noticeable,but still life goes on barely unchanged.4 years later everythings back to normal,but when thousands upon thousands die. It creates a hole, and the hole needs to be repaired and regenerated. this is when it gets noticed,the hole cant go away or be ignored because its gotten too much attention. So if you killed yourself tomorrow, chances are most of us wouldn't give a fuck because a 100 of other people would die that same day. So what good would death to you be? The soul is nothing but kinetic energy that the body holds. it powers every organism and cell in our body. Kinetic energy cannot be destroyed as well, so the problem isn't you loosing your soul or having it Ben lost. But how to uncover,and reveal it. much like an are-loom in-cased in dirt and grime, it needs to be cleansed an cleaned to be seen and felt.so how do you reveal it? much like a process there are many factors that make up the main factor, solve the many and you correct the main. look at every little, every big thing thats slowly covered and hid your "soul", and determine how to correct or reverse them to make the main factor function.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
What have you done to feel this way?
|
bobbysroomlord
Stranger
Registered: 01/10/09
Posts: 15
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
|
|
Some poeople see beauty everywhere they look. Some people have to search for eternity. But you will find it.
|
lukey2411
Stranger
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 740
Loc: Australia, Victoria, (S.E...
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
|
|
Im in a rush, but you can always P.M me if you need to talk. If you are willing to kill yourself, you should be willing to go through some simple measures and see if your life improves.
I really think it's important to acknowledge that suicide will always be an option, however drastic it may be. The point i'm trying to make is that you can always kill yourself tomorrow, or in a week, or a month. Preferably never, of course. But it's nothing that you need to rush into. If you are feeling this way, you really dont have much to lose by biding your time and reevaluating your life every week. I hope this doesnt come off the wrong way. I cant really revise atm.
|
|