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OfflineEM455
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: mutant]
    #9840319 - 02/21/09 05:49 PM (15 years, 29 days ago)

Hey mutant as you say, I know that psychedelics have potential danger attatched to them...even if I am pro-psychedelics in a different way (meaning I think psychedelics are good if used properly)  I am not biased in any way.
I'm curious, what's your mother language then?

quote: ''So you are having second thoughts because your last trip was a bad trip.. You had a panic attack during it.. And you haven't had a panic attack for years? What was the panic about? Did it last all the way? Have you figured out what went wrong?''

Well I never really had second thoughts per se...I mean since the second I stopped bad-tripping I knew I wanted to trip again but didn't know when....I had never had a panic attack before that trip...and what is weird is that the panic was about nothing specific at first...I haven't figured out what caused it in the first place...I was having a great time and suddenly my mind said ''wow I'm having a bad trip'' out of nowhere and then I started panicking and I didn't know what I was afraid of, until the come down when I was afraid of becoming insane for ever but that thought only appeard near the end of the trip because of all the things that had happened before while I was panicking the hardest for no reason and also because I didn't know if I should trust my own knowledge about shrooms in that moment. The panic lasted almost the whole trip. I have some theories of what could have gone wrong but nothing conclusive :S probably set and setting issues...I though I had the perfect set and setting before tripping though but things didn't turn out as I expected them to.
Maybe I just wasn't ready for that dose, but it doesn't explain to me exactly why I panicked for nothing: I didn't think I was dying, I didn't experience ego loss, I didn't see frightening visuals...only some overwhelming ones but I usually like those and I was liking them in the moment they occured.


quote: '' don't believe your 'signs' are vague. I think they are plenty and quite definate. ''

Do you mean psychedelics are not for me and I should never trip? :S I would be kinda sad about it. but if I found out that it was true without a doubt and that I should never trip I would accept it and would never trip again for sure. That's the major question I have about psychedelics, because everybody keeps saying ''they're not for everyone'' cool, I understand and accept that, but how to know for SURE if I am among the ''not-everyones''? trial and error? like tripping, if I become insane then fine I wasn't meant to trip, if I don't well then I'll just have to wait :p xD? That doesn't sound prudent at all to me that's why i'll try at least to get some tests done before my next trip.

quote: ''knowing why and how you will set-up an experience, when/if you decide such a thing, learn to choose your companions for a potential trip, mind the doses etc etc etc... at least IMHO''

That's what I meant by being moderate too...always precise doses, starting low (I started with a gram or less then a gram of panaelous cyanescens for my first trip)....good set and setting...reading everything about the drug before trying it, having an intention for the trip etc....that's what I was doing...maybe I missed something?
I read the shroomery and erowid and trip reports and vendor advices plus a couple of books for months before my very first trip.

I must admit though, with my third and las trip (the bad one)I took the wrong dosage (meaning not what I had planned), because I took truffles instead of mushrooms and those must be weighted differently: I didn't know that back then so I purchased 30 grams fresh truffles, they got dry, I assumed they then were 3 gram dry truffles(wrong cause truffles have less water % when fresh so they weight more than the same amount of shroom when dried), equivalent to 3 grams dry shrooms.
Simplified, 30 gram fresh truffles don't become 3 gram dry truffles but more cause they barely lose weight by drying.
So I probably ended up eating something close to a double dose of what I had planned (at least according to what I've read here about truffles, after the trip).

quote:''And man, a trip's price in money is nothing compared to your health. Give away the trip to someone else who will benefit, if you think it's not a good time... Some say 'if in doubt, double the dose'. I say this is bullshit. ''

I agree with you 100%
I wasn't worried about the monetary cost of the shrooms but the shrooms themselves...I went through so much to get them, and they were of different substrains, high quality and all, I was sure that even by growing(I have spores, but not vermiculite:( ) or eating local shrooms that grow here,  I would never find such fine, perfect shrooms again in my life xD (specially since the ban in the netherlands, my shrooms are from there so it's kinda even mitical to have shrooms from there where I live specially after the ban, it's like they were collectable rarities) it sounds stupid I know but that's how I felt...I've decided that even if I don't ever eat them I'll keep them as a ''souvernir'' xD. I would have given them away though (I did so with some amanitas I had), but there are not so many trippers around my area and the ones who trip don't know shit about shrooms they just buy them fresh(there's a village here near some fields where they sell massive amounts of shrooms) and would think I'm trying to poison them by offering them dried shrooms which they would think are bad or rotten for the way they look.
I have other friends who have never tripped and would love to but they don't know shit about it and I don't like giving shrooms to first timers (I don't like giving any drug except for weed to anybody experienced or not for that matter actually, because I don't want to take responsability for another person's life or health, specially if they haven't took the time to read about the drug which would be hard anyway because most people don't speak english here and all the good info is in english or in other languages than spanish). That amanita gift was of course before my bad trip who taught me how bad things can be when they get bad xD at least I learned something and will never give drugs or entheogens to anybody again unless they've tried them several times before and even then I'd have my doubts.


I do find your thoughts very interesting and useful and think you may have some of the answers I'm looking for as to how to avoid bad outcomes out of tripping. So keep it coming xD and tell me what you think about my case and about krypto's case which has intrigued me a lot!

thanks for everything man

P.S.: this thread seems to talk about the same issues we are addressing here, maybe it's worth a good read. I haven't read it but I'll just put the link around here....at least the title seemed interesting enough to me :smile:

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/8803974/page/0/fpart/1/vc/1

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Offlinemutant
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: Salomon]
    #9851865 - 02/23/09 06:26 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

I had never had a panic attack before that trip...and what is weird is that the panic was about nothing specific at first...I haven't figured out what caused it in the first place...I was having a great time and suddenly my mind said ''wow I'm having a bad trip'' out of nowhere and then I started panicking and I didn't know what I was afraid of




IMO thats what you better work out, especially if you intend to trip again some time: what went wrong both in you [f.e. set, why panic?] and the setting , the trigger of the bad trip... you might learn some simple things about your self from that, maybe... or maybe not... some say all trips are usefull etc etc... maybe it's like that, but IMO a bad trip is a 'something went wrong' thing. it's a gain, if you learn more about yourself and set  setting , thinking about what things you need to take care next time... So mostly, I think what a bad trip ultimately offers is to grab you from the balls and say: 'this is not candy. plan every time very well before consuming' If you feel fine now, consider youself warned... thing could have been much harder... like it has been in other situations...

having said that, this dose must be quite big.. truffles are more potent I am told...

This is a saying i like regarding people respect , but fits here too : 'Respect is earned, not self-evident' . You can't just say I respect LSD, ok, so lets go eat 6 hits and go on a walk in to town...[ very harsh example]  you have to really mean and feel the respect, or else you might learn the hard way.. most take the hard way to learn this, but some are more prone to problems when a 'bad' moment comes ...

Quote:

Quote:

'' don't believe your 'signs' are vague. I think they are plenty and quite definate. ''




Do you mean psychedelics are not for me and I should never trip? :S I would be kinda sad about it. but if I found out that it was true without a doubt and that I should never trip I would accept it and would never trip again for sure. That's the major question I have about psychedelics, because everybody keeps saying ''they're not for everyone'' cool, I understand and accept that, but how to know for SURE if I am among the ''not-everyones''? trial and error? like tripping, if I become insane then fine I wasn't meant to trip, if I don't well then I'll just have to wait :p xD? That doesn't sound prudent at all to me that's why i'll try at least to get some tests done before my next trip.




this has to be one of the most sincere discussion I have made on the subject. Thanks for this :smile: Most people don't like to discuss such things and even knowledgeable people in communities like this dismiss a lot of dangers, trying to defend psychedelics..

You CANT KNOW FOR SURE. it's not all black and white... it's not a switch, either on or off... we all have issues... little complexes, egoistical shits, jealousy.. shit like this... we have inherited LOTS of stuff from our parents and the enviroment... both 'good' and 'bad'... the 'issues' lie on the 'bad'. But it's up to you to decide... IF you wanna search it, WHAT do you want from your life... You only can ultimately know you and whats 'good' for you.. I can only discuss from my PC, which I very happily do... Greek is my mother language btw.. anyway... noone can do this for you... you have to learn yearself... you're young.. how old are you?? Finish you school/studies, get on with your life.. if you want something euphoric maybe try something else... If you fool around a lot with psychs [or anything from pot to stimulants to opiates, all kind of drugs actually] you might transform a simple issue like mild anxiety into a full-blown anxiety disorder... [just an example]

You have some of what I consider warning signs, this is an issue regardless of psychedelics.. Working with these issues, regardless of psychedelics , again, is an option.. Combining the two is an option too: psychedelic psychanalysis.. but don't think, like many, that it's a proceedure done automatically by the ingestion itslef... shit no... and it's not pleasant either... but not on a bad trip vein... no.. insight , especially psychanalytic, guided or self-done, reveals mostly unpleasant stuff from the past and present, especially if you really have some issues, and that's the point of it... but it's immensly different from the concept of a bad trip...

anyways, regard these comments another persons take, as I do have a psychanalytical approach to the classic psychedelics... not because I have some issues myself... psychanalysis can benefit both the mentally unstable AND the 'healthy' ones...  But sure I have felt the euphoria of the psychedelic epiphany...


hey krypto how are you doing man?? I hope everything is fine...

Many might hate me for this, but in studying mental disorders or situaltions in general, we might wanna group them in neuroris and psychosis... there is a large difference between the two groups... psychedelics have proved to be able to help in a lot of the nevrosis situations under guided sessions, but have proved to be more unstable and explosive with psychosis... not saying they can never help, just that it's way more risky, even 'heroic', if you might...

And here I will also say I am not an advocate of big doses, on the contrary... doing large doses is only for people who very well know what they're doing.. and mind you , by big dose I don't mean 6 blotters, or 7 gr of cubensis... way lower also rates as a big dose IMO. Especially for unknown materials and/or firsttimers

I have to admit that my knowledge or personal interest or whatever, anyways, have been more focused on nevrosis and aquirable stuff rather than biological, so I can't really say much for  krypto's case, either than hope everything will go fine from now on... But I believe that pot, stimulants or any further psychedelics could and most certainly will make it worse. You are on anti-psychotics? Try to plan further... take up a hobby, an interest, do sports, I don't know what you like... Becoming a normal person or trying to anyway might be a dull situation, but I believe that, in you case it might possibly the best thing you can do...

loggin out, cheers

Edited by mutant (02/23/09 06:40 PM)

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Offlinemutant
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: EM455]
    #9851884 - 02/23/09 06:28 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

oops double post sorry, delete

Edited by mutant (02/23/09 06:29 PM)

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Offlinechrissmith002
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: mutant]
    #9852663 - 02/23/09 08:35 PM (15 years, 27 days ago)

where do you get your acid??? :laugh:

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OfflineInnoculus
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: chrissmith002]
    #9854588 - 02/24/09 07:28 AM (15 years, 26 days ago)

Quote:

chrissmith002 said:
where do you get your acid??? :laugh:



Probably from toothpaste and orange peels, like everybody else, amirite?

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OfflineEM455
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: chrissmith002]
    #9854590 - 02/24/09 07:31 AM (15 years, 26 days ago)

Hey there mutant...I don't know why but I really like your answers :smile: you're one of the few people I've met here so far (I mean so far...cause I'm sure there are many others out there I just probably haven't met them here yet or just forgot) that don't just say, ''shrooms are safe that's all you need to know''(of course I don't think anybody has said it exactly like that, it's a harsh example, maybe a parody don't know )
I think everything has pros and cons and you need to study both in depth specially the cons and specially if it's regarding psychedelics and mental health which is just as important as physical health (I'd dare to say even more important).
Anyway I agree with what you said about working with my last trip and figuring out what went wrong. I've tried but I haven't come up with anything conclusive just a lot of different theories that may have made me feel uncomfortable (ie: I ran out of cigarrettes and I am a big smoker specially while tripping or the fact that I messed up with the dose) that kinda of stuff that maybe cumulated and caused the setting and thus the set to change? I don't know, so many things happened that day, I'm just really glad I managed to stay coherent and managed to regain my mind completely after less then 6 hours. The real problems started a month after the trip I don't  know if they were related to the trip or not but it's just like I've become afraid of anxiety, but that's getting better with time. It's just like I experienced normal anxiety my whole life like everybody does but I wasn't aware of it, I didn't use to pay attention to the anxiety or mind the anxiety and after the trip it's like a door was opened, like I had met anxiety for the first time (which is impossible since we all feel anxiety one time or another) and thus became forever aware of the existence of that feeling. So everytime I think I might feel anxious, i'll probably get anxious about the anxiety, bassically, I get afraid of fear. I'm working on it though and it's better now, way better than in the beginning anyway. My only real fear now is that I've been changed forever into someone that can not enjoy drugs, or even pot, or any entheogen or psychoactive of any kind :S (I said that because I smoked a little bit of pot yesterday to try, I hadn't smoked in months but I wanted to try and it didn't feel the same way :S it wasn't as enjoyable as before and that worried me a little, but I haven't lost my faith in pot yet since I'm on medication which could have caused this:(melatonine to sleep which I've been abusing taking 25 mg every day when you normally only should take 3 or 5 mg xD and mexazolam a benzo that I started taking when I had the second panic attack, 3 times a day, and it's hard as fuck to quit benzos not because of addiction but because the medical literature says that you have to be really careful or you can get withdrawal symptoms which are really dangerous)and the set and setting were awful for weed, so I'll give it another shot once I quit the pills, and start doing stuff that make me feel good xD


I do respect the psychedelics I don't just say so...and I respect them even more now...everyday a little more since everyday I learn more about them and their possible dangers thanks to this awesome comunity.

I am 19, I'll be 20 in september...what about you how old are you ?

you said (quote): ''You have some of what I consider warning signs, this is an issue regardless of psychedelics.. Working with these issues, regardless of psychedelics , again, is an option.. Combining the two is an option too: psychedelic psychanalysis..''

Do you have any information or any book I could read regarding techniques to achieve this? (I think I already asked that to someone else on this thread but didn't really got an answer)
How do you advice to achieve the resolvement of such issues  regardless of psychedelics (without them)?
I think the best way to go would be to work on the issues separetly without psychs at first and then continue with a good technique of trip guideness either trips guided by others or self-guided. Of course a lot should be studied and read and known before trying this. So what do you think? what would you do in my case? do you take psychs although you know the risks ? and which mesures do you take to minimize such risks? besides set, setting, dosage control, trip intention, planning etc...cause I always do those, except that one time when I messed with dosage but that was because I got confused with the damn truffles xD

If I could I would make of all my trips a guided session or at least a session self-guided somehow with an intention of improvement and learning of any kind (even letting go and letting the trip take you where it wants to is a form of conscious guideness IMO (and most of the times requires a lot of effortless effort if you know what I mean)

I'm very interested in the science behind psychedelics, wheter it be aproached from a psycoanalytical(or any acredited psycological school  for that matter) or neuro-chemical point of view...I think there is a lot to learn about how the brain and the mind, or the (mind-brain) normally works by taking psychedelics. That's one of the things that attracted me to try psychedelics in the first place. So I think we have at least that in commun.


Hey there krypto where have you been? how are you feeling? anything new to tell us about? I hope you are doing great man, lots of love bro for real :smile:

p.s.: sorry (to all of you) for writting such long, bad written posts :frown: Innoculos LOOOOL I'm buying oranges and toothpaste today to do an extraction :p

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Offlinepsychotropic89
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: EM455]
    #9854616 - 02/24/09 07:43 AM (15 years, 26 days ago)

I'm glad to know you're okay man. I just tripped the hardest i ever did on saturday night and it felt like it was never ever going to end. Psychadelics definently have a true power that we sometimes dont realize. I am definently going to be more careful with the doses i take because what happened to you could happen to anybody. Ive been in a psych ward before and i know how it is man. Its fucking scary and it sketches you out because you feel something is wrong with you and the world outside is just growing without you. Keep a good attitude on life and you will move on and be fine soon. Hope all is well. Good luck


--------------------
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
Jimi Hendrix


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Offlinemutant
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: psychotropic89]
    #9859571 - 02/24/09 10:01 PM (15 years, 25 days ago)

Maybe we should stop 'hijacking' this thread and create another?? EM455 do you care to open the thread [Maybe name it 'Psychedelics and their dangers'] and do the quoting?? I dunno which is krypto opinion.... it's his thread after all... I don't know weather a mod could do it.. [man this post is huge!]

EM455 you are kind and honest to me.. I appreciate this in a person... Honesty I mean, heh, kindness obviously I appreciate :smile: And your posts are not bad at all, on the contrary man, specially with english not being your native language :smile:

Well, there are two things to start with...

first of all, what triggered the bad trip - this leads to set and setting issues. I am left with the impression that you haven't fully discriminated/made clear what set and setting is. In a way it's the reality [both individual and general, past and present] in the moment a psychoactive is ingested. Of course the fact that you had no cigarettes to smoke must have played a role! Big mistake! Some people suggest to have sedatives at hand when a situaltion becomes too panicky... I am not exactly for or against this. It's an option. Depends... but anyways, anything can play a role. You can't be cold where you are! - well unless you're a masochist :P ... You have to set it up so as you will feel nice and confortable. One great suggestion is to have nothing to do [obligations etc] the next day of the trip, so you can chill and work it out through the next day. Anyways, ideas, ideas..

set is two things: you, anything within you, any experience you might have had in the past, etc. that is the individual and of course also the state of mind, goals, plans, approach, mood, the time you're ingesting.

setting is everything that surrounds you, the enviroment, the temperature, the music, the wind, the fireplace, the toys or muscial instruments you have brought with you, anything, I really mean anything.And then of course the people we are with! Anything might play a role... When under psychedelics, and we don't realise it from the first experiences, every sense is enhanced.. actually, everything is enhanced... if it happens to be tripping and something really bad happens, no doubt it will affect the trip... but beyond that, anything might and often will affect a trip for more 'sensitive' individuals.

The setting is obviously notably important for some people, I mean for some more than others... I can tell because I am one of them. I want seclusion for my psychedelic session... well, even for my pot, I usually do it in a calm and cozy setting...usually at my home or others... maybe I should also say that, even with pot I am a bit sociophobically affected when I am under cannabis peaks, getting the feeling 'they will understand I have done the no-no' - and thing is I hate pretending I am sober or being anxious whether someone will understand I am stoned - i wanna be as I feel that moment, heh... see in my country pot is still a tabboo at large, anyways, maybe these are my own complexes in there too. I thought I should mention. I used to be quite shy as a teenager, I grew quite social as years went by. But still with pot I don't wanna do in random places and especially random people... In parties and festivals, sure fuck yeah! in the pure nature, while mushroom hunting, fuck yeah! during musical improvisation sessions - HELL yeah! Chilling and talking with friends or other partakers - sure :smile: or sitting in fron the pc and wringing these, hehm :smile:

Anyway, back to the psychs, if one has a clear, serious plan, and is not going for random recreational kicks, the set and setting begin to merge in some sections like goals, approach

Clearly, there's no other psychoactive class like the so called classic psychedelics that set + setting play such a crucial role.. this is interesting in itself...

second 'the door which maybe opened' , 'fear of fear', anxiety... for this I cannot really say... you say you're on benzos, this shit is short of euphoric as well as sedative, no?? have you had history with other sedative, tranquilizing medication in the past?

well I think there's definate difference between 'normal' anxiety one experiences for a varyiety of reasons, from an exam to a meeting with a lady, and pathological, when someone begins to have anxiety without reason, or with things one wouldn't normally worry about...

Quote:


you said (quote): ''You have some of what I consider warning signs, this is an issue regardless of psychedelics.. Working with these issues, regardless of psychedelics , again, is an option.. Combining the two is an option too: psychedelic psychanalysis..''

Do you have any information or any book I could read regarding techniques to achieve this? (I think I already asked that to someone else on this thread but didn't really got an answer)
How do you advice to achieve the resolvement of such issues  regardless of psychedelics (without them)?
I think the best way to go would be to work on the issues separetly without psychs at first and then continue with a good technique of trip guideness either trips guided by others or self-guided. Of course a lot should be studied and read and known before trying this. So what do you think?




the sensible approach is needed here... quit psychs for a while, don't plan... read, so some reading... don't let the fear overwhelm you. Everyone fears fear. The sensible do not ignore the fear, the foolish do. The brave explore and experience it. Why would you have this anxiety?  Have you talked about these with your doctor?

I cannot propose a book with some technique, or any specific technique for that matter.. I neither know enough data about you, and you're quite young too, not do I have much 'skills' in directing people into doing things.. Psychanalysis, psychotherapy, are the words I use for exploration of the soul, the history of subject and accusative within the individual. The word psychanalysis comes from 2 greek words, Psyche = soul and analysis = analysis.. how surroundings have affected you.. WHY you're like this... why everysingle one of us is like that , such things. There are many different psychotherapy schools... Phobias, f.e. are considered some of the easist to 'cure' , especially with certain schools, but I don't know anything more.

You ask about me..

I am 29. My first experience with acid was when I was 19 or so.... just like you.. I am not the average person regarding psychoactives.. I am an alcohol and pot regular. But other things, I never felt the urge to abuse or do often ... f.e. I did enjoy speed for a 6 month old period in 2002 , 20 or so ingestions, and a couple more sporadically. I mean, I love stimulants, speed gives me NO sideffects or whatsoever... I enjoyed every single second of me being under the influence, feeling powerfully energetic, social and euphoric... No come downs. But I never abused it. I am that type of guy. I know I will do it again some time, but I am not after it :wink:

And I was always was affected easliy by substances, I can tell you that... I mean, I was never a hardhead... 

Well my experiences so far with the classic psychs are 12 or so, almost all of them up to 2002 , most when I was 19-21. All acid, except last recent ones, well, one actually, the other I was just low-dose-sitting, doesn't really count...

Well my most recent was my first take with LSA, last summer, HBWR seeds.... A very interesting experience.. much of what I am suggesting here has been affected by it in a way.. I have learnt and cleared out many many things from it.. both directly, short term I mean, but also lots of it are from the things and data I have processed since then.. it's a continuous proceedure.. That how it goes for me and that's how it has always been, actually..  And I have come to believe that it effects you underground without you much noticing it... that's why i believe small doses might do this too..
back to the trip, well, here's an interesting turning point...
it had a negative twist for 30 mis or so [guess what caused this: a wrong-timed single puff from the second joint we did]. The first joint which asked the sitter to make felt very unrecognisable, but actually boosted the comeup after the last vomits, but hey, very strange, within the moment i spontaneously puffed from the second one I knew it was a bad decision... Very strange.... And I tell you I am a pot regular... well, it's a strange story, because I was smoking too much pot that period and also had some occasional pain/annoyance in the chest/heart when smoking too much... well, back to the trip, that crucial drag from the second joint reversed the exploratory euphoria I was in, that moment, into a negative space, where the pain chest also soon came in... a minor puff, I tell you, I didn't even have the time to drag it down!

I should note that the 2nd joint was not my idea, as the first, it was my friend's and sober sitter's idea, he made it as I didn't notice observing plants in close and he called and offered ... Of course I never did a second drag... Anyways, I lied down and worked my way in my mind.. the negativeness faded off within 30 mins, pain left too.. the most interesting parts of my trip are next, and it's more serious, not 'recreationally' euphoric, like the first phase which was interrupted by the negative puff, but also had a euphoric epiphany with it next on... I was lying outside, in that summer night, looking at the great night view of the distant city colours and some tree and plants in the foreground, wounded in blankets to be comfortably warm and soft on the stone bench, and just enjoy being, feeling and finally linking the hug, the birth, the warm water feeling, affectionation.. anyways... you got an idea... It was rewarding overall. Even if the whole preperation and recippe went totally wrong so that I don't exactly know the quantity I took! Both extract and chewing seeds was consumed. [I vomited too early because the -sweet- wine in the preperation was spoilt!! 12 HBWR seeds in the preparation, plus 5 chewed latr on...  go figure :P]

The traditional setting maybe has some to say about this... I am convinced LSA acids have great potential in psychanalysis . Recently a buddy of mine had his first experience with a classic psychedelic, and it worked very well too, psychanalytically speaking... he never vomited, strangely, as he has a weak stromach, and came up to be euphoric and enjoying himself too.. while sitting beside the fireplace... I played the slave :smile: heh, actually I am never so good with people, I mean I was the perfect sitter... I guess the reason was I knew him, I knew it was a significant moment for him, and I tried to help him as much as I could not to distract himself and to keep him happy and carry on his experiment... I brought him whatever he needed , a made a fire in the fireplace for him even though it was a fine warm summer night, and I think I was a good 'psychanalysist' too.. I tried to speak as little as I could, as he was becoming enthusiastic and felling and saying  stuff by himself, feeling clues of what needed to be learnt...  I was discreet enough to only push in certain moments I thought right... when he sometimes stopped his 'rambling'. Btw, I had only partaked 91 seeds self grown Ipomoea heavenly blue seeds, to just get a tiny taste of the space , maybe be more tuned-in...

In short, I did some acid when I was 19-21, and just recently, after I have become a mushroom hunter [edibles] and very interested in nature for some 5 years now, these last 2 years I have come back to this chapter of my life, and I am growing some of the most notorius ethnobotanicals and actually seeing it more of a personal study and relationship with my plants and understanding nature and stuff, heh.. I am an egocentrical son of a bitch :smile:

Quote:

do you take psychs although you know the risks ?



So no, I don't do psychs. It's special moments for me which I choose, and after all these years, I know it's gonna be done ONLY when everything is how I want to, and there's a 'plan' and preparation. I have many experiments in my mind, some involving of course more recreational, or creational value, including percussions and instruments, music jamming and improvizing, or LSA ingestion in warm water, ideally a sensory deprivation tank + more ideas...

I have also experimented a lot with amanita muscaria, and also a bit with Salvia divinorum... the so called, dissociatives... different spaces, different issues... I love amanitas by the way... I believe there are people who are more 'compatible' [for lack of better word] with certain substances. Clearly there are people who can ingest massive amount of psychedelics and other substances and stay relatively sane and functionable.. I am sure I was going to be nuts if I did this... I am a more rational type of guy... Why the fuck would one wanna do , f.e. with mushrooms, which I haven't done yet, 7 grams instead of 3 grams, if 3 grams provide a strong experience?? Of course it's up to the individual to decide, but heck, I don't understand all this, maybe because , to me the classic psychedelics are actually like  a fascinating tool, rather than a fetish, a religion, or a preferance. Some people who do it frequently develop some kind of tolerance and their upping their doses to insane numbers! That's nuts! People in various forums mention 6 tabs of acid like it's a couple of beer for antichrist's sake!

And I think I might be more compatible with dissociative 'space' , as they have been 'friendlier' with me.. But after all these years, I know that even if some somewhat random and lightearted acid trips of my young years have been perfect and euphoric, I have understood the importance of the set and setting of classic psychs. Because I had 2 bad trips too.. heh... In other times, the wrong stuff happened while tripping, all kinds of annoying , stupid stuff and I was smiling all around... you never know what's in those tabs anyway.. the only measure is if some friend has tried from the same batch...

As for frequency of use, I don't understand people who wanna do it all the time.. I don't.. I don't need to escape from reality.. well, some might turn that back on me with me cannabis and alcohol use, but, OK, noones perfect.. still my intellect and mental stabilty is fine after some 10 years of use and abuse...

Some time I did speed 2 days in arow, because there was a good techno party that second day.. it wasn't the same... tireness and mental fog accumulates... it's natural... it's the same with acid.. if you abuse it , it will eventually lose the shine and greatness of the first times. It's a marvellus experience, unique. Unique... Once or twice in a year, if at all, like few sensible people suggest... Psychedelics can be like all other substances of abuse, people taking them for kicks, to escape reality , anything. Belief or spirituality are not so good excuses for the exaggeration, if you ask me. I believe psychedelics and especailly hard use can have a toll on the mind, and it's up to the individual, the experiences and other parameters to make it something great and useful, or something problematic.

now who's writing totally impossible, off-topic, stupid posts? huh?? :P :smile:Please someone tranfer these somewhere else??

Edited by mutant (02/24/09 10:12 PM)

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OfflineEM455
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: mutant]
    #9862171 - 02/25/09 11:46 AM (15 years, 25 days ago)

Hey mutant I just read your whole post (wasn't that long)...I don't have the time to really answer right now but I will shortly. I will create the thread you suggested and send you a link by PM or something I guess xD we'll talk some more later in the new thread.

I'd like to see krypto around here again by the way xD

Edit:
here's the link to the new thread : http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/9862202/an/0/page/0

should I quote all of our posts? or what? I don't really know how to do it but I'll quote your last post in there so I can answer you later :smile:

Edited by EM455 (02/25/09 11:52 AM)

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Offlinekrypto2000
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: EM455]
    #9865544 - 02/25/09 08:04 PM (15 years, 25 days ago)

I'm still lurking guys lol, just been busy. I've decided to give up on explaining this. The more I think about it the more complicated it becomes to put into words, and I'm no longer seeing a need to.

You all have been very helpful, thank you so much.

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Offlinehalo
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: krypto2000]
    #9866393 - 02/25/09 10:07 PM (15 years, 24 days ago)

well how are you doing now? Any better? back to normal?


--------------------
All drugs should be legal

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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: krypto2000]
    #9866722 - 02/25/09 10:51 PM (15 years, 24 days ago)

I've found that some sophisticated and unusual operations of the brain only become more confusing with the attempt to describe them... sometimes it can't hurt to just put something behind you. :crazy:


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


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OfflineEM455
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #9868412 - 02/26/09 09:29 AM (15 years, 24 days ago)

Hey kryptoo I understand what you mean, don't worry about explaining any further if you don't feel like it. Thanks a lot for sharing so much with all of us :smile: I really appreciate it. I hope we were at least a bit helpful. I wish you the best man, see you around the shroomery :laugh:

I was wondering the same thing as Halo though: ''well how are you doing now? Any better? back to normal? ''

I'd also like to know, if you don't mind me asking, If you will continue to trip in the future, or using any drug for that matter? Has this experienced scared you away from drugs for ever or not at all?
That's just me being curious xD sorry

P.S.: What about those drawings you had made? any chance you'll post them? I'd love to see them :smile:

Edited by EM455 (02/26/09 09:56 AM)

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Offlinemystikk
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: EM455]
    #13753214 - 01/08/11 04:00 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Kryptoo, my friend linked me this post a couple days ago and I read every page in utter awe.  He messaged me on facebook saying, "Dude, did you make a post on the shroomery about your acid trip?"  I have never been on this website before, but after reading this i had to make a comment.  Your story is EXACTLY like what happened to me. I really want to stress the word EXACTLY. Its so similar that it is scary.  My event happened in January as well, 1 year almost exactly after yours, So January of 2010.  The part where you went to your mothers house and climbed in her bed and slept almost brought me to tears because that's the exact thing I did when things started getting bad for me.  When i got in her bed, I also had an experience with god talking through me to her.  She also took me to a psyche ward.  Please comment on this thread and elaborate more or PM me.  I will list here a number of things that are the same about my story as yours..
-Being originally aligned with eastern philosophy
-Having an intense spiritual experience
-No mescaline was involved but I only took 1 dose of acid to make me feel like I would not stop tripping.  Also your previous drug dosages match mine pretty much
-Your aunt has mental history, my uncle has mental history
-Feeling intense anxiety/psychosis when talking about what I was experiencing to others.
-Being unable to really control my body actions, but being able to will my thoughts to make things happen
-Time being unlinear
-Text messages and calls disappearing
-I was in the hospital for 7 days, I believe you said 6 or 7
-Everyone being curiously nice to me and almost bending to my will (Even tho I had no desire to misuse anyone)
-Not being able to lie
-Feeling as if I had psychic abilites
-The feeling as if god or some other entity was writing through me and keeping a journal.  Whenever I tried to show someone the journal intense axiety built up in me and gave me the feeling like I or someone was going to die.  Leading me to eventually burn the journal.
-Having to question everything
-A realization of a separate conciousness
-A feeling as if I could influence or change the world
-A series of deja vu like instances
-The part about you going to the doctor and feeling as if you had the "upper hand" in expaining and diagnosing things.  Like being a step ahead
-The diagnosis the doctor gave me was a chemical imbalance and induced psychosis from drugs, same like you.
I can probably think of more, but I am typing this up on my friends computer very hastily.  I really would like to know more about the hospital, because I feel like that part of my story changed me forever and some unexplainable things happened between those walls.  And like you said, most of my story I have attributed to a warped memory.  I haven't talked about this to many people besides a few close friends, and I feel like in reading your story it helped to shed light upon my own and realize things about mine.  Also a prevaling theme in my story was the number 11.  Or multiples of 11.  Or seeing the time 9:11.  Anyway, I can talk forever about this so please check this lol.  I am really interested in knowing how you are now, 2 years later.  Do you still smoke pot?  Do hallucinogens?  How did the people around you in retrospect view your and your behavior? (Most of my friends have no idea what I was going through or could tell what was happening.)  Also, from the sounds of your posts you are in the computer/technology field.  Wanna know my major? Information Systems Technologies.  Fucking freaky...

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InvisibleHiei
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: mystikk]
    #13753621 - 01/08/11 05:08 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Hey man calm down, I'm glad you're OK now. :biggrin:

A close friend of mine had a psychosis too this summer. Many things he told me and I saw personally being with him match what you and krypto did and thought.

I dont know if he still posts on here, but I'm very interested in this!


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OfflineHorticulture
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: Hiei]
    #13754057 - 01/08/11 06:20 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I don't know why this old ass thread got bumped, but while it's up here, I'll admit some fucked up shit like this happened to me this spring. 

It started with a bad marijuana "trip", where my thinking turned entirely mathematical.  Similar to the post where someone was talking about thinking in binary.  It was just a hellish experience. It was as if everything in my mind and experiences were variables, and my mind was actually trying to solve itself, like one gigantic multi-variable equation.  It was much danker marijuana than I was used to smoking, and I'm not entirely unconvinced that it wasn't laced with something.  Anyway, by that night I had calmed down a little bit, and actually went to see Desmond Tutu speak at my school.  Seeing someone so enlightened propelled me forward on my fucked up quest for enlightenment.

My personality underwent some drastic changes.  I became incredibly altruistic to a fault. I would tip people absurd amounts of money at completely inappropriate times.  Like at the bookstore, or in the cafeteria.  My thinking became incredibly jumbled, but I was still functional.  I'm a pretty smart guy and could compensate really well.

Somewhere in there I used some DMT, and that catapulted my feelings of spirituality.  I got *really* spiritual, and started believing I could predict the future and shit.  Also, reading and interpreting people's movements seemed to be directly relevant to me.  I was slipping, hard, but none of my friends had the guts to say anything.  Maybe because I've always been a little different. Maybe cause they respected me. Maybe because they wanted to believe in my spiritual delusions, and visions of the future.  Who knows?

It all broke around spring break.  I became obsessed with seeing my ex, (who lives far away), and who I interpreted to be some sort of integral part in my own little delusional creation narrative.  Also, I got a new phone, which I believed to be sentient (that's a long story in and of itself).  So... I embarked on a quest to visit this ex of mine.  Except... I didn't take my wallet. Long story short, I crashed my car into a field.

I wandered around in this weird ass little town in god knows where, talking to random people, until I pissed off some dude who lived in a trailer, and he called the cops on me (thank god).  I was arrested, and sent back home, institutionalized in the psych ward of my local hospital.  I was given a whole lot of psychiatric meds, but was still having delusions about heaven and hell, puppet people, aliens, being monitored, god it was weird.  But no one would tell me straight up that I was batshit crazy. In fact, I didn't even know why I was in a mental hospital. I thought it was some sort of training exercise, to help me use my newfound powers.

Eventually I convinced them I was sane enough to be let out of the mental hospital (I wasn't).  But luckily, it was summer now, and I had space and time to reorient myself with reality.  Eventually the delusions, faded, and I pieced together my memories in a logical fashion.  At this point it actually occurred to me how horrifying what had happened to me actually was. 

I still don't understand it. Nor do I really like thinking about it.  The whole experience turned me off to spirituality in general.  Who knows? Maybe I did break through to some higher plane of reality.  But... I definitely wasn't prepared to be there.

Now I'm 100% back to normal, and 100% off meds.  I look at the experience as a nightmarish freakshow of what the unwatched psyche can create.  I don't know exactly what happened.  I do have a family history of mental breakdowns around my age, but everyone in my family has recovered to live normal lives. Drugs probably had something to do with it, as did an incredible amount of stress I had put on myself that semester. 

I'm not done with psychedelics, but I'm certainly a lot more aware of my mental state, and better able to keep myself grounded in reality.


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The Plant Mage Guild

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InvisibleHiei
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: Horticulture]
    #13756056 - 01/09/11 03:01 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I think stress is what helps trigger psychosis most of the time.

So you're saying you took psychedelics again after that crazy experience and been just fine?


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Edited by Hiei (01/09/11 03:01 AM)

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Offlinecosmic_ape
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spiritual emergency [Re: Hiei]
    #13771897 - 01/11/11 10:03 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

First of all, you should stop (as soon as you can, of course) the medication –it is true that it can create even bigger problems.

The most important thing for you to remember now is that there’s nothing to fear in the universe, but yourself!

I think you are experiencing what is known as “spiritual emergency” in the transpersonal psychology jargon.

Have a look:
  “It is possible to undergo a profound crisis involving non-ordinary experiences and to perceive it as pathological or psychiatric when in fact it may be more accurately and beneficially defined as a spiritual emergency.”  (Stanislav Grof)

http://spiritualemergency.blogspot.com/

http://www.spiritualemergence.org.au/pages/what_is.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanislav_Grof

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Offlinecosmic_ape
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Re: spiritual emergency [Re: cosmic_ape]
    #13771970 - 01/11/11 10:12 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

by the way, have you checked the date..............?

1/11/1

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Invisible420happyhippy
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Re: So I just got out of the psyche ward [Re: cosmic_ape]
    #13772991 - 01/12/11 02:43 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)



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"I AM, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE."

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