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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
language/speaking issues
    #9662623 - 01/22/09 11:19 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

So I have developed a bit of a problem in regards to my ability to communicate with others. Example, I just sat here and typed a huge essay about how I was abusing cannabis and got depressed, then I realized that it really had little to do with the original reason I came here. That is why I really don't post on here too often. I will want to respond with so much information I can't present it in logical progression. Same goes with speaking now.

It wasn't always like this. I used to be a great public speaker with a wonderful vocabulary. I was witty and sharp. I think this problem began when I suffered some depression and low self-esteem. As I got worse my voice lost its resonance and volume. I became a lot more quite in general. I went some days just muttering enough to get by. It was bad, but I have moved on from the depression.

Although I have dissolved almost all my negative thought patterns, I feel like my ability to express myself has been damaged or weakened. Like I said in the other paragraph. I want to say so much I lose my train of thought. Not so much lose it; I guess the best way to put it would be that my mental picture of what I want to say changes before I actually get done saying it. So I will finish the thought in my head and move onto another before I bring closure to what I already started sharing with everyone. Because of this my speech sounds fragmented and undeveloped. Also my vocabulary seems to be a lot worse off. It's like I just draw a blank when trying to think of words for certain concepts, etc.

I haven't smoked in 3 days and won't for a long time, at least not till June. I eat a healthy diet and exercise sporadically, although I will soon be getting on a daily exercise routine. I don't feel like my mind has been dulled down at all. I love reading and learning knew things. I like to refine my knowledge, ponder things, solve problems. I am quick to learn new things. I feel like my thought processes are good if not better then most other peoples, but when I try to communicate, well you know this part by now...:tongue:

So shroomerites, I ask for advice on what to do. Nootropics? Meditation? How do I go about fixing the language areas of my brain. I want the lucidity of having a good conversation again. Can anyone relate or has anyone been in a similar position?

I am tired right now so off to bed, but I will add some more commentary later. If anyone read this whole thing, thank you.

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InvisibleMcFace
Chemical Engineer
Male


Registered: 06/24/08
Posts: 121
Loc: Ont Canada
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #9662786 - 01/22/09 11:55 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

So, if I understand what you are saying correctly you have suffered from depression and now you are lacking communication skills.

First I would like to say that I think I understand where you coming from and what you are going through.  I my self suffer from depression and its effects including communication problems.  I find my self becoming more shy, lacking the want to talk to people and more times I “choke” on my words.

Do you find your self wanting to be alone more then with people? Spending more time sheltered doing drugs?  Spending time not interacting with others is time you are losing your ability to communicate.  It’s the same as “use it or loss it”.   
Depression makes you lose interest in every thing.  You don’t care about things you once loved, you don’t have the drive to achieve your goals any more.  The more time you spend alone and doing drugs, the more you get “addicted” to the hole that you’re in.
So all I can say is that you need to get out and communicate more, the only way you learn and better at something is practice practice practice.  First off start hanging around people that you are comfortable with, then move up strangers.  Ask you out going friends to help you meet new people.

I hope my few words brings new light to your world.
Good luck
M.C. Face
I’m out of this PLACE!

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Offlinedollylama
Stranger


Registered: 08/22/08
Posts: 43
Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #9663019 - 01/23/09 01:00 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I have dealt with this problem or insecurity too, whether are cases are the same there is no way to tell, but here are my ideas.

My first piece of advice to you I believe will be the most important in recovering you eloquence and clarity of communication.

Id be willing to bet that often during communication you make a mistake or have a slip of memory and immediately think "something is wrong with me".  Whether a real cognitive problem exists, thinking about how you are disordered or ill equipped while simultaneously trying to communicate with someone will make it near impossible to communicate.  In other words, you may have formed a psychological pattern of thinking and pondering upon your abilities while at the same time trying to communicate.  So don’t think about talking, just talk.  Don’t think about thinking, just think.  You mentioned a history of anxiety and depression-  People of this kind (such as my self)  often have the ability to analyze and worry about everything,  this may play a big part in the psychological pattern I previously mentioned  ( analyzing your communication while at the same time communicating).    Here is a way to stop this kind of thing:  Every time you catch yourself thinking of your possible problem, redirect your thoughts off of it as soon as possible.  Do not dwell.

As for the meditation:  Buddhist  believe that meditation has the ability to make the mind more clear and focused.  In these kinds of meditations, try and engage in pure thought that seems linear and not scattered.  I believe this to be helpful if done properly.

Other tips:  Speak more often. In your days of low confidence and depression, you may have not used your communication enough and endured some temporary atrophy.  Do you attend school?  Get involved in many discussions.  Talk more to your friends and family.  Go debate with someone about religion ( it never ends).  Find an intellectual and visit a near starbucks.  Nothing makes you better at doing then doing.

  Read out loud:  Reading out loud helps you process words not only mentally, but vocally.  This will help increase or regain your ratio of vocabulary known to vocabulary used.  Most people on average can only speak with about a third of the vocabulary they can recognize and read.  Make sure you comprehend what you are reading well speaking aloud- this is crucial.

Do Sudoku’s or other puzzles to keep the mind sharp.  Activate you prefrontal cortex more often.

Keep reading.

Although I don’t believe ADD to be real "disorder", I wouldn’t be surprised if you could pass a test that said you had it.  Wondering minds have trouble focusing, so I believe drugs like Aderall will help if you are desperate.  I dont condone it,  but it might be something to help boost your confidence, to prove that "you've still got it".

I believe marijuana to be detrimental to memory.  If optimum memory is something you seek, I would slow down on the pot.

Once again, the more you think you have a "problem" the worse off you will be.

Lastly, some insight of a different kind:  No matter how well you communicate, or how good your vocabulary is, your value as a human being is unchanged.  I believe this universe to be a divine one, and also that all man are equal in a spiritual sense (the most important sense).  Do not forget the big picture.  Communication is nothing next to compassion, so remember to give it, and just as important, to receive it.   

Hope this helps.

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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 15 days
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #9663169 - 01/23/09 02:05 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

The ability to speak is actually very close closely related to the ability to reason. If you say you suffered from depression, this experience in itself can take away from one's normal ability to think clearly and put their thoughts in order. You can get all these back through practice, through reading more, exercising your diction, and maybe take some basic logic classes, and, of course, give yourself the time you need to assimilate all the new knowledge.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #9663813 - 01/23/09 07:45 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I am still recovering from being shy for most of my life.  After having worked on this for while I've seen tremendous improvements, but this year I'm taking a stranglehold of this particular problem. 

You may want to consider this technique of immersion.  You know, applying large amounts of effort to this one area for a while.  I've chosen interpersonal communication as kind of a 'theme' for 2009.  I have a list of goals that are all in some way related to connecting with people.  I'm taking a class where I have to speak in front of others, I've got a stack of twelve books on conversation and communication that I will get through, I'm even going to relocate to a new country where I don't know anyone.  I will overwhelm this problem with conscious effort.  By 2010 I will be a master compared to the level I'm at now.

It really all amounts to pushing yourself into situations you are not quite comfortable with.  I figure it makes sense to give little pushes at first, just to get some momentum, then raise the stakes steadily.  Fear is a good indicator of areas in which you can grow.

For me chronic marijuana use really short-circuited any attempts to improve my communications ability; I didn't make progress until I cut it out.  I think quitting will make a big difference for you.

Good luck!  Kick this problem's ass.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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OfflineLion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 6 days, 13 hours
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #9663877 - 01/23/09 08:09 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

:thumbup:

Cannabis held me back in my ability to communicate as well. 

These days, it's usually easy for me to express myself, and interpersonal interaction is more of a joy because of it.  I am even conquering my fear of public speaking in a big way, which feels great!  Of course, there's always room for regression...lately I've been cooped up in my house, not interacting much, and my interpersonal skills have suffered for it.  So, yeah...you have to get out there and push yourself into new situations.  Reading a wide variety of stuff (news, novels, nonfiction) and having a few passionate interests (sports, cooking, philosophy, hiking, whatever) makes it much easier to have comfortable conversations as well.

Also, if you are worried about the tone and pitch of your voice, do tongue exercises, or even take a speech class.

(As an aside: WC, which country are you moving to?)


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: Lion]
    #9663898 - 01/23/09 08:15 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

New Zealand.

I don't want to jack the thread so I'll :pm:


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #9664643 - 01/23/09 11:06 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks for the replies everyone!

mrface: yes, i was leading a very sheltered life. I was very alone, but I am past that now.

dollylama: I don't really get anxiety about this. I don't have those thoughts you described. To some extent I did, but that is over and done with. The reading out loud sounds like a great idea. i had heard that before but totally forgot about it. It's defiantly not ADD and I'm with you on that the drugs used to treat it do more harm then good. If anything, I think the weed induced some ADD like symptoms.

to everyone else: thanks for the advice. Reading out loud will probably be a big help. I'm also going to be getting some ginkgo and what not so that will likely help me with achieving the lucidity I once had

I will post back here in a couple months and update how I'm doing
thanks again everybody:heart:

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Offlineocarina
C9H13NO3 + C8H11NO3 = >8)
Male

Registered: 07/18/07
Posts: 249
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #9673138 - 01/24/09 08:27 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Definitely read outloud man, I was on my second hour (non-stop) on Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness' and my vocal tone changed dramatically and my speech flowed a lot better.

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Offlinefazdazzle
Wanderer


Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 1,796
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: language/speaking issues [Re: ocarina]
    #9673891 - 01/24/09 11:16 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I can definitely see reading outloud helping...when I'm driving alone sometimes I just hoot and hollar for no reason other than to use my voice. It felt awkward at first but now I think it's helping me to be more confident.

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